Sitting around on a Monday night, halfheartedly watching Sportscenter after a phenomenal I saw something crawl across the bottom of my television set that, to the average viewer would be relatively trivial.
MLB Brewers fire manager Ned Yost and name third base coach Dale Sveum as interim manager.
Sveum, that name seems familiar….
Where do I know that….
Wait a second, is that….
Good God.
Ladies and gentlemen, in the strongest nod to mediocrity since Sarah Palin was nominated to be the vice president of the United States, the worst third base coach in Boston Red Sox (nay, Major League) history, is now in charge of an actual baseball team. In charge of one in a pennant race for that matter.
Ok, maybe mediocrity is the wrong word. Sveum did capture the elusive third base coach triple crown in 2005. He lead the league in RTOAP (Runners Thrown Out At the Plate), RTSBDS (Runners That Should’ve Scored But Didn’t) and HAGESF (Heart Attacks Given to Elderly Sox Fans). I guess in the Brewers’ defense, they could have given Sveum a position he was worse suited to: Buss Driver (‘I know that the light is red, but I swear I can make it, screw it, I’ m going!’).
What did the people of Wisconsin do to deserve this? And not just this, this entire year has been a disaster for the Cheese and Beer State (I know Wikipedia could have given me WI’s actual nickname, but that was more appropriate than the ‘Badger State’, although maybe more risqué than ‘America’s Dairyland’ as a nickname for the state that has a population of 5.6 million and is represented in the Senate by Herb Kohl and Russ Feingold. Alaska is near Russia, nominate me for VP). Forget the fact that you are in a pennant race. Forget the fact that no team has fired an above .500 manager through 150 games since the Hoover administration. Forget even that the Brewers got rid of the manager that lead a mediocre pitching staff and a lineup featuring only one hitter over .280 to a tie for the wild card with two weeks left in the season. The Brewers just hired a guy that any Sully, Mick or Murph could have tell you should be managing in A Ball. So for Brewers fans, here is some definite proof-ish type stuff that the sports world has, indeed been turned upside down and you aren’t alone.
Victor Zambrano threw a no hitter, at an Astros’ home game. Despite being in a tight pennant race, the Astros agreed to play this game at Miller Park. Apperently they don’t know how to use mapquest.
Aaron Rodgers is a better quarterback than Brett Favre, not in 2010, now. Sure, it has only been two weeks, but you can put this debate to bed. There are things that you can fake for a couple of weeks (a minor leaguer charging out to a .450 average after a call up etc), but the poise and ability that Rodgers has shown isn’t something that comes and goes. The shocking part; I was right. Not to say I told you so, everyone on ESPN and every other media outlet that thought the Packers were out of their minds and are now conveniently not mentioning their favoritism towards Favre, but… I F***ING TOLD YOU SO! (that felt good, moving on)
Matt Cassel is starting in the NFL. Matt Leinart isn’t. Two starting QBs went down in week one (Brodie Croyle and Vince Young), and every analyst agreed that their backups (Kerry Collins and Trent Green) were significant upgrades. The best QB in the NFL went to a 1-AA school and he is one of seven (Romo, Warner, Jackson, Kitna, Flacco, O’Sullivan and Thigpen) that didn’t even play D1-A football. There are 112 D-1 teams…how does this make sense? Of the 10 best quarterbacks in the world, beyond the fact that two that theoretically weren’t good enough to start at Temple or Middle Tennessee St., one (Brady) is out for the year, one (Manning) is beginning to look like he peaked in 2006,one (Favre) spent 4 months of the offseason retired and one (Vick) is in jail for another 10 months. Speaking of which, Marcus is going to go down as the well behaved Vick (old I know, but still funny). This is how the best football league in the world is filling out the 32 highest profile jobs in sports?
I lost 6 fantasy points because DeSean Jackson dropped the ball too early as he celebrated into the end zone. If I hadn’t won anyways, I may have put a hit out on Jackson. Speeking of hits on fantasy NFL players, LT has 6 points in two weeks. People are debating whether you can trade him for someone like Adrian Peterson. Right now I might trade him for Darren Sproles… Norv Turner appears to agree.
I actually considered that some people from Wisconsin may still be upset given the second point that I made here.
So if that doesn’t at least ease the pain Wisconsinites, don’t drink yourself into a Miller-induced stupor, or commit suicide by eating brats and cheese until you clog an artery, instead look on the bright side. Your Brewers may not make the playoffs, but Rodgers looks miles ahead of Tavarius Jackson, the Badgers are poised to make a run at the Rose Bowl, if not the national championship, and if that doesn’t make you feel better at least Sveum isn’t your third base coach anymore.
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