tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88285284753251350532024-02-18T19:25:22.388-08:00Obstructed View SportsThe Irrelevant Insights of an Outsider's OutsiderJackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.comBlogger106125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-87537542286608602812011-03-28T23:39:00.000-07:002011-03-28T23:39:49.912-07:00OBSTRUCTED VIEW SPORTS HAS MOVED<a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1118119275">OBSTRUCTED VIEW SPORTS HAS MOVED!</a><br />
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1118119275">Obstructed View Sports has changed locations. It can now be found at:</a><br />
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<a href="http://obstructedviewsports.net/">http://obstructedviewsports.net</a><br />
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Check it out.Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-67486518806778506202011-03-23T14:15:00.000-07:002011-03-23T14:35:02.945-07:00Breaking Down a Great Moment in Stupidity<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">We are already through the first two rounds of the NCAA tournament (TWO, NCAA, that was TWO rounds.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Play in games DO NOT count), and the Big East tournament has more or less faded from memory, but I had to chime in a little bit late, because what I witnessed in Madison Square Garden (well, I witnessed it in bed, on TV, but it happened in Madison Square Garden) was a true virtuoso performance.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">It may well have been one of the all time greats.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Also, Kemba Walker played pretty well. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">I’m not talking about him, though. I am talking about the absolutely EPIC officiating performance at the end of the Rutgers-St. Johns game that now doubles as one of my favorite videos on YouTube. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Actually, though, to put it all on the refs is to take credit away from the players, and that just wouldn’t be fair to these fine young student athletes who have done so much and worked so hard to contribute to the level of comedic incompetence on the internet. The two-a-days just became worth it, boys. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Let’s take a look at this and break it down. Something this wonderfully insane cannot exist without me taking the opportunity to make fun of it in some sort of public forum.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/nsBV0S5ynu0" title="YouTube video player" width="425"></iframe><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">First of all, AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! OHMYFREAKINGGOD THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE. IT IS LIKE EVERYONE ON THE COURT JUST CHECKED OUT WITH 5 SECONDS LEFT IN A 1 SCORE GAME. IT’S THE ULTIMATE STORM OF INCOMPETENCE, OBLIVIOUSNESS AND IDIOCY. IN OTHER WORDS IT IS PERFECT!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">/(calming down)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Okay, let’s look at exactly what’s wrong with this play. I counted at least eight things. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">First of all, why is St. Johns coming out in a press defense. I think they refer to it as a ¾ press, but it may as well be a full court, since they have guys guarding all the way down the floor. Why stretch your own D, and leave space where they could get an open look for the game? Isn’t Steve Lavin supposed to be, you know, a good coach? Or does he just have great hair. He definitely has great hair, but the coaching thing is in question here. Anyways, that would have been pretty bad normally, but considering this clip it was like a 2.5 out of 10 on the stupidity scale. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">The next problem is mentioned by the commentators, but not nearly is made of it. WHY IN GODS NAME ARE YOU THROWING UP A HAIL MARY WITH 5 SECONDS LEFT? This is the second of the coaching mistakes in the clip, and it is a little bit less forgivable. Do you have 4 lumbering power forwards on the floor? Can no one run the court with the ball in less than 5 seconds? Or did you just think it would be more fun to try to get an open shot 4 on 5 than when all 5 of your guys are in bounds? This one is way worse than the press, which is more ridiculously aggressive than flat out foolish. And it took about a minute to shoot the freenthrows, giving Rutgers plenty of time to draw it up and get a play to the floor. The coach got together with his assistants and his teammates, considered the best plan, and decided that it would be to huck the ball 40 feet into what amounts to triple coverage. GENIUS!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Next, it probably should have been over the back. But that is boring. Moving on.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Now, we get to the good stuff. Some real elite, top level dumbassary. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">It is the refs who have gotten the brunt of the criticism on this play, but to me they aren’t the MVPs of the affair. That distinction goes to number 32 of the Rutgers Scarlet Knights, Justin Brownlee. First of all, I want you to bear in mind that Brownlee did not cause this turnover. I want you to bear in mind that he went 6-11 with 13 points 6 boards and 0 assists, a decent game to be sure, but nothing special. I want you to bear all of this in mind, because Justin Brownlee certainly did not when he recovered a loose ball that essentially rolled to his feet, and proceeded to prance around like he was <a href="http://www.youtube.com/embed/1P0yfq2wDvU">Greg Jennings, and had PUT DA TEAM ON HIS BACK DO. </a><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">I don’t know if our buddy Justin has a terrible internal sense of time. I suppose it is possible. After all, time can seem to go slowly in stressful situations. Maybe he was also confused by the fact that Rutgers was acting like the clock was to expire. Still, he has presumably played basketball before, and knows that not only every game, but every period, is punctuated (get it?) by a GIANT FREAKING BUZZER, which, to the point that he picked up the ball, had not gone off. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">This was something that he failed to take into account, when he failed to take into account another intricacy of basketball, namely dribbling. Instead, he decided that, with a full 2 seconds left on the clock, his best play was to pick up the ball and prance with it in one hand. That is pretty freakin stupid, but not nearly as stupid as his next course of action, namely ignoring the boundaries of the court, stepping out of bounds with about 1.7 seconds left. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">To his credit, Brownlee is clearly a fan of sportsmanship and fair play. Not unlike this kid:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/wUUGz3WuqJI" title="YouTube video player" width="425"></iframe></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">(God, that is the worst commercial in the world. The only relatable characters in the thing are the antagonists who represent the peer pressure evils of…trying to win, I guess. YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME ALEX! I’m with them. I would want to kick Alex’s ass after pulling a stunt like that. We can’t let the coach off of the hook either. Someone needs to introduce him to Herm Edwards. YOU PLAY, TO WIN THE GAME. Foundation for a Better Life? More like Foundation for Turning All of Our Kids into Pansies. That’s almost as bad as <a href="http://boston.barstoolsports.com/random-thoughts/the-pussification-of-america-continues-st-george-forfeits-football-game-because-they-are-afraid-of-getting-hurt/">forfeiting a game because you thought the other team was too good</a>. Who would <a href="http://letterstocolin.blogspot.com/">go to a school that would do something like that</a>? But I digress.)<o:p></o:p></span></i><br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Clearly, he is a fan of fair play, because Brownlee realizes that the refs have missed his stepping out of bounds, and in a desperate attempt to make them realize it and correctly award Rutgers the ball, Brownly nobly throws the ball deep into the stands, so that even though they lost about half a second from the missed call, the Scarlet Knights will still get the ball back with about 1.2 seconds left, the time remaining when the ball is hurled out of bounds. That was a admirable, selfless display of sportsmanship by Brownlee, even if it went unnoticed by the refs, who had apparently left the floor well before the inbound attempt. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Either that, or Brownlee is a moron, had no idea what he was doing, pulled a DeSean Jackson, and somehow got away with it thanks only to some of the most oblivious officiating I have ever seen. I know that I was late getting to this, but it needed to be said. That kind of stupidity cannot go unnoticed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-22136759363185172952011-03-17T00:33:00.000-07:002011-03-17T11:20:50.879-07:00A Call to Arms<div class="MsoNormal">I have eluded, a number of times, to the fact that I am in a fraternity (or if you like, the fact that I am an insufferable, douche bag frat boy, although I resent that distinction, and would contend that it isn’t true). Now, as it happens, our fraternity does not have pledges for the winter and spring quarters, which is a shame, because right now, I have the single best idea for a pledge task that I have ever had, and possibly the best one that anyone has ever had. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Since I can’t do it (well, assign it) right now, I have to at least record it. An idea like this doesn’t come around often. On top of that, I need to share it. This is my forum. I’m going to make the most of it. <br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It requires at least three or four pledges, although if more are available, there would be plenty of ways to get them involved. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">(At this point I should mention that this could also be applicable for college hockey teams with freshies, but schools could see it as inappropriate and punish the teams, whereas fair or not, it would likely be seen as ‘frats doing what frats do’ if done by pledges, and a tame instance at that. I don’t want people to get their teams in trouble, so I will gear it towards frats here.)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The scene for the task is simple. During finals week, there are approximately 245812 people on the second floor of the library at any given time between, well, 12:00AM and 11:59 PM (so all day). The tension is high. Occasionally, people try to do ridiculous things to break that tension, but streaking has been pretty played out and I feel like it is time to get more creative. I think I know how.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The first pledge in question will bring at minimum one book and go to the library, where he will sit down in a chair or at a desk, but not far from a bit of open space (the reason for this will become clear) and begin to read. Did I mention that the pledge will be wearing full hockey pads, including roller blades, gloves and a stick? Because he will be. That is probably worth mentioning. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">People will glance, but ultimately ignore the getup (students’ capacity to ignore weird shit goes through the roof for finals week) and return to their books after a few minutes. Around the time that people stop paying attention to the fact that there is a dude wearing a helmet and shoulder pads (probably 4 or 5 minutes after he sits down), the action begins. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Another pledge, also in full gear, skates up to the first. The first pledge puts down his book, and stands to face the pledge. They exchange words. Then a small slash on the shin pads. Then a shove. By now there is an audience. You know what happens next. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Gloves come off, and they scrap. In the library. In full pads. A whistle blows, and two more pledges, also on skates, rush in, these ones wearing linesman jerseys. Once the fight is through, they break it up, pull the combatants apart, and skate them off in different directions. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It would be epic.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Not just epic. Legendary. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Unfortunately, I can’t make it happen. Firstly, because of the fact that I don’t have pledges that I can manipulate at the moment. Second of all, because my school is small enough, and uptight enough that the people involved would almost certainly be caught and punished. But that doesn't have to mean that I can’t see my dream in action.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">This has nothing to do with sports (it is no more than tangentially related, at least), and has no analytical value, newsworthiness or insight that these posts usually fail to achieve but at least try for most of the time, but I post it here for a reason.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">There are plenty of hockey players out there that are in fraternities, and while quarter system winter exams are passing (and only take place at a small percentage of schools in the first place), spring exams aren’t that far away. Plenty of these hockey players have pledges. And libraries. Even if you aren’t in a frat, your team has freshman, aka rookies that you can manipulate and charge around. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">To my OV Sports readership: You are small, but I have faith in you. Let’s make this happen. I have a dream. That one day, I will be able to go on YouTube, and watch a video of two college freshmen, slugging it out and being led away to a non-existent penalty box while people look up from their biology papers to watch. Because that would be badass. So please. Send this to your friends. Post it on message boards. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Let’s get the word out. Let’s make it happen.</div>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-16161723066384295182011-03-16T00:21:00.000-07:002011-03-16T23:48:15.395-07:00All Things Hockey; Insanity Edition<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHrovQUQ_LlLPLFex0NYN_5MYc7pt259-647kXNwXh3KKWsa5-eCe-mArs1quMU9T5vXuy9XrxfpQAWyFXzLv68NtETiQ1i6tqmp6faTEGX31s5c7_xj3tTHR4meTVih43VNOI8zepAsSJ/s1600/canadiens+fans+rowdy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHrovQUQ_LlLPLFex0NYN_5MYc7pt259-647kXNwXh3KKWsa5-eCe-mArs1quMU9T5vXuy9XrxfpQAWyFXzLv68NtETiQ1i6tqmp6faTEGX31s5c7_xj3tTHR4meTVih43VNOI8zepAsSJ/s400/canadiens+fans+rowdy.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Montreal has lost it's damn mind.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">First things first, I took care of the deadline nonsense <a href="http://ovsports.blogspot.com/2011/02/trade-flatline-2011.html">here</a></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">, so if you want to know what I thought about all of that (and you know that you TOTALLY do), check that out. We are going to steer away from it right now, though. Instead, we are going to keep it on the rink, and go around the league to other areas because holy hell, has there been a lot to get to since last time. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The Trial of Zedeno Chara<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">There was actually some hockey news that doesn’t have anything to do with insane people this week, although it seems to have brought out quite a bit of insanity from hockey’s media and fans. By that I refer to the Zdeno Chara hit on Max Pacioretty that created a truly scary situation in Montreal, and became one of the more polarizing plays in the NHL this season. If you didn’t see it (you probably aren’t reading this, but…) Chara rode Pacioretty into the divider, where Pacioretty slammed his head. The blow knocked him unconscious and had him on the ice for about 7 minutes before he was carted off, with the remaining 15 seconds being run off of the second period. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jimZ1tSdPY0">Video is here</a>. Gnarly stuff, to say the least. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">First and foremost, the obvious: It doesn’t matter if you are a Habs fan, a Bruins or Maple Leafs fan, or anywhere in between. I’m sure I join just about everyone in hoping that my fellow prep-schooler Pacioretty is back on the ice soon, and without lasting consequence. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Having said that, I can’t put too much blame on Chara. I have no problem with him grabbing a 5 minute major, simply based on the outcome of the hit, but there is no reason that he should be suspended, and the seams severe if you look only at what Chara did, and not the outcome. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Now, there are a number of things that Chara did here. The first is something that he is at fault for. The play is clearly interference. He was flagrantly obstructing Pacioretty’s path to the puck, and for that he clearly deserved a 2 minute penalty. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The second thing that Chara did was more of a gray area. From what I have seen from the hit (‘my two cents’ seems to be the term that every single hockey writer is using in assessing Chara’s intent), his intentions were clear. Chara had every intention of trying to flip Pacioretty over the boards and into the bench. It is a play that goes beyond a simple rub out, but isn’t dirty or illegal. In fact, it happens on pretty much every hit along the benches. The difference on this one was that Pacioretty was doing what he was supposed to, and keeping his feet moving to try to get through the check. From there, it turned freaky, and led to the horrific injury.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Finally, Chara made two mistakes long before the hit that will hurt him in the scrutiny of the play, even if they didn’t lead to suspension. The first was being 6’9”. It is a lot easier to assume that he was out to go after him, to make Chara look like a bully, than it would be if, say, Dan Boyle makes that play. Chara’s height probably didn’t lead directly to the hit, but I definitely think that it made it look a lot worse. The big goon picking on the smaller kid. The second, irreconcilable mistake was playing for the Bruins. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">This hurt him in the eye of public perception, first when people looked for a so called history. They found one, but it was, frankly malarkey. Guess what? The Bruins had played the Habs the week before. There were 182 PIMs. It was probably the game of the year (or was it…more on that in a sec). You want a history between two players on those two times? Just look. You’ll be able to find it. BUT ZOMG HE SLASHED HIM IN FRONT OF THE NET!!!! THAT NEVER HAPPENS! Yeah. You get my point. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Anyways, I’m done trying to get inside Chara’s head. What I’m more interested in at this point is that following the lack of a suspension, the hockey world, especially the French speaking part, lost its damn mind. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Pacioretti said the hit was dirty. The Molson family released a letter. Air Canada was taking a stand! They won’t stand for violence in hockey. THE FREAKING AUTHORITIES GOT INVOLVED! Protests were organized on facebook (because what starts in Cairo inevitably finds its way to the NHL). To them, I say this:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Please. This got so absurd, so fast. I could show you 50 hits in the last month that were dirtier than the one on Pacioretty. None of them were protested. Pacioretty was the distributer in a couple of them. No sponsorships were pulled. Montreal: you are a proud and great hockey city. The passion is what makes the town great. But be reasonable. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">It was a hockey play gone horribly wrong. No one wants to see the sort of thing that happened to Pacioretty. Yes, Chara didn’t really <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">need</i> to finish the hit the way he did. But let’s not exploit this injury in such a partisan way. It is an unfortunate situation and a regrettable play, but we need to stop making it more than it is.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Trevor Gillies Can Go to Hell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Whether we would like to admit it or not, the fact is that there will always be a certain level of goonary in the game of hockey. It is a sport in which physically punishing an opponent is, in most situations, encouraged. It is a sport in which intensity is without a doubt a virtue. It is a sport that preaches sticking up for teammates. It is a sport that holds toughness up with savvy and athleticism as a core virtue. All of those things can easily spill over into something that hockey players and fans would rather not see. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The key concept there is that it can <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">spill over.</i> That is acceptable, even if it is discouraged, and would be best to be avoided. There is a key difference between a spill over and a pattern of behavior. With Gillies, it is the latter. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">On its own, the things that Trevor Gillies are certainly repulsive. His was a clear attempt to hurt Clutterbuck, after a clear attempt to decapitate and subsequently speedbag Eric Tangradi (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8_C73cyvLo">who has a knack for getting involved in incidents that, uh, fire me up, shall we say</a>- HOW ABOUT MENTIONING THAT THE CANADIANS WERE GOING DOWN THE AMERICAN’S BENCH TAUNTING THEM PIERRE. HEY CANUCKS? TWEN-TY-TEN! TWEN-TY-TEN! Yes, I am still bitter). His antics have been ugly, without a doubt, as you would expect with anyone who has been suspended for double digit games without reaching double digits in ice time. It is the fact that Gillies has made it this far, and that he has been given the opportunity to bring his tomfoolery this far in professional hockey that upsets me though. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Gillies is on the Islanders roster for one reason, and one reason alone. To goon it up. He isn’t a hockey player. He is a sideshow. He is a disgrace. There are plenty of goons in the NHL, and most of them I have no problem with. Most of them, though, have a semblance of hockey talent. Not Gillies. Gillies played 156 games across 3 seasons in the OHL. In that time span, his production added up to a meager 22 points (by way of contrast, fellow enforcers’ Jody Shelly’s Q career saw 98 points in 181 games, Cam Janssen managed 59 in 174 games in the O, and Paul Bissonnette notched 66 in 197, as a defenseman). Gillies was a sideshow in Junior, and yet he was able to move on.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">His production was no more impressive in minor pro. His career high was 7 points in the ECHL. He had 7 goals across a decade in the AHL. He isn’t a prospect. This dude was undrafted and has been bouncing around the minors forever. And yet, here he is, playing in the NHL. The Islanders don’t even need him to protect youngsters like Jonathan Tavares or Kyle Okposo. Zenon Konopka fills that role just fine. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Obviously, it isn’t the place of the NHL to tell Garth Snow that he can’t employ Gillies in the NHL ranks if he so chooses. That isn’t to say that it wouldn’t be nice if they did. A player like Gillies fills no role of consequence other than one that needs to be removed. I’m all for fighting, but if you can’t get on board with the way that 99% of the guys in the league do it, there is no place for that sort of stuff.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The Wisdom of Sheen<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">For the most part, I try to steer clear of tabloid type celebrity news. While I am usually successful, I have completely failed to miss the whole Charlie Sheen circus, and I have been entirely sucked in by it. Frankly, sheen is just so <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">perfectly </i>crazy. He has mastered the art of insanity. That is especially impressive, considering it wasn’t even an art before. He turned losing your mind into an art, and then instantly perfected that art. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The problem is, as great as his quotes have been, and they have been <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">really freaking great</i>, he actually plagerized most of those interviews. Most of what he said, amazingly, was taken directly from things that have been said by, or about NHL players. It’s true. It doesn’t make the interviews less…outstanding, but it needs to be known. Here are a few examples.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">”I am on a drug. It is called Charlie Sheen. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over you exploded body.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">This was said by Doug Murray. It needs almost no explanation. When asked if he was on PEDs, this is what Murray responded with, replacing ‘Charlie Sheen’ with his own name. No one quite knew what to make of the quote, but three things allowed them to go with it. First was that Doug Murray is the seventeenth smartest professional athlete in America, and so they just assumed that they couldn’t comprehend the wisdom of his words. Given this, the more philosophical reporters went to ponder the meaning of the quote. Second is that ‘Douglas Murray’ kind of sounds like a PED that Douglas Murray had invented, and anyone who has seen Douglas Murray would believe that he could be on a PED, because of his size. This is not the case, but the more gullible reporters left satiated, assuming that Murray was on an undetectable PED. The remaining reporters had no idea what Murray was talking about, but understood that when a 260 pound Swede who looks like he could play an ax murderer in a horror movie tells you that he is on something that will cause your face to melt, you get the hell out of his vicinity. So the remaining cowardly reporters left Murray in fear. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">“I don't have time for their judgment and their stupidity and you know they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and look at their loser lives and then they look at me and they say, 'I can't process it' well, no, you never will stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show. You know?”<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Oddly enough, this was said by mediocre Swedish defenseman Nicklas Grossman. It was in response to a question about failing to clear the puck in the second period of a November loss to the Ducks. No one was quite sure what he meant by it, or why he was so condescending. It was quite out of character, but Grossman did fire Adam Burrish as his translator the next day. It is unknown if the incidents are related. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="body"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="body"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">“I'm sorry, man, but I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time - and this includes naps - I'm an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.”</span></i></span><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
<br />
<span class="apple-style-span">This was said by chronic danglitis victim Pavel Datsyuk. Sheen changed this too. Datsyuk referenced the Russian AN-24, but Sheen Americanized it. In fairness, Datsyuk does, indeed, have poetry in his fingertips (a poorly translated Russian expression for ‘wet mitts’).<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">“I’m tired of pretending I’m not a totally bitchin rock star from Mars”<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Said by Corey Perry. He was mistaken about the totally bitchin rockstar part, but being from Mars does explain his appearance. </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Calm before the Bore-m<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">As I write this on March 8<sup>th</sup>, there are 115 days between now and the start of free agency on July 1<sup>st</sup>. Between now and then, we have the playoff push, the playoffs, the finals, the NHL awards and the NHL Draft. All of that is between us and free agency.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">And yet, just thinking about it, I am already bored. What’s that? You thought that the trade deadline was bad? You have <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">no idea.</i> Get ready. This year’s free agency is going to make this year’s trade deadline look effing EPIC by comparison. It will make Boyes for a second round pick look like Lindros for Forsberg. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">This is, without question, the worst free agency class that I can remember. Brad Richards is the prize. Not bad. What is the second highest contract coming off the books after that at center, though? Micahel Nylander baby! Anyone want a washed up second/third line center? Set your google alerts now!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">/(falls asleep for 15 minutes from sheer boredom)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">/coming to…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Holy crap. The Tour d’France better be good this year. That or we will need some sort of early baseball intrigue. Otherwise July is going to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">brutal</i>. The league needs to mandate that Ryan Kessler’s and Mike Richards’s contracts expire at the end of the season just so that people don’t forget that hockey freaking exists. (It is for the good of the league, Flyers and Canucks fans! Don’t you care about the game?)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Thankfully, that is about four months away, and there will be plenty excitement between now and then, but don’t say that I didn’t warn you. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Reebokulous<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Reebok’s deal with the AHL, in which they players are required to use Reebok sticks, may in fact be one of the worst contracts in sports. It is certainly one of the most pointless corporate partnerships. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">This was made obvious a second ago, when you read that sentence, and likely said something along the lines of ‘wait, AHLers have to use Reebok sticks?’ Yes, yes they do. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Now, it may not seem like bad marketing, getting your product in the hands of every player in the league. The AHL may not attract too many millions of viewers, but it isn’t an inconsequential number, either. The problem is, of the people who watch the AHL, I would guess that almost none of them notice that Reebok seems to be the stick of choice. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: normal;">Just as bad as that, is the fact that those who have taken note likely know about the contract. If people know that there is a deal in place, that makes it go from nearly pointless to entirely pointless. After all, what do I care if my favorite Peoria Rivermen forward (it’s totally Graham Mink) or if my favorite Toronto Marlies defenseman (either Jeff Finger or Korbinian Holzer) is rocking the 9K danglerod if I know that it is league </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">mandated.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">It isn't an endorsement of the stick, just a league rule.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Like wearing a Reebok jersey.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">It is a lose-lose, too. The players can’t be particularly happy about being told what stick they have to use. Don’t get me wrong, free is free. But most of these guys have been getting free twigs from their junior and college teams for years. It makes no difference to them if the team is buing the sticks or if the company is providing them as an endorsement. Luckily, these days is right at the edge of the curve (PUN INTENDED! PUN INTENDED!), but a couple of years ago, when the Stealth CNT came out, I for one wouldn’t have been particularly pleased about having to use a 9k instead.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Presumably, the league doesn’t do this for nothing. Reebok is almost definitely paying something, at least in the form of products, in order to entice the league to honor the agreement. I couldn’t find out what it is exactly, but I know one thing. Whatever it is, it is too much, because the deal is a no win situation.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">What People Would Say if they Cared About the Sharks<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Peter King<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">1. Gamer, Patrick Marleau, you are one. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">2. That overtime goal the other night, my that was a thing of beauty.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">a. Marleau beat the Preds to force a 2-1, then went<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">b. bar down to beat Rinne and give the Sharks the win.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">i. What a player. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Drew Magary<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I had to give up free Sharks tickets the other night. And for school. It was AGONY. May have been the hardest thing that I have had to do in a while (although that is mostly because my life is ridiculously easy). My buddy has four season tickets, and he offered them to me for the Predators game last week. I immediately accepted and started trying to find people to go with. Unfortionately, it was the week before finals, and everyone was busy. This reminded me that I, too, had a massive group paper due the next day, and that it would be extremely irresponsible to blow it off for an NHL game. Normally, I would have said screw it, and gone to the game, cramming late night to get the school work done (what I did two days later after the Vancouver game), but having no one to go with, in addition to the group commitment, decided against it, and ended up refusing the tickets. It was the right thing to do, but I died a little bit inside when I had to say no. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><b>(upcoming games)<o:p></o:p></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">San Jose - Minnesota<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I also missed the second half of the Chicago game because I had an exam. It isn’t like I would have wanted to see that portion anyways, but in principle, I’m pissed. My point? Never go to college. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/WATCH?V=QYX7YG0RSFY">ASHER ROTH</a> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">IS FULL OF SHIT. Sure, you will make way less money, be less educated, and probably miss out on some of the best times of your life, but you will have way more time to watch regular season hockey.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">San Jose – St. Louis<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">So far, the Johnson-Stewart trade is looking pretty good for both sides. You know, as good as it can be for two teams that had virtually no chance of making the post-season. Since I have nothing more to add about the Blues, this seems like a good time to mention that I am taking a cruel pleasure in the NBA and NFL labor situations. YOU LAUGHED AT US. NOW IT’S YOUR TURN. H</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">OW DOES IT FEEL? NOT LAUGING NOW, EH? Seriously, though, I’m going to miss football.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">San Jose – Calgary<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I’m the least productive library-goer ever. I go for 3 hours and study for maybe 90 minutes. Facebook, TFM, Deadspin, whatever. If it can be used for procrastination, I’m on it. It is pathetic. Must be how Jay Boewmeister with his 15 points in 25 minutes a game feels BOOM. ROASTED.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Don Cherry<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I don’t know how many times I have said it. Look at the kid Vlasic’s stick. You watch the game, and the announcers say it over and over. Pass broken up by Vlasic. Good stick by Vlasic. It is always moving, It is always in a lane. One of the best. In. The. League. In that area. Watch the video (video of Vlasic skating that has almost nothing to do with the point). That’s the wrong one. Do we have the other Vlasic video? (Condescending look at Ron McLean). Oh well. ATTA BOY MARC.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Me (One note I couldn’t make into an impression)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The best thing about going to Santa Clara University is unquestionably the fact that it is located less than 5 miles from HP Pavilion, the home of the Sharks. While that isn’t actually true, because the best part is actually the girls (not kidding about that. It is insane. I have a buddy with whom I refer to this place as 8.5 U. It is a miracle that anything ever gets done here, every other girl I see would be top 5 in my high school, but I digress), it is pretty sweet being able to hit up Sharks games pretty much whenever I want to buy tickets. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">That point was driven home last Thursday when I made it to the Vancouver-San Jose barn burner. My brother was in town, and so was the number one team in the NHL. Translation? Drop what you are doing. Throw down whatever is necessary on stubhub. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">It could not have been more worth it. The energy in the building was insane. It built up across the entire third as the Sharks controlled play trying to even the game at 3. By the time Mitchell scored his beauty to tie it, the fans were cheering loudly for every San Jose rush. The roof came off when he tucked it, and again when Clowe tied the game. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">On the ice, it could have been the game of the year. The level of play was crazy. The two hottest, and maybe the two best teams in the league going at it. I went through it the next morning, and thought that everyone in the Sharks lineup had at least a solid game, and they <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">lost. </i>The arc of the game was great as well. Sharks battle back from 2-0. Sharks tie it late, then seemingly blow it. Tie it up again. Save of the year (maybe) by Schneider in OT. Normally, I love the shootout, but that night I was actually disappointed to see it come. I wished the teams could keep going. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I had to come back and go to the library until 2 in the morning, a little buzzed, to make up for the time I had spent in the Pavilion, but it was well worth it for perhaps the best hockey game I have been able to see in person. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Music Rant of the Week<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I am borrowing this from the football column because I miss ranting semi-unintelligibly about music every week, and because we need to lengthen these posts up (Google friendly!). <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Hey, alt-rock?</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">IT IS ABOUT GD TIME.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">The last exciting alternative rock/post grunge style album was, what, 3 years ago?</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Obviously, I am exaggerating, but racking my brain, the last truly worthwhile (Foo Fighters, Rise Against style) alt-rock album could well have been Appeal to Reason (Rise Against).</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">That was released in 2008.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">I know that there has been a recession, but Jesus.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">That is like 3 years ago.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Granted, that </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">isn't</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"> exactly scientific evidence, but any fan of the genre would have to admit that it has been a fairly severe lull.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">My hopes are up though, because it could be over. Rise Against’s Endgame came out this week. The Foo Fighters’ Wasting Light is coming in April. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dreaming in Black and White </i>by Trust Company dropped last Tuesday. Even Sum 41 has a new album out. I’m not even mad that the Foo Fighters’ single, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Rope</i>, was a piece of shit. I’m still pumped. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Here’s the thing: my $12 or whatever on iTunes is super available. I am very much down to pay for a good album. But I have been using <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mediafire</i> a LOT lately. Why? There has been nothing that I can justify paying for. Please, blow my bank account. It is about time.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Shorter Hockey Thoughts<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">- Poor job by NHL.com choosing the top shootout goals. To include the Bouchard and the Blake spinning goals, and not the Grabovski full spin (way more badass) was dumb. The spin is run of the mill. Anyone in the league could do it. Grabo’s was wet, going all the way around and still getting the puck up.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> - Last time, I wrote that I thought Taylor Hall might be starting to figure out his game in the NHL. I no longer think this. I am completely sure of it. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">- Wrote the above the day before Hall was shut down for the year, or Strasburged, as I call it. Damn. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">- The NHL Center Ice commercials are stupid (although I like the fact that I get to go'<i>hey, I was at that game' </i>to anyone within earshot when they show the Parise goal). Why would I stand on my feet in Los Angles for Luongo? Luongo played the Kings in the playoffs like 2 years ago. Am I standing in anger? That would make a little more sense. If so, they should specify. No I'm not cheering for Crosby in Denver. I'm cheering for Duchene. That's a dumb question. Those make no sense. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">- Wow. I guess the Ducks like Luca Sbisa…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">- I think that Eric Johnson may be the kind of guy that needs to be seen in person to be appreciated. He had never stood out on TV, but I saw the Aves play the Sharks at HP a couple of days after the trade and he really stood out. Everything that you want from a number 1 D-man. Rock solid in his own end. Unending ice time. Always starting the rush (on TV, you watch the puck and notice the forwards entering the zone whereas in person the guy who makes the first pass stands out more). A really impressive player.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">(And now from the ‘complete and utter BS’ file)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">- The University of British Columbia is trying to gain admittance to the NWC. That would make them a Division II NCAA school. To that I say this: AH, HELL NO! This is a full scale invasion of the Pacific Northwest by a hostile Canadian entity and should be treated with the utmost urgency. By that I mean military action. I think that a proportional response from the United States government would be to seize all of Vancouver Island until they drop their demands. We can’t let these Canadian extremists have their way.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">- In all seriousness, I would actually be in favor of UBC coming to the NCAA. If for no other reason than…why not?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">- My frat has a JI named Mac. He is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">easily</i> my favorite JI to greet, mainly because it allows me to do my impression of Rizzo in the bar scene of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Miracle</i>. My point? Uh…<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Miracle</i> is sick? I guess? Also, said bar scene? Not on YouTube. Get on that internet.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">- I want to go on record, and say that <a href="http://twitter.com/Logancouture/status/45215806132457472">I understand</a> , <a href="http://twitter.com/Logancouture/status/44654125861961729">Logan Couture</a>. If I were a professional athlete and people, you know, gave a shit, I would absolutely <a href="http://twitter.com/Logancouture/status/44500274970238976">tweet</a></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/Logancouture/status/46256698712793088">Drake</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Logancouture/status/45403744061501440">lyrics</a></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> <a href="http://twitter.com/Logancouture/status/18475587731456000">all day</a>. I am dead serious. I would do this CONSTANTLY. Why? BECAUSE DRAKE GOT HIM FIRE ASS RHYMES FOR DAYS, SON. That’s why. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">- You were wondering what my first Drake tweet would be, weren’t you? You totally were. You’re in luck too. My first Drake tweet would definitely be from ‘Thank Me Know.’ It would be ‘I can relate to kids going straight to the league when they recognize you got what it takes to succeed’ ‘and that’s about the time that your idols become your rivals, you make friends with mike but gotta AI him for your survival.’ It would be a two parter. Well worth it. RHYMES FOR DAYS.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">- My buddy says I look like a goon wearing a wife beater to the library. I say the joke is on him. It isn’t like I’m morbidly obese or anyting, and it is like 125 degrees in there during finals. Even if it does look dumb, I would rather look like a goon than break a literal sweat (as opposed to a mental one) trying to learn about managerial economics.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">- Finals week beard? Finals week beard.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">- CROSBYSKATED!CROSBYSKATEDCROSBYSKATED! HESKATEDHESKATED! CROSBYSKATED!CROSBYSKATEDCROSBYSKATED! CROSBY SKATED! CROSBYSKATED!CROSBYSKATEDCROSBYSKATED! HESCOMINGBACK! CROSBYSKATED!CROSBYSKATEDCROSBYSKATED! CROSBYSKATED!CROSBYSKATEDCROSBYSKATED!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Retweet of the Week<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Kevin Wildes, @KevinWildes, of BS Report fame (fame used loosely of course): “<span class="apple-style-span">Also breaking- Brett Favre has changed his name to "Tiki Barber" RT@</span></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><a href="http://twitter.com/AdamSchefter"><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">AdamSchefter</span></a></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Tiki Barber filed papers to come out of retirement.”</span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Goal of the Week<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Tori Mitchell goes coast to coast to tie up the game of the year, for my money, not that I’m bias or anything but I WAS TOTALLY THERE!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ZrMTkf7k9Xw" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe></span></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I couldn’t snub Torrey on that one. That goal was legitimately nasty. Having said that, Chris Stewart’s OT winner was better. Here it is.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: right 6.5in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Save of the Week<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: right 6.5in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: right 6.5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The afformentioned Schneider stab. Unreal.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: right 6.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" height="383" id="embed" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://nhl.cdn.neulion.net/u/videocenter/embed.swf" /><param name="quality" value="high" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="flashVars" value="hlp=8470299&event=WSH229&server=http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/&pageurl=http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/&nlwa=http://app2.neulion.com/videocenter/nhl/" /><embed name="embed" pluginspage="http://www.adobe.com/go/getflashplayer" src="http://nhl.cdn.neulion.net/u/videocenter/embed.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="640" height="383" quality="high" allowFullScreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" flashVars="hlp=8470299&event=WSH229&server=http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/&pageurl=http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/&nlwa=http://app2.neulion.com/videocenter/nhl/"></embed></object></span></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Pass of the Week<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Gotta go with Ryan Callahan’s no looker to Eric Christensen. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" height="383" id="embed" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://nhl.cdn.neulion.net/u/videocenter/embed.swf" /><param name="quality" value="high" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="flashVars" value="hlp=8470299&event=WSH229&server=http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/&pageurl=http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/&nlwa=http://app2.neulion.com/videocenter/nhl/" /><embed name="embed" pluginspage="http://www.adobe.com/go/getflashplayer" src="http://nhl.cdn.neulion.net/u/videocenter/embed.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="640" height="383" quality="high" allowFullScreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" flashVars="hlp=8470299&event=WSH229&server=http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/&pageurl=http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/&nlwa=http://app2.neulion.com/videocenter/nhl/"></embed></object></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Hit of the Week<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">In light of the recent concussion issues that the Natonal Hockey League has been attempting to remedy, I think that it would only be appropriate to discontinue the ‘Hit of the Week’ feature on All Things Hockey. Such a feature encourages reckless and violent play. No one wins when a hit goes beyond gently separating the puck from the carrier. Even that should be done with the utmost caution. The defender should ask politely first, and only resort to physical contact if absolutely necessary. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">BAH! I’mkiddingimkiddingimkidding. Jesus, can you imagine? That would make me such a blowhard. And a bitch. I had you till ‘should ask politely first, though, didn’t I? Here’s Colby Armstrong putting his shoulder through Micheal Haley’s skull.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/pNqx3J6-hqw" title="YouTube video player" width="425"></iframe></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Fight of the Weeks<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">This Cam Janssen – Jordin Tootoo marathon was an absolute brawl. Good stuff.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/DYtqUCyKtkU" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Top 8 Bottom Eight<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">On the Down<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">23. St. Louis – John Davidson needs to decide what his core is and blow up the rest of this ship.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">24. Florida – I have literally nothing to say about the Panthers. Sorry.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">25. New York Islanders – Looked frisky for a couple of weeks, but they haven’t made much headway in the east.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">26. Atlanta - Dustin Byfugdlein would make a savvy investor. Talk about cashing in your chips.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">27. Columbus - They are way higher than 27<sup>th</sup> in the standings (20<sup>th</sup>) but they get negative bonus points for being a painfully boring team if you take away Rick Nash.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">28. Ottawa - Why would you get better and older by adding Craig Anderson at the same time you firebombed your roster?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">29. Edmonton - Screw it, another high draft pick can’t be that bad of a thing, can it?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">30. Colorado – Last year was premature. They’ll be back soon enough.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">On the Up<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">8. Los Angeles- Back in this thing after a couple of months where they appeared to be struggling.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">7. Boston – Got way better at the deadline.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">6. Pittsburgh – Impressive run, but they are going nowhere without Crosby and Malkin.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">5. Detroit – Wait, Lidstrom ranks where in D scoring?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">4. San Jose – Would have been 1 about a week ago. Still, exciting the way they are coming together.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">3. Philadelphia – Depth is so scarry.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">2. Washington – Don’t look now, but 8 is heating up.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">1. Vancouver – Scary good. The team to beat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-82197600126532499642011-02-28T23:56:00.000-08:002011-03-01T00:05:31.571-08:00Trade Flatline 2011<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">So, a crazy February in the National Hockey League went out with a fizzle on a deadline day that can only be described as boring (okay, that’s a lie. It could also be described as lackluster. Or disappointing for trade fans. Or quiet. Or low 60s and sunny in Santa Clara, California. But you get the idea). Disappointing as a 13 deal day that was headlined by the likes of Dustin Penner and Dennis Wideman may be, it was actually a fairly busy trade season, a fact obscured by the time that it was spread across. Consider the names on the move since January 1<sup>st</sup>:<o:p></o:p></span></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://sharkspage.com/galleries/2007_sharks_anaheimducks2/images/sharks_ducks4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://sharkspage.com/galleries/2007_sharks_anaheimducks2/images/sharks_ducks4.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dustin Penner will have plenty of chances to kick Ryan Getzlaf <br />
in the face, now that he is back in the Pacific Division.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Jason Arnott <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">David Steckel<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Dustin Penner<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Sergei Sampsonov<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Bryan Allen<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Brad Winchester<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Chris Campoli<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Scottie Upshall<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Sami Lepisto<br />
Rotislav Klesla<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Dennis Wideman<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Radek Dvorak<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Niclas Bergfors<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">John Mitchell<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Fredrik Modin<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Chris Higgins<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Maxim Lapierre<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Brad Boyes<o:p></o:p></span></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://dailycontributor.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/bar-refaeli-sports-illustrated-swimsuit-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="217" src="http://dailycontributor.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/bar-refaeli-sports-illustrated-swimsuit-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There was a lot of empty space here. Bar Refaeli is still hot.<br />
Also it was super awkward, looking for this picture while in the library.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Brett Festerling<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Brian McGrattan<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Bryan McCabe<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Tim Kennedy<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Alex Sulzer<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Dan Ellis<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Curtis McElhinny<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Alexei Kovalev<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Brent Sopel <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Nigel Dawes<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Cory Stillman<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Ryan Carter<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Alex Goligoski<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">James Neal<o:p></o:p></span></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br />
<a href="http://gossip.whyfame.com/files/2010/03/charlie_sheen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://gossip.whyfame.com/files/2010/03/charlie_sheen.jpg" width="143" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pictured: bi-winning (best. quote. ever.)</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Matt Niskanen<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Eric Johnson<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Jay McClement<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Chris Stewart<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Kevin Shattenkirk<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Tomas Kaberle<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Blake Wheeler<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Mark Stuart<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Rich Peverly <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Craig Anderson<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Brian Elliot<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Derek Joslin<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Ian White<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.tdbimg.com/files/2011/02/17/img-110217-the-office-michael-scott-movie-120_214718561526.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://www.tdbimg.com/files/2011/02/17/img-110217-the-office-michael-scott-movie-120_214718561526.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Michael Scott wears white 9k RBK skates. Nice.<br />
(Hey, look, I don't have to fill anymore space!)</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Eric Brewer<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Jarkko Ruutu<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Paul Mara<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Chris Kelly<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Aaron Voros<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Kris Versteeg<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Mike Fisher<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Francois Beauchemin<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Joffrey Lupul <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Michael Frolik<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Jack Skille<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Ben Eager<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Michael Rozsival<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Wojtek Wolski<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Jamie Langenbrunner<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Ty Wishart<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Dwayne Roloson<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">That is 63 names, all of regular NHLers, all of whom changed address this year. None of them are stars along the lines of an Ilya Kovalchuk or a Marian Hossa, certainly. Still, though, let’s look at this on the Jackson Morgus 5 BOOM rating system (simply put, 0 BOOMs is a minor leaguer, 1 BOOM is a border line 4<sup>th</sup> liner/6<sup>th</sup> d-man, 2 BOOMs is a role guy, 3 BOOMs is a regular 2<sup>nd</sup>/3<sup>rd</sup> liner, 4 BOOMs is a 1<sup>st</sup> liner/potential star and 5 BOOMs is a superstar- the JM5BRS was originally a 5 star system, but BOOMs are way more badass).<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">There were no 5 star guys, but there were 13 4 BOOM guys. That sounds like a lot. There were also four guys that got a 3.5 BOOM rating, which is, without any doubt, almost 4 BOOMs. There were 20 guys that got a 3 BOOM rating, which is almost definitely average, two guys got a 2.5 because I am a pretty indecisive person like that, and there were 13 2 BOOM guys, who aren’t as good, presumably, as the four BOOM level players, or the five BOOM players (of which there are none). Finally, there are 2 guys that got just one BOOM, and they definitely need to pick their game up. That’s probably why they got traded (a combination of that and an inability to use waivers on the part of the teams that traded for Chris McGratton and Aaron Voros). There aren't any zero BOOM guys, which begs the question of why I bothered to define what a zero BOOM player would be in the first place.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">At this point, you are probably noticing that that is pretty good. Or maybe you are thinking that it is pretty bad. Maybe you are completely confused. I know I am. I hope that you aren’t thinking about how I listed 63 players, but the BOOMs only add up to 54, but you would have every right to, since they do (and I am too lazy to go back and figure out how I messed up, especially when it is easier to blame it on my brain being toasted from partial derivatives and future value equations- damn you economics). Still, though, my original point was to prove that there were a number of good players traded, and while the fact that that system was 100% arbitrary and completely confusing made it so that I didn’t end up making that point, I have completely forgotten where I was going with this. But what are you going to do? Win some lose some, I suppose. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">By now, I have digressed so far, and so nonsensically, that it would be more or less completely pointless to attempt to return to the trade deadline. On the other hand, this blog is nothing if not almost completely pointless, so let’s do just that. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">The biggest name in the group moving on deadline day would have to be Dustin Penner.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Penner is a good player, but this move doesn’t make sense to me.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">The Kings have guys like Andrei Loktionov (productive in limited time in LA this year), Brayden Schenn (Canada's best player, in my oppinion, in Buffalo), Maxim Kitsyn (a Russian tearing it up for </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Mississauga</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">), Tyler Toffoli (another World Junior defenseman, one of the best in the O this year), Brandon Kozun (a hometown product, yet another world juniors guy for Canada, and a Tyler Myers level traitor...LOS ANGELES IS NOT IN CANADA, BRANDON. Clearly we need better public schools) and Derek Forbert (yet another World Juniors guy, one who knows what country he is from) coming through the pipeline to add to a promising young core of Jack Johnson (24), Drew Doughty (21), Jon Quick (22), Anze Kopitar (2freaking3), Wayne Simmonds (22), and Dustin Brown (26) (as a Sharks fan, I just threw up a little bit in my mouth), this team’s time is in 3-5 years from now.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: normal;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Trading away a World Junior caliber defenseman with a first round pick makes little to no sense to me.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">It is taking nothing away from Penner (only 28, admittedly), but I don’t see them as a team that is making a run this year, or next, even.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">They are scary down the road, so I’m not sure why they would want to get older (especially given that Teubert and the pick are likely to amount to at least as much as Penner).</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Other than that, there isn’t much to waste words on. Naturally, I will do just that. In no particular order:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Washington got a bit better with Sturm, Wideman and Arnott joining the squad. Only downer is Wideman’s -23. I’m not a plus minus believer, in general, but an aboration like that suggests that it is no accident. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">I was happy to see Patrick Rissmiller go to a place that he might crack a lineup. I had the same thoughts about Hugh Jessiman. Both went to Florida. Weird. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">The Sharks were probably right to realize that they had 13 of the last 15 reasons not to mess with what they have at the moment. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Kovalev has already made himself worth the conditional seventh rounder with that shootout laser the other night. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Brad Boyes is solid enough, although I’m not sure he justifies a second rounder.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">I still hate Maxim Lapierre, and I still hate the Ducks (especially Corey Perry), and am disappointed to see that I can’t hate them together anymore (although it may have been worth it to hear Michael Faber say that Lapierre can help if he ‘takes his clown hat off). <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Chris Higgins got traded. Chris Higgins went to Avon Old Farms, a school that hasn’t won the Founders League for at least two years, because KENT WENT BACK TO BACK, BABY.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Brian McCabe was a good, sneaky acquisition for an already deep New York blueline. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">I am incapable of listening <i><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpEpKHi-kRk">Son of a Preacher Man</a></i> in the library without looking foolish. I have earbuds in and my head is bobbing EXTREMELY rhythmically. God I love this song (sorry, just seeing if anyone is still paying attention. Sure, we can keep going).<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">The biggest moves (Goligoski/Neal, and Johnson/Shattenkirk) went down a couple of weeks ago, and I already commented.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">If I were Daniel Alfredsson, Milan Michalek, Chris Phillips or Jason Spezza, I would be </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">PISSED. That was a freaking fire sale. And they got nothing back. A conditional seventh rounder, a 6<sup>th</sup> rounder, Craig Anderson, a first rounder, a second rounder, Ryan Potulney and a conditional pick is not nearly enough in return for what amounts to the better part of the core of their team.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="http://twitter.com/#!/BizNasty2point0/status/42288228140728320">Mostly, though, I feel bad for my hero. Biz Nasty. The man lost his twitter wingman, and another regular on the feed in @ScottieUpshall and Sam Lepisto. PULL THROUGH BIG GUY.</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-7711942047245335952011-02-27T23:56:00.000-08:002011-02-27T23:56:48.697-08:00Return of the LinksFor your procrastinating pleasure, here are ten links that every hockey fan should have bookmarked. With finals coming up across the country (okay, just at schools like Santa Clara with nonsensical quarter systems), they should come in handy.<br />
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/jlaxhockey">1. JLaxHockey (YouTube Channel)</a><br />
I have no Idea who JLax is, nor do I care. What I do know, though, is that the man makes a damn fine hockey montage. Now, the last one, and consequently the one that is going to come up if you go to the link, is Corey Perry. I would like it to be perfectly clear that I do not endorse or approve of any thing Corey Perry related, but the channel is well worth while despite this recent contamination. If you like hockey, alt music, and awesome stuff in general, then check out JLax and you won't be disappointed.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://twitter.com/#!/nhlpa/activeplayers">2. NHLPA Twitter List</a><br />
If you still think Twitter is a useless medium for dumb people to tell their friends that they are <i>gettin lunch wit da homegirls lol #YUMMY!, </i>and therefore refuse to take part, it is pretty much your loss at this point. Personally, I find it entirely worth my time to know that Devin Setoguchi is bored by the Oscars, or to read Logan Couture tweet Drake lyrics. Also, #hashtagjokesarethebest. Seriously, though. I have started to use them in texts. They are that entertaining.<br />
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<a href="http://twitter.com/#!/biznasty2point0">3. Biz Nasty (Paul Bissonnette) on Twitter</a><br />
Yes, he is a fourth line duster for a pacific division rival. Yes, he is included in the NHLPA list. But Biz Nasty is awesome. Also, he is awesome. Thirdly, he is awesome, and finally, he is a<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">wesome. So he deserves his own link here. And that is exactly what he is going to get. Follow him. Now. Do it. You won't regret it.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">(Also, according to Google, the ultimate authority on everything, there are <span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;">6902682589 people in the world. According to Twitter, Biz has 49,332 followers. That means that there are 6902633257 people that don't follow him. Pathetic, world.)</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
4. Trade Trackers (<a href="http://espn.go.com/nhl/transactions">ESPN</a>, <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/news?slug=ys-nhl-trade-deadline-2011">YAHOO</a>, <a href="http://www.nhl.com/ice/page.htm?id=67765&intcmpid=nhln-button">NHL</a>)<br />
This time of year (for the next day, anyways), it is critical to have a page that you can constantly hit refresh on hoping that maybe, just maybe, this will be the time that the Sharks traded Wallin and Nichol for Brad Richards, or Keith Yandle, Brayden Schenn, or a 3rd rounder, or a $50 Southwest Airlines voucher, or a used puck bag, or the right to not have Scott Nichol and Nick Wallin anymore.<br />
<br />
5. <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/video/#/Sports/CBC's_Hockey_Night_in_Canada/Coach's_Corner">Coach's Corner</a><br />
Don Cherry is the very definition of a beaut. The guy has something interesting to say every week, and as crazy as he may be (or seem, at any rate) he is spot on more often than not. There isn't a guy in hockey, or any other sport for that matter, that does a better job of picking out nuances that will, at the very least, get you to think about the game, and start discussion as well.<br />
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That's all for now. Enjoy the chaos that will surely ensue with the deadline.Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-28921068143081300892011-02-23T00:26:00.000-08:002011-02-23T00:29:17.381-08:00All Things Hockey, 2010-2011 Edition 2<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">For the past couple of months, I have been extremely busy. Either that, or I have become extremely lazy (fine, lazier). Maybe both. Either way, I haven’t found the time to write, and this blog has been underperforming like a Russian drafted in the second half of the first round. Or Hugh Jessiman. Okay, not as bad as Hough Jessiman. But close. Either way, I need to step up my game. With that in mind, it is time to bring back All-Things-Hockey .<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">In the words of the one and only Biz-Nasty, ‘BOOM.’ Let’s get at it.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Getting Center Iced<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">About six weeks ago, I made a life changing decision. With midseason prices having just gone into effect, I did what I had wanted to do, really since moving into my house in July, and pulled the trigger on NHL Center Ice. Now, this mostly means that I watch games on my TV rather than my computer, and spend <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">all </i>of my free time watching hockey rather than <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">most </i>of my free time watching hockey, and it probably won’t have any long term ramifications whatsoever. Still, a change is a change, so that makes it a life changing decision. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Now, first things first. Facilitating CenterIce is, as far as I’m concerned, the main reason that we harnessed electricity, invented television, and launched a space program. There are probably things about living in 2011 that are better than being able to flip between 8 or 9 hockey games a night, but I’m not that interested in them. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Hold on, my point isn’t getting across. I’ll let Bruno Mars take it from here:</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/LjhCEhWiKXk" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">You get the idea. Anyways, I mentioned it last year, but there are certain nuances of having access to every NHL game. One is that you quickly learn which teams you find interesting and which you don’t based on which games you gravitate towards and which you click past. <a href="http://ovsports.blogspot.com/2009/12/all-things-hockey-december-6th-2009.html">I ranked teams based on this last year</a>. (Looking at that reminds me, I have CenterIce IN HD NOW! DirecTV is the greatest thing ever. It is pure awesomeness. Awesomeness in HD, that is.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">(For what it’s worth, in the 2010-2011 version of those rankings, Edmonton goes way up, Carolina goes up a little bit, Montreal is up, Tampa Bay jumps up and Boston goes towards the top. Atlanta, Buffalo Calgary, Columbus and Toronto were too high anyways, and Ottawa is now right near the bottom.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">One thing that develops not long after starting with the CenterIce package is a taste for certain announcing teams. Out of the 30 offered by the league, at least 10 to 15 will fade in to the background and not seem important. 5 or 6 will become favorites, another 5 or 6 will seem insufferable, and another 8-10 will inspire weaker emotions. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">For me, the favorites list looks like this:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Randy Hahn, Drew Ramenda (San Jose)</span></i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">: It is an interesting phenomenon. Everyone wants to defend their home guys. I have friends (Sharks fans) that will insist that Randy and Drew are, without exceptipon the best in the league, simply because they are the Sharks guys. I guess it makes sense, with them as the voice of the team that you watch night in and night out you become familiar and comfortable with them, and since you are on the same side, you are bound to agree more often than not. That phenomenon aside, though, Randy and Drew are enjoyable, and make the good list.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Jack Edwards and Andy Brickley (Boston)</span></i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">: These guys are, without a doubt, polarizing. There are plenty of people out there who can’t stand Edwards, but I for one love his antics. The dude is enthusiastic, and makes the game more interesting to watch. What more can you ask for? Of course, he is a giant homer, but it is a local broadcast, so I’m over it. Brickley also brings a lot to the table, as a knowledgale guy but also with one of the best voices in all of hockey (unless you hahpen tah find Bastuhn accents grating. Then you probably hate Brickley). Realistically, these two are my favorites. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Jim Houghson and Craig Simpson (National Broadcasts, Canada)- </span></i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Houghson used to be the guy in Vancouver, but has switched over to a role on Hockey Night in Canada. He probably has the best voice of any play by play guy in the league, and gets bonus points for being the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">a HOWITZER </i>guy from the NHL video games. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Joe Beninati and Craig Laughlin (Washington)- </span></i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Another polarizing pair, I personally like Beninati, and also like the fact that whenever I think of the last name of a Caps player, I think it in Beninati’s voice. That’s cool, because Beninati’s voice is pretty badass. Like those monster truck rally announcers, except on a human being.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">There are other guys that are good (St. Louis’s Darren Pang and Pittsburgh’s Paul Steigerwald among them), but those are the main ones that warrant mentioning. On the down side, Nashville’s guys are horrible, and I can’t stand Tyson Nash. Anyways, that’s about 400 words devoted to announcers, which is too many, so I won’t bother with more detail. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Anyways, CenterIce is awesome. It is completely overpriced ($120 for half the season? Are you kidding me) but well worth it. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">John Davidson Makes My Head Explode<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">This is going to come as a shock to you, but at 1 in the morning, college students across the United States and Canada frequently consume alcoholic beverages. Shocking, I know. I’ll give you a moment to recover.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">(ready?)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">This past Friday night I was actually partaking in this pastime myself, and when I got back to my house well after midnight, I saw something that suggested that I had not only partaken more than I had realized, but I had actually drank significantly more than I ever had in my life. It was the first time that the consumption of alcohol had caused me to hallucinate while staring at my computer screen.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Because there was no way that the Blues just traded Eric Johnson for Chris Stewart and Kevin Shattenkirk. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">That would never happen. But then I went to bed, surprised that I didn’t feel more off, and that I could even stand up, you know, because of the hallucinations, to sleep off what was clearly an insane level of intoxication.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">And then I woke up. And it was real. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">The absurdity of the trade aside, most of which comes from how little one could have seen it coming, the funnies thing about this trade is that everyone I talk to agrees that it was 100% a rip off, and completely lopsided. The funny thing is, people can’t agree on which side it was lopsided towards. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">For my money, I like what St. Louis got. Both Shattenkirk and Stewart looked like budding stars this year. Johnson may in fact be the best player in the deal, but the difference between him and Shatty-Ice is much less than that of Stewart and McClement. Adding Stewart is going to make the Blues, with Stewart, Oshie and Backes banging on the forecheck, a tough team to play against. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Quick Hits on the NHL Trades Thus Far<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">- What’s going on? Did they move the deadline up? It isn’t even the last week of February and the deals keep coming. I can’t complain, I love trades, but…damn.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">- Chris Neal just won the freaking lottery, if people are right in speculating that he will be put on Crosby’s wing. I’m pretty sure I could pick up at least 20 tucks a year playing with 87. Also, if I could play on his wing for 5 years, you could cut my right arm off with a rusty jigsaw in year 6 if that was part of the deal.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">- Versteeg’s numbers aren’t earthshattering, but he excels at the eyeball test. Kid just looks like a good player. Great pickup by Philly.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">- Mike Fisher to Nashville. Of course. Couldn’t help but laugh at that one. On the other hand, he can be a star in that town because of the non-hockey related name recognition, and since he is a good player, it makes it a worthwhile deal for the Preds.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">- As Peter King and his complete misunderstanding of syntax might say, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">contenders, Boston, you are one. </i>Kaberle makes that blueline potent. Picking up Kelly also gives them ridiculous center depth. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">- 2 Goligoski notes: First of all, the dude is clearly a good, young defenseman, but he is getting a lot of love that I don’t remember being there before since this trade. Also, this means Seto is staying put in San Jose, I would say. Pittsburgh was the perfect place for that deal, and Goligoski was the target (even if it wasn;t it was definitely a defenseman, and the Pens aren’t about to ship out two). So let’s put the Seto on the move rumors away. I’m sure they will be back next year but we’re good for now.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">INTERMISSION<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">My dad thinks that these are way too long. I want to help him out so that he can actually get through this, but I am on pace for like 8000 words right now. Since I don’t want to actually have to proofread and cut the fat (besides, this is all PRICELESS INFORMATION that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">needs</i> to be shared with the world), I am going to compromise, and throw in random hockey related YouTube videos that I enjoyed. Don’t say I never did anything for you.</span></div><div style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/_nBpPhm-xEQ" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://watch.tsn.ca/thats-hockey/clip408550#clip408550">http://watch.tsn.ca/thats-hockey/clip408550#clip408550</a> (sorry, can’t embed)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Taking it Outside<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Is it just me, or has the hockey been a little bit obsessed with this whole outdoor game thing? Obviously the Winter Classic has become the signature event of the NHL’s regular season, and understandably so. Even after four editions, it is still a visual wonderland that is worth tuning in for whether you are a hockey fan or not, which is what the NHL is looking for (in general, but especially with this event). Since the NBC contract dictates that the NHL has to use American teams, and since this is probably good anyways (what, with growing the game and whatnot), it also makes perfect sense to give Canada a shot at the whole outdoor thing. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">For that reason I am completely okay with doubling up with the outdoor NHL game (maybe not every year but certainly every few years at least). My biggest issue with the Heritage Classic, then, had nothing to do with hockey or the NHL. In fact, my only problem with it was that Drake did not, as far as I can tell, return home for it, as promised. In fact, as far as my extensive research (which consisted of Googling ‘Drake’ to confirm that he was in the NBA’s halftime show) has shown, Drake neither returned home to Canada to attend to the game, nor did he return home to Toronto on Sunday to watch the game.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">(If those jokes went over your head, listen to the song <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Fireworks. </i>The good one. Not the Katy Perry piece of crap. In fact, listen to it even if you think you got them. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">That shit is pure fire,</i> as the kids say. Seriously, though. I really like Drake. By far my favorite Jewish-Canadian rapper. Top 5 at <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">worst.</i>)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">That utterly irrelevant diversion aside, I was cool with having a Heritage Classic and a Winter Classic. In fact, I’m cool with having as mamny outdoor games as teams want to schedule, but in addition to those two, the hockey world has seen at least 2 college games outdoors (Michigan-Michigan State, which saw 116,000 people, and Army-AIC), the two NHL games, a CHL game and a Hartford Whalers alumni event in the natural elements. Since most of these took place under the radar it probably won’t have much of an effect, but the novelty is going to wear off if the world of puck keeps going outside this often. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Calder Cauldron <o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">(Come back, it isn’t about the AHL. I swear - although I like Hershey, if anyone cares.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Hey, it’s another section that I’m adding because adding new sections is way easier than continuing old ones that don’t really line up with what I have to say! <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Anyways, 2011 has been an interesting year for the Calder (Rookie of the Year) race. You know why? Because there has been an NHL season. Every year is an interesting one for the rookie of the year race. That’s mainly the case due to my severe ADD, which won’t allow me to be interested by the same players each year. The rookies are new and exciting, so let’s preview that race by-- SHINY OBJECT!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Where were we? Oh, rookies. Right. Perhaps the most interesting aspect of the race this year is that of what makes a rookie. In order to be Calder eligible, a player cannot be over 26, have played in more than 25 regular season games in a previous season, or have played in more than 6 games in two previous seasons. This has become relevant this year, as it is hard to call either of the two ROY frontrunners ‘rookies,’ if the spirit of the term is honored.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Logan Couture, he of the league lead in game winning goals, and the brightest spot this season for a Sharks team who’s ‘big 3’ has been less than intimidating, played exactly 25 games in 2010. In the regular season. He then played 15 games for the Sharks in the playoffs, essentially establishing his spot on the team going forward the year <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">before </i> his rookie season. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">The second of the frontrunners is Michael Grabner of the New York Islanders. Grabner, too, is hardly a fresh face out of junior hockey. He is already with his third NHL organization, having played 20 games last year, for Vancouver. Most tellingly, though, is that Grabner is just 59 days younger than Sidney Crosby, and was taken by Florida in the same 2006 draft, a guy who had, in one man’s opinion, done a fair amount to establish himself as an NHLer prior to this, Grabner’s rookie year.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Still, under the parameters laid out by the NHL, Grabner and Couture are rookies, even if neither of them played junior hockey during the Obama administration., and they have to be considered the favorites for the 2011 Calder. Couture has stepped up to become the biggest secondary scoring threat for the Sharks (and arguably more than that). His 24 goals lead the team, and as I said earlier, his 8 game winners have him tied for the league lead. Just as importaanly, Couture has been an outstanding three zone player for the Sharks. He has killed penalties, gone above 50% on draws, and logged a +13 playing key minutes all season for San Jose. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Grabner came on to the scene a bit later, first gaining recognition from most in Carolina where he was a member of the youngstars team, and on the fastest skater competition handily. Since then, Grabner has been on a tear, catching Couture in the goal scoring race, with a 10 goals in 6 games stretch shortly after the All-Star break, for a surging Islanders team. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">The third favorite is Jeff Skinner. Skinner looks a little bit more like a typical rookie (actually, in the literal sense, he looks more like the typical u16 AAA player, but I was referring to his stats page, not his actual looks). The 92 birth year (hold on, I’m gonna go slit my wrists…aaand we’re back) was the 7<sup>th</sup> overall pick for Carolina this past year, and has completely forgone the A, jumping strait from the Kitchener Rangers to a prominent role with the Canes, where he is second on the team in scoring.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">There are plenty of other guys with claims to the ROY race, too. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Most of them, it turns out, play for the Edmonton Oilers. Taylor Hall (surging lately, and beginning to regain the aura of dominance that he had in juniors- something that it usually takes rookies a while to get back, like they forgot they were more skilled than most guys for the first few months due to the shock of actually being in the NHL), Magnus Paajarvi (my pick after watching him dominate a pre-season game- my logic was flawless there-, he actually hasn’t been that productive), Jordan Eberle (sure he isn’t in the top 5 in rookie scoring but TSN did a totally hilarious piece on his first goal, which was super sick- that has to count for something) and Linus Omark (DID YOU SEE THAT SHOOTOUT GOAL! HE SPUN AT CENTER ICE THAT WAS BADASS! Omark isn’t actually a ROY candidate. He has 3 goals this year.) are all productive. It’s a good thing, too, since Tom Gilbert is pretty much their elder statesman at the ripe old age of 28.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Derek Stepan has cooled significantly from his early season pace, which had him scoring 246 goals this season, and breaking Wayne Gretzky’s NHL record for goals in a remarkable 298 games (just under 4 seasons if he can stay healthy), and points in less than 1000 games, making him easily the best player in NHL history despite never registering an assist (</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">THESE ARE NON-ARGUABLE MATHEMATICAL <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">FACTS</i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">).</span></i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"> Despite his significant slump, relative to that pace, he remains in the top 5 amongst rookie scorers. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m told that there are other, non-goal scorers, that could be in the running for rookie of the year, but goal scorers are the ones who make SportsCenter, the ones who get paid and the ones who get laid <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">amiright</i>, so they are all that I really care about. Also, I don’t think that Corey Crawford, Kevin Shattenkirk or John Carlson quite measure up to the forwards in this race.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">TFM Hockey<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">The site <a href="http://www.totalfratmove.com/">www.totalfratmove.com</a> is obnoxious, morally questionable and populated mostly with douches. It is also hilarious, and frankly, I couldn’t enjoy it more. One of my favorite aspects of the site is the names that people use. Essentially, they take a name, title or phrase, and add bro, frat or whatever else to it. Hockey fans, don’t feel left out. Here are a few names to consider if you plan to post “Had the pledges DDing the Frathoes to the rink so the slampieces and bros could come to the game. TFM.” and are looking for something hockey related name to put it under.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Ilya Brovalchuk<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Alexander Brovechkin<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Fratrick Marbro<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Brogan Broture<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Browen Sound Frattack<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Bro Thornton<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Bro Pavelski<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">…any other Joe<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Pavel Fratsyuk<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Medicine Frat Tigers<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Kevin Frattenkirk<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Mike Brodano<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Anze Bropitar<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Natural Frat Trick<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">That was utterly pointless, but then again, so is this blog. Cheers.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: .25in;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">HOMER TIME</span></b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><b><i><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">What 2 Random People Would Say If They Cared About the Sharks (and agreed with me)</span><o:p></o:p></i></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Drew Magary<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">(warning, language is Magary consistent)<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Did you see that Setoguchi slapshot the other night? That was INSANE. It was like he was trying to shoot it THROUGH Jimmy Howard. Goodness. I’m even preparing to forgive Seto for disappearing for the first half of the fucking season. I’m not quite there, but it’s good to have him back<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">SONG THAT MAKES ME WANT TO RUN THROUGH A BRICK WALL<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/MOYnbQ9W2g0" title="YouTube video player" width="480"></iframe> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Russian Privejet, chromeboy remix, by Basshunter. This song will make you want to actually commit a homicide. Not like shooting someone in the back, but like winning a fight to the death against a worthy advasary. It is badass like that. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">UPCOMING GAMES<i> <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">San Jose-Pittsburgh<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">I used to love watching the Pens. Like pretty much everyone they may have been my favorite team in the league to watch. But now, without Crosby and Gino (not to mention Paul Martin, Mark Letestu, Chris Kunitz, Mike Comrie and Eric Tangradi), it is FUCKING DEPRESSING. I am flipping through CenterIce, see Pittsburgh come up, and then BOOM. No Crosby. Dagger. Injuries suck sometimes.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">San Jose-Calgary<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Coming back to Calgary means that the Sharks have played their last game in the Eastern Time Zone, at least according to a throw away coment from Randy Hahn, which I will believe because I am too lazy to check and see if it is true. Thank God for that, because 4:00/4:30 starts FUCKING SUCK. Sure, it is mainly because I was an idiot and scheduled classes that go until at least 5:30 four days a week, but still. I have an undue sense of entitlement wherein I have to be able to see every Sharks game start to finish that needs to be nurtured. So yeah, I’m happy that the Sharks are staying west for the rest of the year.<i><o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Pierre McGuire<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Look at Douglas Murray out there. The guy is a <i>monster.</i> That’s a great hockey body right there. Reminds me of a bigger version of Marc Staal, only if Staal was more of a powerful, stay at home guy, who was a lot more physical, didn’t have quite as good puck skills. And was Swedish. Other than those things, Doug Murray and Marc Staal are exactly the same. I distinctly remember watching Doug with the Cornell fighting Big Red up in beautiful Ithica, New York, and with Apple Core on Long Island (/never saw him play either place, looked that up 15 minutes before). What a player. Watch this here: vintage Doug Murray. Great job by the San Jose scouting staff finding this guy.</span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Top 8 / bottom eight<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">On the Up<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">8. Pittsburgh Penguins- The injury woes have been absurd for this team. Even with the improvements that the made from the team that was a contender last year, it is hard to take them seriously without Malkin and not knowing when Crosby is coming back. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">7. Tampa Bay Lightning- Their record indicates that they should be higher, but I just don’t trust their blueline, which is HUGE in the playoffs.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">6. San Jose Sharks- They are absolutely surging, and only caution prevents me from putting them in the top 3. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">5. Washington Capitals- If Neuvirth continues to look like a bonna fide 1, they are as tough as anyone.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">4. Detroit Red Wings- I thought I would be able to take them out of here by 2011. What the hell?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">3. Boston Bruins- They have spent the past two years assembling an incredibly deep roster. They have 3 second lines.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">2. Philadelphia Flyers- It is impossible not to love the acquisition of Versteeg for this team. Goaltending still scares me but it hasn’t been a problem thus far.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">1. Vancouver Canucks- They have one of the best bluelines in the league…on the IR (Bieksa, Edler, Hamhius, Ballard, and Alberts…not a bad top 5, all out). They are managing to win without them though, and when this team gets healthy they have to be the favorite.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">bottom eight<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">23. New York Islanders/New Jersey Devils- I didn’t want to put either of them on here, since they are on a tear, but the fact is they make up the 13 and 14 seeds in the East, so they have to be on the bottom list.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">24. Atlanta Thrashers- Realistically should be at 27, but they just called up Patrick Rissmiller, and that gets you a 3 spot bump in my book. No one said these rankings were scientific.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">25. Florida Panthers- Fire sale: commence. Just a hunch.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">26. Colorado Avalanche- They should make a trade to switch things up with some young stars.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">27. St. Louis Blues- Ditto.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">28. Edmonton Oilers- So young. A couple of years away.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">29. Toronto Maple Leafs- Bad times in Ontario…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">30. Ottawa Senators- EVERYTHING MUST GO! (slash is gone).<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Goal of the…whatever<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Grabovski is the next Nik Antripov. 20 goals a year, looks like a 50 goal scorer on all of them. Bonus points on this unreal move for breaking a tie in the last 3 minutes of the game.<o:p></o:p></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;"><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" height="383" id="embed" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://nhl.cdn.neulion.net/u/videocenter/embed.swf" /><param name="quality" value="high" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="flashVars" value="hlp=8471362&event=BOS633&server=http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/&pageurl=http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/&nlwa=http://app2.neulion.com/videocenter/nhl/" /><embed name="embed" pluginspage="http://www.adobe.com/go/getflashplayer" src="http://nhl.cdn.neulion.net/u/videocenter/embed.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="640" height="383" quality="high" allowFullScreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" flashVars="hlp=8471362&event=BOS633&server=http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/&pageurl=http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/&nlwa=http://app2.neulion.com/videocenter/nhl/"></embed></object></span><br />
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</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Player Montage<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">3:06 of top glove. Down.</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/PrEIJEs76jM" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe></span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Shorter Hockey Thoughts<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">- Corey Perry is budding as a star in the National Hockey League. He is having an outstanding season as a player and not just a pest. This makes me UNREASONABLY EFFING ANGRY. Really, God? Corey Perry, that leg stomping, chippy little rat gets to be a star? What the hell?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">- On the same note, Stefan Della Rovere is an NHLer.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">- 3 Random things that are badass: Goalie fights, knee drops, one timers. Boom.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">- There are two teams that Word thinks are spelled wrong. The Sabres (wants Sabers), and Canadiens (Canadians). Bothe are in the Northeast division. Coincidence? NO WAY! Actually, yeah, it probably is. Thought you should know, though.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"> - Chris Neal just won the freaking lottery, if people are right in speculating that he will be put on Crosby’s wing. I’m pretty sure I could pick up at least 20 tucks a year playing with 87. Also, if I could play on his wing <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Award Watch<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Just going to run through this quickly. I like the Ryan Kessler bandwagon for MVP (why not?), Tim Thomas has to be the Vezina favorite, and as much as it kills me not to pick Couture, I think that Skinner gets the Calder right now. I’m also going to abstain from the Adams (top Coach) debate, because it is obviously Guy Boucher, but he seems like a douche. So there.</span></div>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-32559653400873875242010-12-19T22:45:00.000-08:002010-12-20T20:20:29.742-08:00Capital Punishment<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://media3.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/photo/gallery/090513/GAL-09May13-2024/media/PHO-09May13-161875.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="331" src="http://media3.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/photo/gallery/090513/GAL-09May13-2024/media/PHO-09May13-161875.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Capitals are Looking for Answers. Boudreau Knows where to look.</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 14px;">The Capitals have lost 8 in a row.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 14px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 14px;">That’s messed up.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 14px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 14px;">They are way too good to have lost 8 in a row.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 14px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 14px;">Look at their roster, and at the teams that have beat them.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 14px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 14px;">What could possibly cause them to lose 8 in a row?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 14px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 14px;">I MUST KNOW.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 14px;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">With that in mind, I sat down last night to break down the battle of nation’s capitals, as the Senators played host to the Caps, and looked to send their slide to 9 games. Here’s what went down:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">10:44 (1) – The Capitals are down 1-0 on a Ryan Shannon goal. I guess that I should mention that I am starting this about half way through the first period, since I, well, I just got the idea, I guess. It could easily be confirmation bias on my part, as it certainly isn’t the sort of thing I would notice if I wasn’t looking for it, but the Caps bench just <i>looks </i>down. No one is talking, and there is zero energy. Everyone is just kind of staring out at the ice or at the scoreboard. I guess you can’t blame them, being down 1-0 just 9 minutes in and having lost 8 in a row, but the entire demeanor screams <i>here we go again.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">9:15 (1) – As we head into the first commercial break, one thing is clear: most of this analysis is going to be along the lines of ‘this is a team that just <i>looks</i> like they are struggling.’ In the first minute of watching, I have noticed guys reaching a lot, not moving their feet, like they are desperate to make a play but not thinking about how to do it. Bernie Madoff had more of an idea as to how he was going to get out of his slump than the Capitals do right now. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">8:23 (1) – The passing isn’t there right now, either. A D to D pass from Scott Hannan to Erskine (I believe) went off of the boards even though there was little to no pressure. This led to Erskine swinging at a now contested puck, and turning it over, rather than making an easy breakout. Even as I type this, another pass misses for an icing.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">7:15 (1) – Another missed D to D with no pressure. Another turnover results.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">6:05 (1) – 2-0 Ottawa. Carlson made a great pass to send Johansson in on a breakaway, but he got caught, leading the play back the other way. Once it got into the other zone, Green couldn’t tie up Kelly, and a nice pass finds him in front. There were three Caps in the slot, and Kelly got behind all of them (the pass came from the corner). It is the kind of little breakdown that seems to hurt you when things aren’t going well. Down 2-0, with things going poorly, it will be interesting to see how this team responds. I don’t have high hopes. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">On the plus side, Mike Green appears intent to answer the question, ‘what would Manny Ramirez play like if he were an NHL defenseman.’ Godspeed, Mike, godspeed.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">4:44 (1) – I just tried to watch Ovechkin for a shift, but it consisted of watching him stand next to his D man in the D zone, while Hannan and Green got cycled on, then jump offside on a 3-2 while Green tried to walk through 3 guys. Not pretty.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">4:21 (1) – Mike Knuble just made a small but telling play on a nice little scoring chance for the Caps. He caught a pass in the slot, with a bit of time and a sprawling Brian Elliot in front of him. Rather than shooting, though, he tried to stickhandle around Elliot, who was already in desperation mode, and actually gave him time to cover the post with his glove, making the stop. Over-stickhandling is a classic sign of a struggling team, and that was a clear cut example. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">4:09 (1) – The Caps have surged since they went down 2-0. They created a couple of chances and are now on a powerplay on a Milan Michalek slash, although in the 20 seconds it took to type that, they have yet to touch the puck in the offensive zone. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">3:01 (1) – Even with the man advantage, the Caps passing is HORRIBLE. Over-stickhandling, a lost draw and bad passing have led to the Senators clearing the puck 5 times in the first 90 seconds of the PP before the Caps have a shot. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">1:52 (1) – PP killed. No chances. They looked lost.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">0:00 (1) – Fehr scores, but it is a good second or two after the buzzer. The Caps were cycling a bit right at the end of the period but even then they didn’t seem to have any effective puck movement. Everything used the boards. Every pass created a race. You can’t live and die by small battles created when you <i>had </i>possession. Nothing ends up getting to the net. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">At the end of the first period, one thing is abundantly clear. I am going to have to find a lot of different ways to say ‘the Caps are pressing, playing like a team that is desperate and has been taken away from <i>their </i>game.’ At least they will provide plenty of different examples with which to point this out. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">20:00 (2) – Boudreau is in the ear of the officials before the start of the second. It is the most fight anyone on the Caps has show in a week. Then again, he could be fighting for his job. The rumors have officially started flying. It seems ridiculous and is easy to write off as ridiculous, but on the other hand, this is clearly too talented a team to be playing this badly, and coaches have been dismissed to wake teams up under less dire circumstances. Ultimately I think Bruce will be fine (Boudreau is well liked and owner Ted Leonsis is pretty level headed), but it makes sense that he would be showing a bit of desperation. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">19:23 (2) – Caps strike early when a turnover and then an ill-advised dive by Gonchar gave the Caps a 3-1. Even the goal was ugly for a skilled team like the Capitals. Laich tried to pass to the trailer, Knulbe, who was in traffic. Knuble fumbled with it, eventually kicking it at the net, but it went right to Perroult, though, and he tapped it in. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">18:40 (2) – Eric Fehr taps one through Elliot after a terrible turnover to Ovechkin off of Phillips, for the second Caps goal in 50 seconds. It was a pretty solid break for the Caps, but the energy level in period 2 is much better than it was in the first for Washington. Make your own breaks indeed. Timeout by the Sens.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">Real quick, as much as it seemed natural to see how the Capitals would respond to adversity, I think it is actually going to be more interesting to see how they respond to a bit of good fortune and momentum. They haven’t had much lately. Will they loosen up and play to their skill level, or will they be more energetic versions of the pressing, struggling team that we saw in the first? The energy picked up after the first goal, the challenge will be to maintain it. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">17:51 (2) – My first reaction, as it pertains to the above question, is that they are (predictably) somewhere in the middle of the two options I gave. A shift by the Backstrom-Ovechkin line looked energetic and way more aggressive than they had been, but they still look like they don’t have a plan out there.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">(Also, the color guy for the Caps claimed that ‘if the Capitals get the next goal they will win,’ and didn’t bother to qualify it. So apparently we are playing to three. Good to know.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">(I like Joe Beninati and Jeff Rimer, the Caps TV team, but come on…it wouldn’t be a running diary if I didn’t make fun of the announcing, right?)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">16:41 (2) – Powerplay Washington. Offensive zone call against Ottawa.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">15:38 (2) –The powerplay looks much better than the last. A couple of tape to tape passes for the Caps, finally, although they are still having trouble sustaining pressure. A couple of chances, none of them golden, and we are back to 5 on 5. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">14:27 (2) – Even in this second period, with things going their way, no one has looked <i>good </i>for Washington, but Carlson looks as good as anyone for Washington. He is easily the most composed, and he is moving his feet much better than the typical guy for Washington. He just drew another penalty by splitting a couple of guys and getting dragged down. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">13:10 (2) – When it rains it pours. A Green shot hits Laich and he goes down. ‘Bad luck’ legitimately needs to be mentioned as a reason for the streak.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">13:03 (2) – The powerplay, once again looking better than the last, finally breaks through. After Ovechkin’s unit got a couple of chances, the second team got a bad rebound from Elliot, and Perrault tapped it in. Elliot made a dumb play to try to paddle it away, putting it in the slot, and creating the chance, but the Caps were going to the net. It is a universal hockey truth. If things aren’t going your way, go to the net. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">11:14 (2) – The Senators come back with a little bit of momentum, but the caps don’t break. They can’t stay back on their heels with things going their way for a change. A struggling team will be tempted to sit on a lead, but for a team like the Caps to now attempt to win this game 3-2 with half an hour of game time left won’t work.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">10:48 (2) – As I type that, Ovechkin crashes the net on a seemingly innocent rush and puts it in, but with one of the more obvious kick ins I have ever seen. This one should come back. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">While the play is being reviewed, the ref turned to a linesman, and said something with his hand over his mouth. I have no idea why he would want to hide the result of the play from anyone, so I can only assume that he was saying <i>‘Toronto says we need the Caps in contention. Ovechkin is a poster boy, and has been slumping. He needs this one. We need to find a way to count this’ </i>for the simple reason that conspiracies are fun. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">Turns out I am wrong, though, and they call it off.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">9:45 (2) – Boudreau appears to agree that going to the net and getting it done ugly is the key to busting out, because ‘pucks and bodies to Elliot’ seems to be the directive right now. It certainly is a change from the first, and seems to be effective. The Caps still don’t look sharpe. Tape to tape passes are rare. They are stickhandling at times that you would expect NHLers to make a play with the puck. But they are at least putting their desperation to work. They are getting to the net. They are creating traffic. Finally, there is a plan, and it appears to be a good one. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">9:13 (2) – Green doesn’t like it, but he hooked Chris Neil pretty clearly around the waste and took a minor. He looks TERRIBLE in his own zone. That is his first penalty of the night, but he has been beat twice for goals, and is having exactly zero success breaking up the Senators cycle. It is well known that Green does his best work on offense, but this is ridiculous. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">7:12 (2) – Capitals get the kill. Ottawa got a couple of chances in the second half of the PP, but overall it was a good kill. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">4:49 (2) – Neuvirth has been fine today, making the saves he should, but something seems off. He hasn’t been tested much, but he definitely doesn’t look good. He is clearly fighting the puck. He has used his glove to make saves on his blocker side a few times, and looks like he is holding on for dear life when he covers the puck. Goaltending has definitely been an issue for the Capitals throughout this streak, and I can’t help but think that the main reason for that not cropping up tonight is a lack of opportunity.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">0:39 (2) – Elliot just got RUN OVER, with no call. It has nothing to do with the Capitals struggles, but maybe it is a sign of a karmic turn around or something, because I have seen 50,000 goalie interference penalties that had less contact than that. Dwayne Roloson (the overdramatic, flopping piece of ---sorry) would be rolling around like he was shot if that happened to him.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">End (2) – That was an undeniably good period for the Caps. Obviously. They scored three times, and controlled play (if that didn’t come through it was only because I am looking for reasons that they are struggling). They still don’t look like the Capitals that we know, that are super skilled and can create exciting forms of offense, but they are playing better. They simplified. They went to the net. They were aggressive. It was a different team than the one that looked nervous and pressing in the first. They need to stay aggressive, above all else, as they go into the third. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">18:18 (3) – A roller coaster first shift of the third for Ovechkin’s line. They had a decent forecheck, but once it gets broken, and the Senators started to pressure, the Capitals absolutely TURTLED. They went into D zone coverage like they were on a penalty kill, and the Senators worked the puck, getting a decent chance but missing the net. That is ‘how not to win hockey games 101.’ For a minute the Capitals looked like the team that was scared and pressing (slumping) in the first period, again (although, this was ‘trying desperately to protect a one goal lead with 19 minutes left’ edition). <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">Then, a bad pass led to a turnover, and Ovechkin beat Karlsson, forcing Karlsson to haul him down and giving the Caps a PP. My hard hitting analysis? Having the second best player in the world is nice sometimes. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">16:30 (3) – The Capitals powerplay has been unimpressive (was, now) save for a chance created by Ovechkin, and a nice save for Elliot. Most of what the Caps have gotten this period has been a result of guys rushing the puck and beating defensemen 1-1. On the one hand, this is an ineffective way to win hockey games. On the other hand, if it can work for anyone, it is the Capitals. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">14:19 (3) – A quarter of the way through the third, the Senators are controlling the 5-5, but then again, there hasn’t been much in the way of scoring chances for Ottawa. I am tempted to chalk this up to Ottawa’s sloppiness more than good work with by the Caps. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">13:00 (3) – The Capitals have had a couple of odd man rushes (a 2-1 and a 3-1), and neither was turned into a quality chance. The Caps resemble the team we saw in the first way more than the team that was out there in the second. Waiting back is natural for a team that is 15 minutes from their first win in a few weeks, but it isn’t effective.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">12:52 (3) – Huge PK.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">10:30 (3) – Nothing for Ottawa on the powerplay, although this time I am <i>sure </i>that it was due to a bad job by the Sens. That was ugly.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">10:10 (3) – A moment that sums up the Capitals issues has forced me to rewind the DVR to watch it again, then pause (rather than wait for a stoppage) to break it down. The Senators turn the puck over in the neutral zone, and Ovechkin enters the zone with space. A Capital is going to the net with speed, making it a semi-2-1, and the Ottawa defenseman plays the pass. Ovechkin, he of the league lead in shots every year that he has been <i>in</i> the league, has a clear path to the net, with only a bit of back pressure. It looks like the start of an uncountable number of YouTube videos that I have seen of Ovechkin. What does he do? Snipe? Create a highlight? Thread it through the defenseman to the crashing forward for a goal, even? No. He passes back, through the back checker, into more back pressure, sending the play the other way. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">That is the very definition of pressing. He is one of the best goal scorers in the world, and he gave up a semi-breakaway. Ovechkin has 6 points in the last 10 games. For him, that is slumping. This is a quintessential example of the way he is pressing. Passing back in that situation is never going to improve that scoring chance. Especially for Ovie, who may well be the best finisher in the game. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">When a team is struggling, they cease to trust their own abilities, and that is exactly what Ovechkin just demonstrated.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">8:02 (3) – Nothing comes of a PP that was created for a hook on the guy going to the net above. Unless something grabs me, I am going to watch this one to the end, than go with my thoughts there. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">4:57 (3) – Since we are in commercials, and I am up to speed on DVR, I may as well chime in here. The Caps have their lead, but barely. If the Caps win this game, it will be by holding on. There is really no takeaway from that, though. That is usually the way streaks end. I you have lost a bunch of games, you start trying not to lose. When you get close to that, it is extraordinarily difficult not to sit back and be defensive. That’s what is going on right now. On the other hand, if they don’t hold on, this could be devastating. Back to the game.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">2:45 (3) – Chimera just took a blatant holding penalty 200 feet from his own net. That is TERRIBLE. File that under the ‘reasons you have lost 8 in a row’ category.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">The Caps will have to kill a frantic PP if they are going to hold on here.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">0:16 (3) – Got the kill, then a holding call in the offensive zone for Follingo. It looks like it is finally over. You will never see a team happier to beat a team that they have 8 points on in December. But that is what happens when you break a streak.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">So the steak ended. If you want you could say I jinxed it. Whatever. Really, though, I am left with two conflicting reactions as they pertain to the Capitals.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">The first is that, when you have lost 8 in a row, a win is a win. There are no two ways about it. It literally does not matter one iota how you got it. You will take the W. When next week’s 24/7 comes out, you can expect that to be the reaction from the Capitals locker room. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">Having said that, Washington’s problems are far from over. Ottawa is not a particularly good team. They did not have a particularly good night. But the Capitals made beating them look FREAKING HARD. They held on for dear life for the last 15 minutes of that game. It was not a 60 minute effort. They played well for about 20 minutes (and only really good for about 5), and looked pretty shellshocked for the other 40. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">The Capitals also failed my ‘best players have to be their best players’ test. Tonight, their best guys were a couple of rookies. I love John Carlson, but he shouldn’t be their best defenseman, and he was. The most energetic guy up front was Matthieu Perreault, playing just his 9<sup>th</sup> game of the year. Backstrom was quiet. Mike Green was terrible (he had a number of bad turnovers in addition to his D zone problems), and Ovechkin had just one shot, failing to make his usual impact shift-in-shift-out. It worked for them tonight, but it won’t long term.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">Once again, it is going to be about how they react going forward. How many of their problems were born of frustration or slump? I’m going to say most of them. This is a team that could be better, but they are a lot better than this. Winning should lead to more winning, and the problems I talked about should only diminish now that they are off the schneid. That isn’t to say they aren’t there. They most certainly are.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">At the end of the day, though, they got the win, and killed the most improbable streak of the 2010 NHL season. Scott Hannan finally has a W as a Capital, but only time will tell if that will put their problems behind them. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-40111092953055425872010-12-12T18:43:00.000-08:002010-12-13T20:18:27.231-08:00Nit Picks: Way Late<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://billsportsmaps.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/sec3.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="255" src="http://billsportsmaps.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/sec3.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Above Image is <i>WAY </i>better than actually caring about real life.</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13px;">1. Usually, I try to get this up by Thursday night. That is because both the college and NFL weekend schedules, for TV reasons, will start on Thursday night, and I want to have the opportunity to include those games in the picks, and in the preview stud, just so the whole week kind of gets grouped together. This week, though, there is no college football game and I WILL BE GODDAMED IF I AM GOING TO BE BEHOLDEN TO NFL NETWORK. They don’t run my life. Really, I just didn’t have time to get it up in time, but still, it sounds way better to say that it is because I run my business and NO ONE ELSE.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">2. I’m mixing in a baseball note here, because I don’t feel like churning out an entire baseball column in mid-December, and IT IS MY BLOG SO I WILL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE (sorry). You may be wondering what I am, as a Red Sox fan, thinking about the trade-and-sign of Adrian Gonzalez for a reported (although unannounced) 7 years and $ 154 million, and then the signing Carl Crawford for 7 years and $ 142 million. I am against it. Sure, they are good players, but to throw around that much money was irresponsible. How are we going to re-sign guys like Josh Bard, John Lester and Clay Buchholz when the times come now? Those contracts will completely mess up our salary cap situation.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Wait, what’s that? There is no salary cap in baseball? That’s right! THERE IS NO CAP IN BASEBALL!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Allow me, then, to revise my thoughts on these signings, now that I have this bit of information: </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO! NOT MY FUCKING MONEY! FUCK IT, GIVE ‘EM $200 MILLION! And to the rest of baseball, I say this: don’t hate the player, hate the game. No cap means that if the Red Sox want to throw the GDP of a small African nation at a first baseman, they can do that, and I’ll be damned if I am going to have misgivings about it. Enjoy you’re revenue sharing checks, Kansas City, Pittsburgh and Oakland that will go directly into your owners' pockets (and by pockets I mean offshore bank accounts). That should be a huge comfort while you’re watching bad baseball all summer.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">God, the Red Sox are good now. We have middle of the order quality guys at what, 7 positions? Ortiz can take his typical 4 month spring training and it won’t even matter this year, since he should be hitting in like the 8 hole anyways. Unbelievable. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">And to those of you saying that the Red Sox are what we have always hated, I say this. No we aren't. We hated <i>losing </i>to that. Now we are winning 125 games with it, which I, for one, am completely okay with.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">3. Like videos that confirm every single stereotype that you have ever heard about a place? Me too. his one does just that for Alabama. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">(Deadspin dug this gem up on Saturday, and as a dude with a functioning Blogger.com account, it is my solemn obligation to pass it along) <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">(Our friend here lets you know in the beginning, but <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">if you’nt lak cussin an vulgarity, click a HELL UP OFF THIS CHANNEL, BOYS.</i> Just so you know.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;"><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/A5U7_sRtQN8?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/A5U7_sRtQN8?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">YEW MUFUCKERS AIN’T SUPERIOR T’US YEW FUCKIN LOWER’DN US! I’m just sayin sumin hap’nd whin yew fuckin Tigers come up inerr. Iunow if one a yew bastards dunin gawt swane flew, wunna you fucknuts dun brawt wunnayur damn cra—Iunow what the FUCK happin. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Iunnow what the fuck happin, indeed.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">And yes, this makes me like Alabama less by exactly ZERO. In fact, that video makes me want to transfer RIGHT FUCKING NOW. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Also, if you don’t want to watch that video, you may as well stop reading this now. Mainly because if you don’t find that funny, than I will never seen eye to eye with you on anything, but also because you can expect a non-stop cavalcade of me throwing in random YEW MUFUCKERS KAYUN KISS A ROWL TAD FUCKIN ASS, and alike for the next few weeks. It probably won’t help with my upcoming exams. Oh well.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">4. Do we really need a Heisman trophy, a Maxwell Award and a Walter Camp award? I say no. In fact, I say ‘of course not, and if you think differently, you are dead wrong because all three awards are the exact same thing.’ At least in Hockey, where there are two MVPs, at least one is voted on by the players. All these are voted on by writers. Is college football trying to solve debates about the English language (the difference between ‘most outstanding’-the Heisman, ‘player of the year’- WC, and ‘best’-Maxwell)? I’m confused. This is fucking stupid.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">5. This is the one week of the year that I would like to invite ESPN to talk about Brett Favre as much as they want. Is the story any less abrasive and repetitive? Of course not. Did anything new happen? Not as far as I know. Am I finally warming up to Favre? Fuck and no. But like I said, they can talk about him as much as they want this week. Why is that, you may ask?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Because I FUCKING LOVE watching him get lit up. Hold on, I’m going to watch it right now. BAM. Blind side…didn’t see it coming. You thought you stepped out of the rush, didn’t you, then POP. Decleated. That is beautiful. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Sure, it probably makes me a bad person that I get so much pleasure out of his pain. Sure, pretty much all of America probably felt pretty much the same way when Tony Romo was lying on the ground, looking like one of those silhouettes that gets outlined at a murder scene, but that was totally different, because (lip quivering, tears forming) <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that’s my fraternity brother. That’s my quarterback. </i>Like I said, this was totally different. I love it. One more time.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">(Steps back...CRACK. He is off his feet. God I am enjoying this. Way too much. One more time. 52 just SLAMs him to the ground. And it was a pick. Best. Play. Ever.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">6. The SEC Championship game, which was last Saturday, should bring me great joy. After all it is a one game playoff to determine the winner of the best conference in college football. But all it did was make me sad. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Sure, the Auburn-South Carolina matchup was well below the level of excitement brought by the back to back Alabama-Florida ‘TimTebowMightCryIfWe’reLucky-athons.’ Yeah, it sucked that the game was pretty much over after USC couldn’t JUST KNOCK THE GD BALL DOWN on the hail mary before half, and yeah, it was a bummer that Drew Magary summed it up perfectly tweeting that “<span class="apple-style-span">Watching Auburn win that game was like watching a kickoff return TD with a FLAG graphic up for the last 80 yards.</span>” But none of that was what made me sad.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
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<span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">The thing that made me sad was that now the SEC is gone. CBS is going to show basketball games and crap like that on Saturday Afternoons, but WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!?!?! Watch a movie? Study? Actually pay attention to real life? That sounds FUCKING TERRIBLE. The SEC is so much better than real life. And now it is gone. What the fuck, it feels like it just got here.</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">7. Since I didn’t get this up in time for the Thursday night game, I figured that I may as well talk about the action from Thursday night. The problem is, the game was pretty boring. The Titans came back and made it a game, sure, but really, I was just disappointed that Manning was able to avoid continuing his people-pleasing streak of being terrible at football. Damn him. Also, ‘Cop Speed’ is the second best nickname in sports, just behind ‘Shatty Ice’ for Kevin Shattenkirk, which I made up.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">8. Same idea as the SEC Championship game bit, but FUCK SATURDAYS WITH NO MAJOR COLLEGE FOOTBALL. THIS IS HORSE SHIT. I DEMAND A REFUND. The Army-Navy game is fine, but it is mostly about the pageantry of the midshipmen and cadets in their coats and all of that stuff, with the snow and all. Great theater, but let’s be honest, the football sucks. And don’t try to tell me anything along the lines of ‘at least we have the Heisman presentation.’ The Heisman presentation is the tony awards with football players. Gay. The only thing worth watching for is when the kid (Newton this year) makes his speech, and all of the middle-aged-to-old black dudes like Earl Campbell and Marcus Allan and shit are standing behind him going ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">it’s okay. Take your time baby. Take your time.’ </i>High comedy. That’s totally what she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">And it is a sign of the time of year. This isn’t a one week hiatus. It is really gone. God, it is like a void has been opened. Bowl week is fine, but I am actually having a personal crisis right now. I can’t just waste time with shit like ‘friends,’ ‘family,’ ‘work,’ or ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">school,’</i> on Saturday. And don’t even try to step in, NFL. It’s just not the same. I NEED MY COLLEGE FOOTBALL! Now I am going to wake up every Saturday, and have nothing to do. I mean that is the case anyways, but at least now I can not get anything done while I watch Troy play Southern Miss on Thursday night, or be worthless while I hang on every play of Rutgers and UVA on Saturdays. That’s WAY better.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">9. One more from the ‘Yeah I probably should have posted this before it even came up but I may as well talk about it since I didn’t file:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you haven’t, you need to see the video of the Metrodome collapsing. Holy dayaftertomorrow. That looked like a bad special effect. God that is going to be a nightmare to clean up. And the logistics of moving home games are a nightmare. Refunds, redoing seating charts…that takes months. Well, ladies and gentlemen, your 2010-2011 University of Minnesota Vikings. Enjoy playing games outside in a Minnesota January, Brett. Serves you right, prick. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">(For what it’s worth, they are moving today’s game to Detroit and they say that they can have it fixed for the Vikings next home game. The problem is, their next home game is next Monday night, not oh, say, four months from now, so yeah…I’m not buying it.)<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxuxNLf87_Y"><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/IxuxNLf87_Y?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/IxuxNLf87_Y?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></a><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">10. At the gym yesterday, I walked up to the bike that I usually ride to warm up, and saw that the TV in front of it was on TNT. Usually, this would have meant that we were watching an NBA game that I wasn’t interested in, or some crappy Law and Order rerun (or whatever it is that TNT shows. Suffice to say I wouldn’t be interested. Then it came back from commercials, and I saw what was on.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">300.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Fuck. And. Yes.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Dude I am so down to watch some Spartans FUCK SHIT UP right now. This is totally conducive to the attitude that I want this workout to take on. I am going to bench press 350 pounds. Fuck that. 350 pound dumbbells. </span></i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">I love that movie. Gets me totally amped. When we played San Jose State, they played the dude yelling THIS IS SPAAAAARRRRTTTAAAAAA, right before the game. It was badass. First and only time I have ever been jealous of anything related to San Jose State. Watch a trailer, and then try not to be overcome with adrenaline. I don’t think you can do it. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;"><object height="340" width="560"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/wDiUG52ZyHQ?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/wDiUG52ZyHQ?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Tell me you don't want to go find some Persians and fuck shit up right now. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Anyways, I was there for like 30 seconds before some ass comes over and changes it to a college basketball game that I could not possibly give a shit about, and that was on the other TV, maybe 20 feet away. I wanted to lunge 30 feet through the air and drive a spear through his skull, and I’m pretty sure that it would have been considered ‘justifiable homicide.’<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Anyways, 300 is badass.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">LINKS<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Since I’m there are no more college games to pick, I’m not going to bother trying to get 10 anymore. To make up for it, I’ll throw in some links at the end (in addition to the Drew Magary, Bill Simmons and whatever else that I have been doing.).<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/Pass-or-Fail-Are-Florida-Everblades-holiday-je?urn=nhl-294814">Ladies and gentlemen, your 2010-2011 Florida Starbucks Cups. Only fucking Florida.</a><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Drew Magary link of the Week- <a href="http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2006/12/ask-yukon-cornelius.html">A nice piece on the virtues of Rudolph</a> (<a href="http://deadspin.com/5710158/fuck-you-charlie-brown">e has conflicting feelings about Charlie Brown</a>)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://kotaku.com/5712128/the-2011-video-game-bowl-+-and-playoff-+-spectacular">It is pathetic that this is as close as we come to a CFB playoff, but it is.</a><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://www.cbc.ca/video/#/Sports/CBC's_Hockey_Night_in_Canada/Coach's_Corner">Sorry to mix in so much hockey this week, but If you like the sport even a little bit, and even if you don’t, Don Cherry should be must watch every week. </a></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://totalfratmove.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Most of this stuff is obnoxious, misogynistic, inappropriate, vulgar and obnoxious again. In other words, it is hilarious and I love it.</span></a></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1354086409">For example. </a></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Real Quick, Gambling:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Cowboys (+3) over Eagles <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Pats (-3) over Bears<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Giants (-3) over Vikings<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Ravens (-3) over Texans <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Chargers (-7) over Cheifs<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">(UPDATE: Adding the 'angry white guys' label. How could I not give our friend megaskeet420 up there the Angry White Guys tag. That one's on me.)</span></div>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-2353739021903235932010-12-08T15:10:00.000-08:002010-12-08T21:38:37.377-08:00u20 Days and Ready to Go<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/496905/96148568.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/496905/96148568.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The USA should be favored to repeat in the 2011 WJCs</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 18px;">The month of December is about waiting. It is about counting down. That's because, at the end of the month, we get the most festive day of the year, one where people celebrate and appreciate the greatest gift of all, while seeing new gifts that they will enjoy for years to come for the first time. </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">And Christmas. Christmas is at the end of December too. I’m not talking about that, though. I’m talking about the best sporting event of the year. The World Junior Hockey Championships.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">God, just typing that gets me excited. I really can’t wait. That’s because, with due res</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 18px;">pect to the Olympics, Super Bowl, college football season, world cup, Tour de France and Stanley Cup Playoffs, which, among others, are events to circle on the sporting calendar, the WJCs are the event that is brining the most anticipation in 2010. Well, for me, anyways. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">I tried to explain how much I loved World Juniors, as they’re known in the hockey world, last winter, and found it difficult. There are tangible aspects of the tournament, which I described, and while it fails to capture the whole thing, the best I could come up with was this:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></span></div><blockquote>So this tournament was great, but I knew it was appointment viewing, one of my favorite events of the year, long before I knew that the United States would pull it out in dramatic fashion. What is it, then, about the World Juniors that is so appealing? There is a lot, but two things stick out.</blockquote><blockquote>First of all, this is the only tournament in any of the major American sports that features the best available players, representing their country, in the most important event of their season. The level of talent in the Olympic hockey tournament is staggering. The “Dream Team” in the basketball tournament is great. The problem is, LeBron James and Kobe Bryant, despite what some have insinuated, would trade their gold medals in Beijing for NBA championships in an instant. Conversely, none of the players for Canada would have accepted silver had they been given CHL Memorial Cup championships instead, like the USA players wouldn’t trade their Gold’s for NCAA Frozen Four titles (or, if we’re honest, Memorial Cups).</blockquote><blockquote>There really is only one tournament that can say this, apart from World Juniors. The soccer World Cup is likely the defining moment of the player’s seasons, but it is neither annual, nor a major sport in America. While it is growing in popularity, soccer still just isn’t up there in terms of interest for Americans.</blockquote><blockquote>Add the passion of having a season defined by a tournament, like the playoffs for professionals, with the eyes of the entire NHL on these young players looking to break into the league, and the inherent rush anyone would get playing with for their country, and the result is a brand of hockey the intensity and passion of which is nearly unmatched, even in the NHL playoffs.</blockquote><blockquote>There is another thing that is great about the World Juniors, though. Like no other event in the world, the World Juniors give hockey fans a glimpse into the future of a league. Canada’s team was made up almost exclusively first and second rounders. Most guys on the Swedish Russian and continental teams will play in the NHL. Most of the USA team projects to be top 6 forwards. The talent level is insane. You could watch the CHL and college hockey for months, but you wouldn’t match the level of insight gained when you see when the best come together, not for nothing, to face the best.</blockquote><blockquote>There is a telling commercial that played during the games. It was of NHL stars, including Ovechkin, Nash, Crosby and Getzlaf, among others, raising their arms after goals. The punch line: “Raise your hand if you got your start in the World Juniors.” Truth in advertizing.</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">The greatness of the tournament goes beyond what I described, though. Those are the things that I can enumerate, but in order to appreciate the tournament, you have to take my word for it, and tune in. Last year, the crux of that column was that America had largely failed to take notice of the tournament, thus far (as evidenced by the fact that the games were on NHL Network in the US). There is good news, though, America. This is the year that you can check it out!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">You know how everyone kind of concedes that the world cup is an awesome event, but no one really feels like getting too into it, since we know that a good tournament for the Americans would be to not get knocked out before the championship round even begins (also, as much as we build it up, the tournament is actually just a bunch of soccer games, which either end in zero-zero ties or own goals)? The World Juniors were a little bit like that before. USA Hockey was much more of a contender than US Soccer, but Canada had more or less owned the decade, winning five in a row. The United States had just one win, in 2004. This year, though, that has all changed. Last year, the USA pulled off a huge upset, knocking off a historically good Canada team and taking gold.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">Now, perhaps for the first time, the United States comes into the tournament as the favorite. Winning last year certainly helped to that end, but that isn’t really why they get the nod over the Canadians. One of the things that is unique about the World Juniors is just how much rosters turn over from year to year. The tournament is open to players under 20. For teenagers, a lot of development takes place year to year, so guys in their last year of eligibility usually take up most of the roster spots. On top of that, a lot of the guys who are good enough to play at a younger age are in the NHL by the time they are in their last year of eligibility, and don’t get released from their teams to play (Taylor Hall, the Oilers’ rookie being an example). <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">This year, the USA returns 8 from their 22 man roster. That is a <i>ton. </i>The United States holds their camp during the summer, whereas Canada has a training/tryout camp right before the tournament, so it is unofficial, but the most Canada can return, by contrast, is 3 (Jared Cowan, Ryan Ellis and Calvin de Haan). In addition to the experience that the Americans bring back, they have an incoming class of ‘92s (I feel old) that contains more high draft picks than any before. It should lead to the most talented USA squad that we have seen (and for what it is worth, the most geographically diverse. The team has kids from California, Arizona, Pennsylvania, Texas, Nevada, Missouri and Colorado mixed in with the traditional New York, New England, Michigan and Minnesota boys). <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">Of course, that cursory explanation won’t do, so let’s take a look at the team that will wear Red White and Blue, and defend the gold on home ice in Buffalo (that advantage should be huge. I’m sure no Canadians will make the grueling 2 hour drive from Toronto).<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">Returning Players<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">Jack Campbell is the big one here. Perhaps the top goaltending prospect not playing pro yet, the Windsor Spitfires (OHL) backstop is going to take the reins once again for the USA. He will likely give the USA the strongest goaltending in the tournament. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">On defense, the United States has the most turnover. Losing guys like John Carlson (thriving this year the Washington Capitals), John Carlson (who scored the game winner in last year’s championship), and John Carlson (perhaps the strongest player in the tournament last year), in addition to Cam Fowler, Cam Fowler and Cam Fowler (equally deserving of superlatives), leaves a big hole to fill on the blueline. The lone returner is University of Wisconsin defenseman John Ramage, who played with Carlson on the number 1 pair for most of the tournament last year. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">Up front, the United States brings two things in spades; speed, and experience. Maple Leafs prospect (and current farmhand for the Marlies) Jerry D’Amigo is the biggest impact forward that the US brings back. He trailed only New York Rangers rookie Derek Stepan with 12 points last year. Chris Kreider, of Boston College and Kyle Palmieri, who saw time in Anaheim before being demoted to the Duck’s AHL squad this season, were both top 6 guys last year, and will be impact players for the States this year. My dad got mad at Jason Zucker for playing like it was a tryout last year (over-stickhandeling), but really the kid just has silky mitts, and he has the potential to step up this year. Ryan Bourque and Jeremy Morin round out the group of 6 forwards returning, all of whom had substantial impacts on last year’s gold medal win.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">Rookies<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">Andy Iles, a Salisbury product who is a frosh at Cornell got the invite as America’s second goaltender. Coach Keith Allain elected not to take a third goaltender for this year’s team. I don’t know much about Iles, other than that he was really, really good in prep school (started for Salisbury as a sophomore), and that I keep thinking he was a returner, because I know the name.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">On defense, the US adds one AHLer and 6 college players to round out a core that won’t have a single junior hockey player on it. Nick Leddy, left off of the team last year, highlights the incoming class, having already garnered some NHL experience this season in Chicago. Derek Forbert also has a chance to be the number one defenseman for the USA. A student at North Dakota, Forbert was the 15<sup>th</sup> pick in the 2010 draft, going to Los Angeles. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">Up front, the US brings in a ton of early round talent. Emerson Etem, a Ducks draft pick and California native playing for Medicine Hat (WHL) may be the fastest player in the tournament. Brock Nelson of the Islanders and UBD, Nick Bjugstad of Minnesota and the Panthers, and Charlie Coyle of BU and the Sharks are the first round picks from 2010 that are new to the roster. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">If none of that meant anything to you, I’m sorry. Take my word for it, though, we are STACKED. Last year, I wrote that “<span class="apple-style-span">Canada was stacked. Not, ‘every player is pretty good’ stacked, more like ‘every player has a chance to be a star in the NHL’ stacked. In fact, 15 of the 22 players on the Canada roster have been taken in the first two rounds of the NHL draft, and two of the seven that haven’t will be first round picks in 2010, their first year of draft eligibility.” They were. This year, that is us. If you know nothing else about the United States roster, know this: Beau Bennett (20<sup>th</sup> overall), Austin Watson (18<sup>th</sup>), Jarred Tinordi (22<sup>nd</sup>), and Kevin Hayes (24<sup>th</sup>) were all Americans that were drafted in the first round last year, who DIDN’T make the team. AND THEY HAVEN’T EVEN MADE FINAL CUTS YET. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><span class="apple-style-span"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">GOD we are loaded. I’m fired up, because USA HOCKEY IS DO OR DIE!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/hCbyzELbaTk?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/hCbyzELbaTk?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></span></span></div>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-82564392162664304822010-12-07T00:39:00.000-08:002010-12-07T00:45:17.959-08:00No One Worthy<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">So, Oregon and Auburn took care of business. Actually, let’s be fair. What they did was more like <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">take care of BUSINESS. </i>The italics and caps are more than warranted, after both of the nation’s active undefeated teams beat down on their opponents. So now, we have chaos. As usual. The BCS is charged with choosing which teams are somehow ‘more worthy’ than others to play in the big payout bowls. There is a problem, though. Not just that there are three teams who are undefeated, and to somehow squeeze in a playoff or even a plus one between now and the January 6<sup>th</sup> National Championship would be impossible. Sure, it is a nice idea, but the logistics of playing <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">two </i>games in just 34 days would be a nightmare. The main problem isn’t that there are too many teams that are qualified for the championship game. It’s that there are in fact no teams that are worthy, either for the championship, or for the BCS at all. Allow me to explain.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Of course, any team with 3 or more losses can be counted out. That is obvious. But it turns out none of the two, one are zero loss teams are up to the haughty standards of the BCS. It’’s too bad, but it looks like they are just going to have to cancel them this year. Here’s why:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Two Loss Teams:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">(ACC)<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Virginia Tech Hokies<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">They lost to a 1-AA team, for crying out loud. They also lost to a WAC team, which, in terms of BCS implications, is actually worse.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">(Big 12)<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Missouri Tigers (9-2) <o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Be honest, for a second. If you had to guess Missouri’s record, you would have gone in the 7-5 to 8-4 range. Of course you would have been wrong. Missouri, somehow, managed to pull out 9 Ws this year in the Big 12, despite the fact that you have no idea who is on their team unless you are Mel Kiper or Todd McShay, and maybe not even then. I don't want to watch a bunch of nobodies in the BCS. That would suck.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Oklahoma Sooners (9-2)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Sure, they just won the Big 12 title game, which sounds impressive and all, until you consider that the Big 12 North is the NCAA big conference equivalent of the UFL. An SEC team would go like 16-0 in the Big-12 North (they would be so dominant, wins would start counting for 2). Besides, Oklahoma lost to Missouri, and we just proved that they don’t deserve to make it, so how could we take Oklahoma?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Oklahoma State Cowboys (9-2)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Same logic applies, with the Cowboys having fallen to the Sooners. More importantly, though it would make T. Boone Pickens really, really happy if the program he spent approximately $4.5 Trillion on at least parlayed that into a BCS team. For comedy sake, though, it is way funnier if the team with the most modern stadium in the nation plays in the Alamo bowl every year. Also, Mike Gundy is 42. He forgot to update us this year.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">(The Big East doesn’t have any teams with less than three losses. No joke is needed here.)<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">(Mountain West)<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Utah Utes (10-2)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">The Utes are from a non-BCS conference, which should automatically disqualify them. Since it doesn’t (YET!) an ass-kicking at the hands of Notre Dame (Notre freaking Dame) got the job done. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">(SEC)<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">LSU Tigers (10-2)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Everyone seems to agree that Les Miles is the worst football coach in the world, this despite the fact that he has won a national championship, and LSU is a contender almost every year. Still, who wants to see shitty coaching in the BCS? That would be ugly. As for the team itself, they couldn’t crack the top 100 in passing yardage. Running football? BOORING.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Arkansas Razorbacks (9-2)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">The Razorbacks, as it happens, are actually going to the Sugar Bowl to play Ohio State. This is, of course a travesty. Arkansas was beaten by Alabama, who is not good enough to be in a BCS bowl, and in college football every game <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">has</i> to matter, otherwise the INTEGRITY OF THE BESTEST REGULAR SEASON IN THE UNIVERSE gets totally bunged up. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">ONE LOSS TEAMS<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">(Big 10)<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Wisconsin Badgers (11-1)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">The Badgers beat an AQ conference team with a record around .500 by 63 points, despite giving up 20. Now, that sounds impressive, but please remember: margin of victory DOES NOT MATTER. That just wouldn’t make sense. So that win counts exactly the same as Michigan’s beating Indiana by 7 does for the BCS, which it should. Also, hanging 83 on team is totally running up the score. You know who runs up the score? Assholes. That’s who. (editors note: a better answer would be ‘teams that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> can</i> run up the score') Do we want to reward assholes? I don’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Ohio State Buckeyes(11-1)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">LeBron James is totally boys with Terell Pryor, at least according to James’s tweets. Everyone in Ohio seems to think that James is an asshole, and if Pryor likes him, that probably makes Pryor a douche too (guilt by association is like the 50021<sup>st</sup> lowest item on the BCS’s veracity scale). Speaking of douches, Gordon Gee. ‘Nuff Said. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Michigan State Spartans(11-1)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Michigan State lost to Iowa, who lost to Minnesota, who lost to South Dakota State. A 1-AA TEAM! Therefore, by the standards of the BCS, as I understand them, Michigan State lost to a 1-AA team. There is no way you could let a team that lost to a 1-AA team in the BCS. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">(Pac-10)<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Stanford Cardinal (11-1)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">NERDS! NERDS! FUCKING NERDS!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">(The BCS is a party. Stanford is the nerds. Anyone who has seen a college movie- and it is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">college </i>football no less- knows that nerds don’t get invited to parties. That’s just good science. So Andrew Luck has to play beer pong in his dorm room with water because they don’t want to drink the dirt that gets on the ball and it is way easier to hide if the RA comes by when you just have side beers- I think this is what nerds do anyways, but I wouldn’t know since I am totally in a fraternity and go to parties and am awesome like that, just like everyone with a blog-, by which I mean go to the Emerald Nuts Why the Fuck are we Playing Football in AT&T Park Bowl)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">(WAC)<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Nevada Wolfpack(12-1)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">I essentially said as much in the Utah blurb, but it is fucking ridiculous that I have to even acknowledge these Mickey Mouse conferences. Mark May totally sees the light. There is no way these second rate hacks could play with the likes of the big conferences. Anyways, Nevada lost to Hawai’i , and they aren’t even a part of the contingent 48 United States. Some of you may not think that is a legitimate reason to knock them as a football team, but to you I say this: TOTALLY FUCKIN IS.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Boise State Broncos (12-1)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Boise State had their chance, but they blew it. All they had to do was make a lousy field goal, and they didn’t do it. Clearly they don’t want to be there very badly. There are only 10 BCS spots. May as well at least give them to someone who wants them. It is just the system that Coach Pete won’t STOP SAYING HE HAS FAITH IN, somehow, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">UNDEFEATEDS<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">TCU Horned Frogs (12-0)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">For a third time, I will remind you that the people who play football in small conferences should be considered sub-human. Apart from that, TCU wears purple, and their quarterback is a ginger, or a ‘daywalker’ if you want to use the scientific term (I get most of my scientific terms from South Park). <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">On the field, TCU’s resume appears strong, but the fact is they only played one big boy school, and that was Oregon State. They always lose to those shitty small schools, and therefore don’t count. That makes TCU’s best win, if I am not mistaken, an overtime decision over a Plano East High School team with 3 kids who have made D-1 (real D-1, not pussy Mountain West shit) commitments.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Auburn Tigers (13-0)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Why shouldn’t Auburn get to play in a BCS Bowl? You mean other than the fact that their quarterback may or may not make NFL league minimum? I mean that seems like a pretty good reason, but okay, we can do one more.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Auburn squeaked by pretty much every team that they played. The ‘Bama game should have been a loss. Clemson should have been a loss. Kentucky should have been a loss. Mississippi State should have been a loss. South Carolina should have been a loss. So that makes them, what, like 8-5? You are really going to put a 9-5 team in the BCS? That would be ridiculous. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Oregon Ducks (12-0)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">This one is the hardest to disprove, but dig this: Phil Knight, of Nike wealth, gave the Oregon program millions of dollars this year, and each of the last few years. Most of it, presumably, went towards facilities, but what if it didn’t? What if they used it to pay LaMarcus James a lucrative salary? What then? THAT WOULD TOTALLY MAKE THEM INELIGABLE! Just sayin’. No smoke without fire.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">As for this Oregon team, they played New Mexico, a weak Tennessee team, and Portland State out of conference. On top of that, the Pac-10 was pretty weak this year. So Oregon’s schedule clearly didn’t have the integrity needed to go to a BCS bowl. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">So there you go. No one deserves the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">honor </i>of playing in the extremely lucrative, but ultimately meaningless BCS bowls. I don’t like it any more than you do, but that is just the way it is. Cancelling the bowls entirely is the only fair thing to do. You need to be deserving to play in a BCS bowl, and this year, no one is. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Except for UConn. They totally earned it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-60271111020699566282010-12-02T02:45:00.000-08:002010-12-02T14:38:34.972-08:00Nit Picks: Fighting Through<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Busy this week…let’s get right after it. I am typing this before I really get going, and I’m just going to kind of roll with it, but I don’t feel any obligation to get to 10 this week, so I probably won’t. Shorter? Yes. Sweeter? You be the judge. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">1. This is going to come as a surprise to regular readers of this blog, but there is something that the football media has latched on to that I think is absolutely moronic. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Shocking. I know. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Anyways, this week it is the whole Derek Anderson ‘smilegate’ that is insane. For those of you lucky enough to be unfamiliar with the ‘scandal,’ essentially, Anderson was seen by the MNF cameras, laughing at something on the sideline while the Cards were getting crushed by the Niners on Monday night. A couple of people latched on to this, and Anderson was asked about it in the post game press conference, leading to an absolutely fantastic meltdown at the podium. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Now, first things first: I am absolutely in favor of anything, <i>anything</i>, that could lead to a potential ‘PLAYOFFS!?’, ‘THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE,’ or ‘<i>PRACTICTE?’ </i>moment. These things are, as far as I am concerned, the height of comedy. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdUr5hF0yGc">THOSE COORS LIGHT</a> ADS AND <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exOxUAntx8I">DJ STEVE PORTER CLIPS</a> AREN’T GOING TO MAKE THEMSELVES DAMMIT. That aspect of the whole situation, I am in full support of. (And for the record, I don’t think less of Anderson for it. I would have a meltdown like that every two weeks if I was in the NFL. Reporters, I’m sure, would openly try to bate me into it, and they would be right to. I throw a temper tantrum and go on a 5 minute monologue when my housemates get the kitchen dirty for fuck sakes, which is ridiculous, but on the other hand THERE WAS NO NEED TO LEAVE THAT BOWL IN THE SINK, MATT. THE FUCKING DISHWASHER IS RIGHT THERE. AND CLEAN THE GODDAMN SKILLET. WERE YOU RAISED IN A FUCKING BARN? I DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE. THIS IS INSANE. THIS HAS TO BE THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ANYONE EVER. HAS TO BE. NOT EVEN JOKING.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">The criticism, though, both from John Gruden during the telecast and from those in the press conference after the game is downright nonsensical. It represents a lack of understanding of basic human psychology, oblivion towards the nature of competitive spirit, and a general shortage of anything to say or ask about that may have value. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Obviously, playing college and high school hockey haven’t taught me <i>absolutely everything</i> that there is to know about being an NFL quarterback. Still, I know what it is like to play competitive sports. I also happen to be <i>that guy, </i>a little bit when it comes to competing.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">There are plenty of things I could be accused of as an athlete (including but not limited to undersized, inconsistent, and white), but uninterested, or not competitive enough are not among them. When things aren’t going my way, when the team is losing, it fucks up my day. I can become a dick. I get pissed. I want to punish myself, if I think that I could have been better. I don’t want to talk to people if it isn’t about how we can turn it around. Nothing else matters, and it pisses me off when others don’t share my anger. Sometimes, I take it too far. I have throw things, punched things, and yelled at teammates (the team as a whole, I would never single a guy out). I hate losing at anything, and when it is something that I care about, like hockey for me, or like football for Derek Anderson, it will absolutely destroy your mood.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Having said that, I can’t count the number of times that I have laughed during times like these even though I was pissed off. Believe me it isn’t because you don’t care, or because you don’t take it seriously. Losing and anger, not so much on the field, but definitely in the locker room and on the sidelines, creates tension. Even if you have never played a sport in your life, you can relate to the fact that tension usually leads to tension being broken. What breaks tension? Funny shit. What do you do when you see funny shit? You laugh. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">It comes down to one thing. These guys had nothing to say, so they decided to go with this. I actually blame Gruden more than the guy who incited the press conference rant. The issue had been raised by the post game, and the guy needed something to talk about. The reason Gruden is in the booth, on the other hand, is because he was an NFL head coach, and presumably can think of something insightful to say about the game, and he doesn’t have to bang on about unrelated or in this case, untrue crap. Of course, that is exactly what they do 99% of the time, but that doesn’t make it any more forgivable. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Then again, John Gruden wouldn’t understand because he doesn’t have human emotions, and the dudes asking at the presser were probably jaded douches looking for anything to make a guy that they are jealous of look bad, so I guess it is kind of understandable. Still, though, fucking stupid.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Random Stuff OF THE WEEK</i><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">2. Drew Magary link of the Week- <a href="http://deadspin.com/5701312/the-haters-guide-to-taylor-swift?skyline=true&s=i">The Haters Guide to Taylor Swift</a><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Magary is awesome; I am clearly on record about that, but COUNTERPOINT MOTHERFUCKER:<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">How could you, Drew? How could you. Attack America’s sweetheart like that? Why Taylor? Sure, you feel like you have had her shoved down your throat the last few months, or perhaps years, but think about it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">It could be so much worse. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">It could be Katy Perry. Or Lady Gaga. Or Beyonce (it kind of is). Or just about anyone else. At least Tay-Swizz, as my teenage sister calls her (shit…that probably isn’t helping my point), has some level of musical </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">virtuosity. Her producers do, anyways. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">And frankly, I don’t care if that is the case, or if it is actually her. I’m not trying to hire her as a fucking minstrel or anything. I download her shit off of iTunes and it sounds sick. That’s good enough. I could give a fuck if it was made by the cute girl on the cover or by a 200 hour editing session in some studio. I’m perfectly happy living with the illusion if need be. <span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">You also referred to it as ‘training bra music,’ to which I say…shit, you probably have a point there. Let’s move on. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Lyrically, you broke down the implausibility of the song <i>You Belong With Me. </i>You said that “<span class="apple-style-span">This woman is a fucking ROCK STAR and a millionaire. She's, like, ninety stages above the cheer captain. Cheer captains are fucking special ed students compared to her. And she never wears fucking t-shirts. She wears $10,000 Halston gowns and all kinds of other sparkly shit.” Hat off. That was hilarious. I laughed out loud, no joke. But there are a couple of problems. The notion that the songs<i> might (GASP!) not be based in reality</i> is something that I just might be able to get over. Again, I am pretty fucking happy to live with the illusion, thanks. And how many songs actually are true stories? 1 in 100? 1 in 1000? Fucking none? I’m leaning towards the third option. You mean that Kenny Rodgers didn’t actually sit next to a gambler on a train? What CAN I believe in?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">There is another problem with that. That song SUCKS. It may actually be one of her worst songs. Blame the demented masses for shoving that B-side piece of shit down our throats. Have you ever heard <i>Love Story? </i>It is AWESOME. I’m not saying that <i>Whit Horse</i> changed the way I thought about love, but I wouldn’t deny it if someone else suggested it. <i>The Way I Loved You </i>is 5000 times better than <i>You Belong With Me</i>. The first time I heard <i>Enchanted </i>I fucking CRIED (not really, but still). When my buddy said that <i>Dear John</i> made him angry at John Mayer I laughed and called him a pussy. Then I listened to the song. I wanted to go to Fairfield, CT and KICK HIS FUCKING ASS (HOW COULD YOU DO THAT!? HOW COULD YOU HURT HER? SHE WAS JUST A GIRL YOU EVIL FUCK!). Saying that Swift sucks because you don’t like <i>You Belong With Me</i> is like saying the SEC sucks because you saw a Vanderbilt game and were unimpressed. </span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">3. TEACHER QUOTE OF THE WEEK: <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">‘so the ghetto blaster was a very important technological innovation.’<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">She really said that. I have nothing to add.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">4. BILL SIMMONS LINK OF THE WEEK<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/101201&sportCat=nba">The Color Purple</a></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">I have to admit, I really enjoyed this column about Bill Simmons’s 5 year old daughter and the NBA. Shut up.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">5. REASON AMERICA KICKS ASS OF THE WEEK<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">We hunt on full stomachs. ‘Nuff said.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">6. On Sunday, I gave what I considered to be a pretty reasoned recap of where I stood with College Football and the Boise State Broncos. I tried to keep the anger and bitterness that could easily have found their way into the account out of it, and I think that I was largely able to do that. That doesn’t mean it isn’t there. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Anyways, here is all of the hate filled, angry and mean diatribe that I really wanted to post immediately, but held off on in favor of actually writing something that didn’t prominently involve the Caps Lock button.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">First of all, and most importantly, I need to get something off of my chest that has been bothering me since Friday. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">(clearing throat.) (brace yourselves)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">THE KICK WAS GOOD! IT WAS FUCKING GOOD. I SWEAR TO GOD. IT WENT IN. LOOK AT THE VIDEO. I’LL EVEN EMBED IT. IM WAITING, JUST WATCH.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">FUCKINGDAMNITI’MGOINGTOKILLEVERYONEBECUASEITWASFUCKINGINHOWCOULDYOUPOSSIBLYMISSTHATWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCK! (<i>breaks something)</i> There is even scientific proof! Here! <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1225.snc4/155757_1612655349115_1018210752_31633540_383495_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1225.snc4/155757_1612655349115_1018210752_31633540_383495_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
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</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Sure, it actually isn’t all that scientific and relies entirely on where he decided to say it hit, knowing if that would make it good or not, BUT HE TOTALLY GOT IT RIGHT! This isn’t play anger, like I usually spew here. This is actual, we got screwed the fuck over, vindictive rage. Seriously, go fuck yourself you fucking blind shit back judge who called it no good. I have no idea what the fuck you were looking at. Also, go fuck yourself, University of Nevada-Reno for being a cheap, second rate, Mickey Mouse BS program that can’t even afford REAL FUCKING GOALPOSTS THAT WOULD HAVE FUCKING SOLVED THIS PROBLEM (you assholes totally knew that it would come into play and seal the biggest win in your programs history). And finally, what the fuck, college football, for not making this a reviewable play. Even baseball can review similar plays, with home runs, and they both act like it is and would prefer that it was fucking 1884. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">That was, obviously, the most egregious mistake, but there were others. With a couple of minutes left, I even told the room at large that I didn’t even care if we won anymore. The game had been rendered completely meaningless, in my opinion, because the officiating had been so bad. It was, at that point, a crapshoot. Losing was worthless. Winning was equally meaningless.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Sure, I was just pissed off and being childish, but the refs did suck the whole game. The most obvious example was the phantom kick catch interference call where the Nevada returner heard Doug Martin coming to LIGHT HIM THE EFF UP, realized he was an imbecile for not calling fair catch with a former linebacker turned beast running back bearing down on him, and made up for it by not catching the ball, about a half second before Martin lit him up anyways. This was somehow ‘before or simultaneous to’ his catching of the ball, which, again, never really took place because he is a pansy. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">That changed the whole game. It went from being Boise’s ball in Nevada territory, to being Nevada’s at midfield. Our defense had needed the rest badly. It was also followed by a few phantom 15 yard penalties, including two PIs, even though I’m pretty sure Nevada’s secondary actually wrestled Titus Young to the ground, duct taped his mouth and tied his hands to his feet behind his back while he tried to catch a 15 yard crossing pattern at one point with no flag. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Not that I’m bitter.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">(For the record, that was me trying to control myself. Really, I would have been happy with a long string of </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">profanities and mean spirited jokes about how shitty Reno is and how bad a school UNRcc is.)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">7. Now I’m pissed off. This would be a good time to mention that I can’t even give a shit about the Cowboys anymore. It was nice that they almost mounted a comeback on Thanksgiving, but I couldn’t bring myself to be mad when they fell short. God, this has been an <i>awesome </i>sports year. Sox were done by mid-July. Cowboys were done by the start of November. Boise State broke my GD heart. I swear, the Sharks are probably going to miss the playoffs, and the Warriors are…just kidding I don’t give a shit about the NBA.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">8. MUSIC RANT OF THE WEEK (Now with 100% more football!)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Hey, University of Alabama,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">We have a pretty good relationship. You are fratty and preppy as hell. I like that. You care way too much about football. I like that. Nick Saban is the highest paid state employee. I acknowledge this is kind of fucked up but HOW MANY NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS HAS GOVERNER RILEY WON? ZERO. THAT’S HOW MANY. So I like that. My sister wants to look at you. I’m for it. Law school in Tuscaloosa? I could see it.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">But you fucked up. You fired the kid who played the songs taunting Cam Newton in warm-ups of the Iron Bowl. You meant to promote him. <i>Promote. </i>Not <i>fire. </i>Not sure how you crossed those two up. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">I mean come on. It is the Iron Bowl for christsake. It is like half a step behind full on international warfare. I have been to Bama for Thanksgiving. This shit divides families. You can’t talk a little trash over the loud speakers before the game? I, for one, think that you earned that right when you got 80,000 fucking people to come to a spring scrimmage. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Then there are the songs themselves. One of them was <i>Son of a Preacher Man, </i>by Dusty Springfield (because Newton’s father, the accused, is a minister). That song is <i>fucking awesome.</i> I’m listening to it right now. Hear that beat? <i>Then he’d look into my eyes. Lord Knows to my surprise…</i>My head is bobbing. Involuntarily. <i>Only one who could ever reach me…</i> I am in the library. People are staring at me. I don’t care. <i>The only one, who could ever teach me…</i> I might start singing. This is a great song. How can you punish him for playing that? <i>WAS THE SON OF A PREACHER MAN!</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">(and no, stoners, and most people under about 40, that isn't the intro from <i>Hits from the Bong. </i>Cypress Hill stole that shit.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><o:p></o:p></i></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">The other one was <i>Take the Money and Run</i> by Steve Miller Band (for obvious reasons)<i>. </i>Again, a good song. Not as good as <i>Preacher Man</i> (LOVE that song), but still, pretty solid. Besides, that is FUCKING HILARIOUS. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">So, yeah, I won’t stay mad long Alabama, but you really should have promoted that guy.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">9. <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Bronco-Nation-Loves-Kyle-Brotzman/163792630324440">The Bronco Nation Loves Kyle Brotzman</a><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">The dude is the program’s leading scorer. He won the Fiesta Bowl last year. The team never should have been in that position. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">GAMBLING? Gambling.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">I am at like 2500 words…making this short and sweet:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Philadelphia Eagles (-8) over Houston Texans<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Minnesota Vikings (-5.5) over Buffalo Bills<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">New Orleans Saints (-6.5) over Cincinnati Bengals<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Atlanta Falcons (-3) over Tampa Bay Buccaneers<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Indianapolis Colts (-5) over Dallas Cowboys<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Pittsburgh Steelers (+3) over Baltimore Ravens<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">USC (-6) over UCLA<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Nevada (-8) over LA Tech<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Boise State (-37.5) over Utah State<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">South Carolina (+5.5) over Auburn<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></i></div>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-9157787293301444322010-12-02T01:17:00.001-08:002010-12-02T01:17:17.985-08:00SOCIAL NETWORKING IS TOTALLY THE WAVE OF THE FUTUREObstructed View Sports is now on Facebook. Like it there. <br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Obstructed-View-Sports/112304822171152">http://www.facebook.com/pages/Obstructed-View-Sports/112304822171152</a>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-66951339152694845092010-11-29T00:35:00.000-08:002010-12-02T21:02:00.687-08:00Bucking the Trend<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">At the end of the day, I just like watching them play football. That is going to have to be enough. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">It needs to be, if I am going to continue to be a fan of the Boise State Broncos (and I am). Well, if I want to enjoy being a fan, anyways. It sucks, sure, that with two missed field goals, countless missed calls, and one missed opportunity, that everything changed for ‘Bronco Nation,’ but I’m afraid it did.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: right;"><a href="http://cdn3.sbnation.com/entry_photo_images/727708/54062_boise_st__nevada_football.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://cdn3.sbnation.com/entry_photo_images/727708/54062_boise_st__nevada_football.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px;">No superlative would be too superlativey in describing how hard Boise’s loss was to take on Friday night.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px;">The entire state (myself included) is in a state of catatonic shock.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px;">Stomach punch falls way short, in fact.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px;">The feeling was more reminiscent of a punch that landed a few inches south of there.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px;"> </span><br />
<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></span> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Just 8 hours earlier, the sky was the limit. Alabama was rolling on Auburn, and looked poised to take out the number two seed, the one that was presumably going to be the only thing that could stand between Big Blue and a spot in the national championship game by the time the polls came out on Sunday. Then the second half happened. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Auburn caught every break. Cam Newton somehow won everyone over to his Heisman campaign with 218 yards passing and 1.8 yards per carry (I’m still not sure how exactly such a performance did this, but the Auburn mess is a different column entirely). Somehow, they managed to sneak by the Tide. I was pissed, partly because I like to casually root for ‘Bama in the SEC, but mostly because of the implications that it could have had for Boise. Still, there was hope, since Oregon was sure to be challenged by Arizona.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">They were. Sort of. The Wildcats carried a lead into half time and appeared to be handling the potent Oregon attack. Unfortunately, Mike Stoops made a decision that hasn’t received nearly as much scrutiny as you would expect, sending out his third string players for the second half (as far as I could tell. There was no way it was the same group). The move backfired, and the Ducks absolutely stomped the Wildcats in the second half. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The whole afternoon was <i>agonizing. </i>I made a point multiple times in the last couple of weeks, and it was grinding me as I watched on Friday. I absolutely HATE rooting for random teams based on potential BCS implications. I have to, though. There is simply no alternative. Sure, I would have been rooting for Alabama anyways, but it would have been a much more enjoyable experience if I had been on their side for the sake of being on their side, not for the sake of the computer polls. Arizona, on the other hand, should mean nothing to me. I don’t like Arizona. I don’t want to root for them.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Friday afternoon also demonstrated the other reason that I am, for want of a better term, sick of this crap. The other problem with constantly rooting for upsets is that most of the time they are potential upsets for a reason. That reason: usually they don’t happen. It leads to a whole lot of losing. Somehow, rooting for a 10-0 team had lead to a lot of demoralizing Saturdays this fall. On this particular day, it was two losses that could be described as devastating. A late lead blown and a second half shellacking are both hard ways to go down. By the 8:20 kickoff, I was already feeling 0-2 on the day.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Anyways, a jump to number two was out of the question by the time the Broncos kicked off, which was tough, but it would be forgotten once the game started and we got to watch them do their thing. That was my attitude when my buddy texted me saying that he was frustrated by the first two games, and nervous about even watching Boise. <i>Forget that,</i> I replied, <i>watching that was agony. This is the one that we get to enjoy. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">For the third time, the first half went great. 24-7. We were playing like…well, Boise State. Nevada looked like another WAC team that we were going to roll. The afternoon had been forgotten. The usual sorts of thoughts were cropping back up. 48-14 at this pace. That would be good. That’s a statement. Can we get 50? Oregon State is tough enough. The SEC Championship game is no joke. At the very least we were going to jump TCU. Everything seemed okay. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Then, everything blew up. It is painful to recap. Brutal officiating. Missed opportunities. An offense that stalled, seemingly for the first time all year. More brutal officiating. We had a football game. A defense that couldn’t get off the field. The ball is bouncing Nevada’s way. Nevada has the ball in our territory. Down 1 score. Toa and Kaepernick are having their way. Third down conversion. Third down conversion. Tie game. Wait? <i>What the..</i>? TIE GAME!?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">It probably sounds hard to believe, given what would ensue, but this was the low point. I still thought that we would pull it out. I had faith that they couldn’t stop us, and in a way I was right. But this was the low point, because the realization was that in the bigger picture, it probably wasn’t enough. Even if we won, all of a sudden, it seemed unlikely that it would do anything other than keep us where we were. We could still win the game, but the opportunity was lost. If you have never rooted for a mid-major in this twisted system, I cannot possibly explain what this feels like. A combination of emptiness and frustration are as good as I can do. Like being cut from a team you know you deserved to make. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Having said that, the feeling was pushed aside when Titus Young did what Titus Young does, and outran defenders playing with a 25 yard head start, pulling in a Kellen Moore bomb, and setting up a field goal with two seconds left. If you care about sports enough to be reading this, though, you know what happened next. I could rant about how I want Kyle Brotzman’s blood (I don’t), or about how I have studied the ‘missed’ field goal and really <i>believe</i> that it was good (I do), but it would be a waste of time. You saw it. We lost. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">It is still hard to put it all in perspective. The nation’s longest winning streak was done. Jumping TCU was done. A top 2 finish was done. For a year, Boise had been relevant. Not anymore. It all felt…<i>wasted.</i> The time breaking it down had been for nothing. For a scenario that would never come to life. The calories burned caring had been a lead up to a massive disappointment. Two questions stuck out:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Was this the peak of the Boise State Football program?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Could I even do this again next year?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">It sounds kind of silly. College football is, almost without question, my second favorite sport to follow, just behind the NHL. On Friday, I thought I might be done with it. No joke. The emotional investment for something that disappeared so quickly was certainly a factor, but that wasn’t really it. It wasn’t the loss. It was the emotion right before the loss that threatened to drive me away. Was it worth following a sport where I had to go through a day (a season, really), of being disappointed when teams that I don’t care about get wiped out by superior squads, only to have it rendered meaningless because the biggest </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px;">game of my team’s season was too close? The answer seemed to be no. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">A post game walk around the neighborhood in single digit temperatures (ill advised given a head cold, but satisfying none the less) and a night to sleep on it made it clear to me that there is no way I’m not watching college football just as avidly next year (although admittedly I had none of my usual interest in Saturday’s games). I can’t give it up, not that I even want to. I need to change something, though. The obvious thing to let go of would be the intensity. That isn’t realistic, though, either. If I am going to watch, I am going to be a die hard for the only thing my home state produces of national relevance other than potatoes. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Still, I have to change something, which brings me back to the first question. I don’t know if Boise State peaked last week. It will be impossible to say, at least until next year when the Kellen Moore era reaches its end and we know what ends up being accomplished with 11 under center. Even if it wasn’t the peak, though, it was the end of an era. The first regular season loss in three years ended the aura of invincibility. It may well have taken the Broncos out of national relevance (for now), and out of the National Title discussion. It could actually help. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The thing about the Broncos over the last three years is that every game mattered so much that, in a weird way, none of them mattered. Paradoxical as that may sound, it was the case. No one win could have significance. Not even wins over Oregon or Virginia Tech were victories unto themselves. They were steps in an attempt to get to a perfect season. And to have chaos rein at the top of the polls. And to be the best non-AQ. And to be high enough in the computers. And to have the teams we beat win their other games so that our strength of schedule was high enough. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">It is just the 500001<sup>st</sup> way of saying that the system sucks. The problem is, college football isn’t going to ditch it. That doesn’t mean that I can’t. That’s my goal for next year. I can’t institute a playoff, but I can get rid of the BCS. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">It is game by game. I will watch other games and root for the team that I like more, or not at all. I’m done worrying if Oregon State was strong enough to make that a quality win, or if we were convincing enough to be the top ranked non-AQ. I am going to enjoy watching Moore make every throw. And watching Doug Martin run through tacklers. I want wins to be wins again. Not auditions for voters, or part of a run to some bowl. This has been a great college football season. I have enjoyed it. But it has been frustrating as hell. It shouldn’t be, and if I just enjoy games as games, nothing more, it won’t be.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">So in the words of one of the greatest speakers of all time, Winston Churchill, ‘screw it’ (he had to have said it at some point). I’m fired up for Utah State. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://a323.yahoofs.com/ymg/ept_sports_ncaaf_experts__44/ept_sports_ncaaf_experts-440703225-1290479815.jpg?ymHzLIEDBmQtPSef" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="215" src="http://a323.yahoofs.com/ymg/ept_sports_ncaaf_experts__44/ept_sports_ncaaf_experts-440703225-1290479815.jpg?ymHzLIEDBmQtPSef" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div></div>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-34525674917154479732010-11-26T21:13:00.000-08:002010-11-26T21:13:32.821-08:00Nit Picks: Rankings<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s rankings time! I’m only going to do top 10, though, because no one actually gives a shit if you have South Carolina over Texas A&M for the coveted 17 spot, even if that could totally be the difference between the Kragen Auto Parts Pensacola Bowl or the American Van Lines Long Haul Trucking Bowl or whatever. The college football postseason is so dumb. God.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">(Stewing)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Anyways, let’s keep it to 10, but why stop at college?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">1. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">College Football Rankings<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><br />
</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">1. Boise State- Come on. They are number one. They just are. They do whatever they want on the field. They don’t make mistakes. Their defense is stifling. Their offense is unstoppable. They are the best team in the nation. There is no doubt about it, schedule be damned.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">2. Auburn- They are the best team in the SEC, which should get them into the National Championship game. Sure, I have every intention of seeing them get completely exposed this weekend, but for now that is good enough for number 2.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">3. Oregon- Their offense is a juggernaut, but I am entirely unimpressed with the Pac-10. Stanford is good, Oregon is good, and Arizona might be good I guess. But no one else is even a little bit imposing this year.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">4. TCU- ANDY DAULTON SUCKS. I don’t know, I have nothing rational to say about these purple mothe-…you get the idea. I hate them.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">5. Stanford- I could just copy and paste the sentences above. I refuse to say anything positive about Stanford. I played them in hockey, lit a kid up, and he said I was ‘just mad because I couldn’t get into Stanford.’ That’s not true at all. I didn’t want to go to Stanford. I looked at Stanford and hated Stanford. I was mad because I didn’t get into Northwestern or Dartmouth. So there.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">6. Wisconsin<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">7. LSU- Somehow they are quietly at only one loss in the SEC. I don’t think that the conference is all that strong this year, at least compared to the last few, but that still seems odd.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">8. Michigan State- There are three big-10 teams that deserve to be in the top 10. I am speechless. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">9. Ohio State- <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Despite</i> their president, who, to a man, everyone seems to agree is a moron. Good work dude.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">10. Alabama- Still the most talented team in the nation. Somehow, this information is erroneous. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">2. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Power Rankings<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">1. Nuclear- Efficient and clean. Really, it should be our number one source at this point. I blame The Simpsons for giving it a bad name, and also the whole Chernobyl mess, which is admittedly something to be avoided.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">2. Solar- According to no lesser source than Wikipedia, the Sun is approximately 149600000 KM from the earth (that’s the mean distance, our orbit is elliptical). Since my only functional measure of distance is the number of hours it takes to drive somewhere, I have no idea how far that is. Sounds like a long way though. Still, with a well placed solar grid, I’m told that this is a viable energy source. Sounds crazy, but what do I know.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">3. Lithium Batteries- Lithium is fucking awesome. I love my cell phone battery, and my Ipod, and my laptop. Can you imagine if we still had to break out fucking Duracells for that shit? That would be fucking <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">terrible. </i>Also, did you know that if you had $1,000,000 to invest in 1981, the best thing to spend it on wouldn’t be Microsoft, or waiting for Google, or even oil. The biggest return you could get over those 30 years would be if you were to buy shares in lithium. The stuff was useless back then, now it is one of the most important substances on earth. You probably didn’t know that, since I just made it up, but it seems to make sense, no?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">4. Hydroelectric- We have plenty of salt water which is more or less useless if you happen to not be a fish, we may as well use it for something, right? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">5. Fossil Fuels- Sure, oil gets a bad rap, and we think about it as expensive, but when you think about it, a gallon of it costs less than a gallon of milk, and will make the standard car run for 20-30 miles. That’s pretty damn impressive if you ask me. So to the alarmists talking about how we’re going to run out of oil soon, I say this, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">yeah, but chances are we’ll be dead by then so who cares?</i> Seriously. If we can make it to 2120 or so (I’m giving myself plenty of breathing room) with oil, I’m good. Let my children’s children worry about hydrogen fuel cells and other confusing shit like that. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">6. Wind- Kind of badass if you think about it. I mean we can take moving air and turn that into Xbox and TV and lights and so on and so forth. Really though, those windmills look weird as hell, and they aren’t very efficient, so wind power is dropped to the second half of the power rankings.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">7. Black Power- Kind of dated but holding on. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">8. Power House- Where I live…relegated to 8 because it is a dump and we have a shitty landlord. But other than that it’s great!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">9. Coal- The worst of the mass-produced powers. I’m not a hard core environmentalist or anything, but this shit kills the areas that it comes from, is dirty to produce power with, and isn’t even that effective. Great for barbecuing, not great for powering cities’ grids. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure the Chilean miners were mining coal, and that turned out to be a great story. Sure, they might not think that being trapped underground for more than a month was worth it, but who didn’t enjoy watching them come out and then play soccer against the guards of the Nazi prison (wait, it was the relief workers…the Nazis was the movie <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Victory</i>). That’s just basic utilitarianism. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">10. Copper Batteries- I think it is time to get these out of our lives entirely, no? I don’t want to evoke the old ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">it’s 2010 and…’</i> but seriously, I thought that those annoying little cylinders would be a thing of the past by now. But alas, I still have to deal with them for shit like my remote control and Xbox controllers. Come on science, I need a little more effort out of you on this one. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">3. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">NFL Power Rankings<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">1. New England- THE FAHKIN PATS AHH BACK BABY! WELKAH! DANNY FAHKIN WOODHEAD! TAWMY BRADY! (dion branch), (ben jarvis green ellis)…you get the idea<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">2. Atlanta- Just like I predicted before the year, who’s with me! <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">3. Philadelphia- Turns out they were right to get rid of McNabb. Who knew that Kolb could carry them this far?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">4. New York Jets- I need more Rex Ryan in my life. I have Hard Knocks Withdrawals every time the Jets are mentioned. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">5. Green Bay- I have<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">6. Pittsburgh- Nothing to <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">7. New Orleans- Say about<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">8. Baltimore- these <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">9. Chicago- teams.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">10. Tampa Bay- Wait what? Fuck me I really just put the Bucks in the top 10, didn’t I? Whatever, I’ll stand by it. Hard to argue with 7-3.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">4. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ranking Rankings<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">1-4. Mine- This should be obvious.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">5. AP- Boise will almost certainly be the number 2 team after Auburn gets messed up by the Tide on Friday, so we’re cool here.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">6. USA Today- Gets the slight nod over…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">7.Harris Poll- Because the Harris Poll has the gap between Boise and TCU a little bit larger than the USA today.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">8. ESPN NFL Power Rankings- Why not right?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">9. SI NFL Power Rankings- Ditto.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">10. BCS Rankings- I guess with Boise poised to pass TCU with a Nevada win, and even move into contention if Auburn or Oregon slip up, I can’t complain too much, but the rankings are a representation of the system as a whole, and therefore should never be any higher than this. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">2687210915. The ‘JS’ Computer Rankings- They got straightened out a little bit this week, but in week 12, these rankings bore absolutely <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">zero</i> resemblance to the rest of the polls. They had Stanford at 3, and Boise at 12. Arkansas and Missouri were top 10 teams. Wisconsin and Ohio State weren’t. On top of that, they evened out with the rest of the polls enough this week that that even though nothing really happened last weekend, they bear almost no resemblance to the week before. Do you know what that says about these rankings? That they value different stuff? That they are a different philosophy? No. IT MEANS THAT THEY ARE FUCKING <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">WRONG</i>! That’s all caps <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and</i> italics. That’s how wrong they are.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">5. Reason America Kicks Ass of the Week (Which actually is tangentially related to football)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Uh…Thanksgiving…obviously. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Now, pretty much any of the reasons why America Kicks Ass, along with a million other things, could be categorized as ‘why the terrorists hate us.’ But Thanksgiving is a pretty damn good reason. The entire point of the holiday is to eat as much as we possibly can and then watch football, all while reflecting upon how fucking awesome we have it. Gluttony and excess aren’t a byproduct of Thanksgiving, they are the entire point. Now, some might counter that by saying that the real point isn’t to stuff yourself with turkey and potatoes and delicious, delicious gravy. All over everything. With the cranberry mixed in, kind of bordering the gravy so that they get mixed a little bit, but not enough to clash. And the lightest softest bread imaginable on the side. Just soaking up the goodness of the plate. What were we talking about? Oh yeah. Some might say that isn’t the point. Aside from being wrong, though, they are missing the fact that really, the fact that we take an entire day to think about what we are thankful for means we have enough that we could pretty much be described as excessive and gluttonous.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">And that is freaking awesome.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">(Postscript from this year’s edition- everyone forgets this every year, but after overeating the turkey, potatoes, stuffing pie etc, everyone is moody and tired and just wants to lie around. Usually, this wouldn’t bother me, since that pretty much sums up my day to day life. The problem is, I eat like a goddamn glutton every day, so I am much less bothered by the pounds upon pounds of food weighing me down. Sure, I go a little harder than normal on Thanksgiving, but I am no worse for wear. So after dinner, everyone wanted to be left alone to sit there and try to consciously speed up the digestion process, whereas I was ready to go. Annoying to say the least.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">6. (Lifted from my own facebook status, but…sue me I guess) <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The Cowboys should take the interim tag off of Jason Garrett as head coach based on his red flag throwing ability alone. Sure, he is 2 and 0 on challenges as I type this in the first half of the Dallas-New Orleans game, but that is entirely beside the point. I’m talking about his form in actually, physically throwing the challenge flag on to the field. It is impeccable. If I knew how to download something off of my DVR I would show you, but that sounds like a lot of work so you will have to take my word for it. Step, clear out with the play card, turn the shoulders, release and follow through. It is beautiful, I’m telling you.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">7. Did I mention I hate rooting for teams that aren’t Boise State? Because I hate it. Glad that’s clear.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">8. I’m not feeling that ranty right now (blame tryptophan), so the music rant of the week is going on hiatus for Thanksgiving. Sorry. Instead, here are two absolutely insane videos of Paul McCartney that will make you feel worthless and talentless. Enjoy.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/q08oC_34Mcc?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/q08oC_34Mcc?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/bv2ti3okj04?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/bv2ti3okj04?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object></span></span><br />
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</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">9. This is the best four day weekend of the year as a football fan. It really is. We go from Thursday all the way through to Sunday with a schedule chocked full of legitimately meaningful games. This year is no exception, and if anything, is even better than usual.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Thursday, the NFL games. Friday, an orgy of BCS implications. Saturday, as good as most Saturdays, then NFL on Sunday. Unreal. Then we have the worst Monday night game of the year with the Niners and Cardinals, but I’m not even mad. I’ll be worn out by then anyways.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">10. So, last week I was 8-1. What’s that? High school game? Yes. I know that one was a high school game, but A WIN IS A WIN DAMMIT! So what if I made up the line? I could have made it a pick ‘em. Or favored Suffield by 25. I’m counting it. Anyways, we are being distracted from the issue at hand. Which is that I was 8-1 last weekend and that makes me awesome. I am holding everyone at UC-Berkeley personally responsible for fucking up my perfect weekend. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">GAMBLING<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Way too many good games to cherry pick games that I can win this week. I’m sticking to the big boys this time. God I’m pumped.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Alabama (-4.5) over Auburn<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The Iron Bowl may, in fact, be the best thing in the world. True story. The entire state goes absolutely apeshit. That’s something that I can get behind. Anyways, Alabama is better, and Auburn’s defense is pours. Make it 3 in a row for the Tide.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Arizona (+20) over Oregon<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A HOMER! I SWEAR IT IS COMPLETELY ABOVE THE BOARD THAT I AM PICKING AGAINST THE TWO TEAMS ABOVE BOISE! Anyways, I actually think that Oregon wins this game, but 20 is a lot. Zona isn’t bad and Oregon looked a bit venerable against a brutal Cal team.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Boise State (-15.5) over Nevada<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Obviously…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Michigan (+550) over Ohio State<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Upset pick of the week. It was really tempting to take the 16.5 and pocket a W, but I’m going all in with this. Boom.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Oklahoma (+125) over Oklahoma State<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Should be a pick ‘em. Gimme odds.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Titans (+240) over Texans<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The Texans have been a train wreck for the last five weeks. Those are huge odds.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Eagles (-3) over Bears<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">No way I am betting against Vick right now.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Packers (+1.5) over Falcons<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The birds have been good, but I think that the Packers are going to pull back the love a bit this week.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Drew Magary link of the week<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m out of juice. This is way late already. Here’s Magary’s thanksgiving jamboroo. Happy holidays.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<a href="http://deadspin.com/324988/jamboroo-week-12-a-special-comprehensive-breakdown-of-thanksgiving-from-an-experienced-fat-person">http://deadspin.com/324988/jamboroo-week-12-a-special-comprehensive-breakdown-of-thanksgiving-from-an-experienced-fat-person</a><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-68529984162065868032010-11-18T15:23:00.000-08:002010-11-18T22:50:17.643-08:00Nit Picks: Catharsis Edition<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">1. BCS defenders need to shut up. The system is flat out fucked up. The most compelling reason that I have heard in its defense is that in college football, the regular season is relevant. This is a good thing. I want my team’s games to mean something, and in the BCS system they certainly do. There is a problem, though. The BCS makes the college football regular season <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">too </i>relevant. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://brahsome.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/cowher.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://brahsome.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/cowher.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Like Bill Cowher, this weeks NitPicks <br />
isn't short on anger</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Allow me to explain. I am a Boise State fan (although I have tried desperately to always be objective and never allow that to show here. Mission accomplished!). That means I want to root for Boise State. That means that I want to take an interest in Boise State’s games. Again, I do. This is good. This past weekend was a microism of why it is too relevant, though. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Boise played Idaho, but the Vandals were the least of my concerns. Instead, the teams that I was worried about were TCU, Auburn and Oregon. They were the enemies of the weekend (once again). Rather than spending the week looking at Boise’s matchups against Idaho, I was left breaking down San Diego State’s chances to move the ball against TCU, Cal’s chances of stopping the Ducks and Georgia’s upset bid against the Auburn Trojans-er…I mean Tigers. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Sounds great, right? Four games, not just one, to care about. It isn’t. I am completely over this. I am a Boise State fan. I want to root for Boise State. I don’t give a shit about San Diego State. I have no affiliation with Georgia. I actually dislike Cal. Yet every week, I am shoved into a position of becoming a fan for a week, just hoping for the necessary chaos at the top of the polls. Sure, this happens in all sports with division rivals, but in college football it is freaking <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">constant.</i> I want to root for my team. That should be enough. For a mid-major, though, it never will be, and that sucks. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">2. Our. Long. National. Nightmare. Is. Over. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">He is gone. It was about four weeks too late, but Wade Phillips was finally pushed out as the ‘coach’ (term used loosely) of the Dallas Cowboys. Thank you, Jerrah, for being the sleezy oilman that you are and going back on your word. I knew you had it in yah. Please continue to be a terrible human being as long as it helps the Dallas Cowboys.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Really, though, Jones just signed the papers. I mean, what choice did he have? Phillips was done. There is just no coming back from a 1-7 start, a lethargic looking team and a punctuating 35-7 stomping on Sunday night by Green Bay. Jones wouldn’t have been doing Phillips and favors by keeping him around (it was well past inevitable that he was gone at some point), and no one would have won by letting him twist in the wind as a lame duck. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Now, the team gets to move on, Phillips gets to move on, and we get to find out that Jason Garrett is actually not the coaching prodigy that he was made out to be (what’s that? We beat the Giants? GARRETT FOR PRESIDENT! SUPER BOWL STILL IN SITES!).<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">3. By the same token, the Vikings can’t possibly think that they are dong Brad Childress a favor by keeping him around, can they? I mean, everyone with internet access or anything beyond ntwork television and a passing interest in the NFL knows that he is a terrible coach. I mean they know it. For a fact. It is one thing to be in charge of a disappointing team, to the point that everyone kind of expects you to get axed, but that isn’t even the case. It seems to be a 99% consensus that Brad Childress is terrible at his job. One more time: Not that he is not getting results, but that he sucks. There is a different story every day damming this guy. So how is he still there?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The answer, to me, is apparent. Revenge. <i>Sweet, brutal revenge. </i>Sure, the Vikings could let Childress go, but the fact is, at this point, that Brett Favre is delightfully terrible, their receivers are hurt, and it is too late to put in an offense that actually utilizes the best running back in the league (besides, that just wouldn’t make sense!). So what happens if Childress is let go? He escapes, and the Vikings still are a mess. It is pretty clear that Chilly still has his job mostly out of spite. He is begging for the sweet release of the unemployment line. But the Vikings won’t give it to him. Instead, he gets to wake up every morning, read how bad he is at his job, go to work, see how bad he is at his job, get ignored by players who hate him, go home, watch TV and see people who were recently fired, or else couldn’t get jobs coaching, point out that he should be fired, go to bed for 4 hours, then wake up and do it again. Also he has to deal with the shitstorm surrounding the world's greatest sexter. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">That is way worse than a cushy job on CBS or something. You are diabolical, Minnesota.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">4. Rant that has nothing to do with anything of the week:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Facebook is inviting me to ‘see friendship.’ I’m pretty sure that this is just the replacement for ‘wall to wall,’ maybe with comments or something, but still. It just says ‘see friendship.’ I’m intrigued. I mean, you never know. Maybe it is actually going to give me the ability to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">see </i>friendship. Like a virtual drug, which Facebook basically is anyway. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Really, this little link just begs questions. What does friendship look like (It is probably colorful. It has to be colorful, right?) Can Facebook help me see other abstract nouns? I want to see humor. And love. And anger. I bet anger would look badass. Do I just get to see it once, like a fleeting glimpse, or will Mark Zuckerberg come to my house and bestow me with a sixth sense? Probably not, that would be expensive. But maybe. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">/clicks link<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Yeah, it was just a page that they made with all the crap involving both people. Like a glorified wall-to-wall. This is guaranteed to make me feel creepy anytime I click on it, which will mostly be on accident, because this page is worthless, and does not bestow me with any extrasensory abilities. Thanks a lot facebook. You owe me a sixth sense.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">5. THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR GIVING DONOVAN MCFUCKINGNAB 78 million dollars and a contract stretching to he is 39, which is like 48 in Donovan years. I mean he has broken his leg twice, but who is to say that he won’t play well past the age where most quarterbacks (especially ones who depend on athleticism in their prime) are moving towards television (just kidding, the ones who rely on athleticism don’t get jobs in TV). The karma gods don’t always show up in sports (read: Perry, Corey, Stanley Cup champion and gold medalist), but they did this time, punishing the beltwayers for the latest Dan Snyder special (a cousin of hockey’s Glen Sather special).<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">As for the Monday night game, which made Dick LeBeau cry, I’m sure, that was just plain fun to watch. There might be better quarterbacks in the NFL than Mike Vick, but there aren’t any that are more fun to watch. Who knew that Bad Newz Kennelz to MeSean would be the most electric hook up in the league, or that defenses would be drowned out by it (puns intended…I’m going to hell). <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">6. CATHARSIS TIME:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I hate TCU. I hate everything about you. I hate that your quarterback is a ginger who looks like a royal douchebag. I hate that you wear purple. I hate that you know purple is a weak color and you try to disguise it and make it look like blue but I AM NOT FOOLED. I know you are purple, and no amount of hue adjustment can hide it. At least man up and own your super feminine color scheme. You are so soft. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Really, though, I just hate that you are clearly not as good a football team as Boise. You are clearly inferior. It isn’t even close. Is there any way that Boise struggles with San Diego State like TCU did? Of course not. Boise won in a bowl game last year, and brought back freaking everyone. TCU lost that game, then graduated their two impact players and now…what exactly? They are better? Give me a break.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">7. Music Rant of the week:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Ok, I don’t want to get to serious here (god forbid), but Tuesday was actually a fairly momentous day in the world of music. The most important band in the history of popular or rock and roll music, The Beatles (like them or not, their place as the most important is not debatable), finally joined the lexicon of what is now the most popular means of music acquisition and consumption. Forty years after the band broke up, they dominated the entire front page of the iTunes music store, but that alone, while a testament to the enduring relevance of the band, is hardly the crux of the significance. The significance is that the world has officially moved to legal, digital music. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">This movement has obviously been in the works for years, ever since iTunes made itself the most effective way of listening to music, which was when it came out. In the past month or so, though, two things happened that cemented the pay for MP3 model’s legacy. The first was <a href="http://blogs.wsj.com/law/2010/10/27/goodbye-to-all-that-limewire-ordered-to-shut-down/">this</a>, a court order that mandated Lime Wire, the most effective means of file sharing, to be no more. That won’t end the piracy era of music, but it will create precedent to shut down similar programs rather than just prosecuting the people sharing the music, which will be a major blow to free digital music. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The Beatles coming to iTunes actually represents the last step towards a process that would have logically played out before the piracy battle, that being the transition that has happened many times before, with vinyl, records, cassettes, and CDs. Music has, once more, finished changing formats. With the Beatles officially in digital (obviously, plenty of people had uploaded their CDs, but being on iTunes makes it…I don’t know…official. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The meaning is complex. The Beatles are one of the only bands that really ‘matters.’ I don’t know what that means exactly, but I know it when I see it. The Beatles matter. Nirvana, as it happens, matters. I think Eminem and Metallica might even matter. It isn’t necessarily about virtuosity, or even popularity. It comes down to the fact that you can’t tell the story of music without the Beatles. Even if we didn’t notice it (I only did from time to time, at best), iTunes, the most complete digital collection of music, was incomplete without them. It was a coming of age for the form of music that we have moved to as a society.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">(Sorry, that wasn’t very ranty, and may have even bordered on coherent at times, but I really think that it is true, and worth pointing out.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">(One more, semi-related note: Building on the theory from last week, that phenomenon of songs that don’t live up to their intro isn’t limited to super-saturated modern bands. The intro on <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I Feel Fine</i>, with the feedback into the opening riff, is awesome, but the rest of the song is run of the mill. In fact, the chorus is actually the lacking part.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/V_BjqTrGf2g?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/V_BjqTrGf2g?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">(Okay, and one more one more, a bonus music rant: I was listening to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">How to Save a Life</i> by the Fray the other day, and checking Facebook while I should have been doing the homework that was due in a half hour. Right as it came to the chorus (‘where did I go wrong, I lost a friend’), I clicked on my own profile. Glancing at it, I looked at the number of friends that I had. It had been 598, but it was down to 597. I had lost a friend. I wasn’t even mad, that was hilarious. So, to whoever dropped me as a friend, or else deleted your account, thank you. Thank you for making life mirror art so perfectly.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">8. No one cares about your fantasy football team. You can add that to your golf game, poker beats, travel hassles and NCAA brackets on the list of stuff that people love to complain about, but absolutely no one finds interesting. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">You mean you had Jeremy Maclin on the bench, he had 3 points more than Owens and you lost by 2? How can I possibly live in a world where that could happen?</i> A couple of years ago, I had DeSean Jackson when he dropped the ball crossing the goalline, and I was playing Brian Westbrook, so it was a 12 point swing. When this happened, I realized two things. One, was that it wasn’t that interesting. Two was that if this wasn’t interesting, nothing would be. Fantasy football (or hockey or baseball), is great. Stories of tough losses just aren’t interesting, though. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">9. Actual Text Message I Sent of the Week:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">“Normally, I wouldn’t give a shit about athletes getting paid, but Cam Newton should be suspended, because fuck Auburn, that’s why.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Now, there are multiple levels to this text, which I sent to my brother, former roommate and buddy from high school on Saturday afternoon, as I was frustratingly watching Georgia implode against the Tigers (see rant 1). <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The first thing is my actual opinion on the whole Cam Newton affair. As someone in college that doesn’t get a scholarship, I find it laughable that guys who get full scholarships to play ball are somehow indentured servants or whatever the alarmist morons say when they try to make the case that college athletes need to get paid. A free college degree is no laughing matter, and a lot of these kids wouldn’t have had the chance to attend school if not for these scholarships, so that argument seems dumb. On the other hand, I don’t have any glorious romantic illusions of amateurism either. Being broke in school sucks. If there are rich boosters out there offering you free shit or cash, and you come from a poor home, I have no problem with anyone taking it (even if you don’t come from a poor home, actually). <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">It isn’t even so much that these kids make all this money for the school, because let’s be honest, most of them (Newton being the rare exception) don’t add any income to the program. You think Oklahoma football would be deep in the red without the D-back who took the cushy ‘job’ where he doesn’t ever actually show up at that car dealership? Of course not. But it is a victimless crime. The rich alumni want to throw money around to feel like a part of the program, and the kid gets a car. Win win. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">(Also, I know I am stating the obvious, but $180,000 for Cam Newton is the bargain of the fucking century. Do you think anyone was prepared to give a shit about Auburn’s football team this year? Of course not. They were another 6-4 team that Alabama was going to steamroll. Then the 280 pound Mike Vick fell from the sky- or Juco, but whatever- and all of a sudden they are 11-0? What the fuck?)<br />
I will even take this a step farther: If there is a booster at any American (or Canadian, but I don’t want to go abroad) university that has any money or gifts that they want to give to a very good club, or very mediocre D3 hockey player (or very inept D1, for that matter), an aspiring sports writer, an average economics student, or a fucking fantastic frat member, I am making myself available. I have absolutely no integrity in this matter. ZERO VERACITY WHATSOEVER. The NCAA can go fuck itself. I am 100% for sale. Repeat, 100%.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">On the other hand, Auburn is in Boise State’s way, and I am more of a ‘Bama guy, so FUCK THAT! HE IS TOTALLY GUILTY! SUSPEND NEWTON’S CHEATING ASS!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">10. Hey, we made it! A full 10 rants! <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I had an awesome, angry, cathartic, scathing dismantling of the human condition that I wrote here, but for the purposes of good taste, it won’t run. See the picks for more on that. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I’ll make up for it by writing a little bit, rather than just going with a sentence for most of the picks.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Drew Magary Link of the Week<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">In case we forgot how much Brett Favre sucks, although that would be hard because last week he fucking sucked a lot.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">(<a href="http://deadspin.com/5672552/brett-favre-is-a-bitch">http://deadspin.com/5672552/brett-favre-is-a-bitch</a>)</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">“<span class="apple-style-span">Then they cut to Favre on the sidelines staring at game stills and waving off the trainer, and then Al threw it down to Andrea Fakelashes and she was like, "Brett wouldn't talk to the trainers! HE'S SUCH A FUCKING TURBOSTUD DURRRRRR CREAMED PANTIES!" Then Favre went right back out onto the field and threw a goddamn pick, one of three last night, with surely more to come on his Charity Dick Six Farewell Tour. Fucking COCK.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Angry fans are the best.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">(Bonus line of the week that I wish I thought of: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“In case you missed it, LeGarrett Blount’s 360-aerial touchdown from last week. </i>[video]…<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">That’s goodness. Makes me want to punch a mouthy white kid.”</i>)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Bill Simmons Link of the Week<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">(</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="http://cdn16.castfire.com/audio/303/2117/7141/459751/simmons_2010-11-15-160251-3953-0-3-0.32.mp3?cdn_id=33&uuid=db570fe4b61c35120048b644bc1ca82e&referer=http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/simmons/">http://cdn16.castfire.com/audio/303/2117/7141/459751/simmons_2010-11-15-160251-3953-0-3-0.32.mp3?cdn_id=33&uuid=db570fe4b61c35120048b644bc1ca82e&referer=http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/simmons/</a>)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Gus Johnson, why not.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">FUCKING GAMBLING<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Bears +1.5 over Dolphins<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I’m pissed that there is no money line on the game. Fuck, it would be nice to pound a positive return for predicting that (HOLY SHIT!) Tyler Thigpen might not be able to hold off a Bears team that is actually playing fairly well. I feel like the Dolphins have been massively overrated for about 3 years now. Also, fuck Thursday night games. I should be watching a shitty MAC game on these nights, at least until Thanksgiving, dammit.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Steelers (-7) over Raiders<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I know that they have won three in a row, and are atop their division. I know that Jason Campbell is beginning to look like a passable quarterback. I even know that they are 5-4 and that McFadden leads the second best rushing attack (yardage) in the NFL. But they are the Raiders! It is Jason Campbell. I just don’t believe it yet. Anyways, even with last week’s hiccup, Pittsburgh has looked pretty solid with Rothlesberger is back, being aggressive, and pretty much refusing to take no as an answer, although he has been careless with his balls at times (let’s hear it for poor word choice!). <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Packers (-3) over Vikings<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Nick Collins and Charles Woodson are going to absolutely <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">own </i>Brett Favre. Since I can thank ESPN for a never ending stream of Vikings talk and don’t want to perpetuate this, I will take this opportunity to mention that I am tempted by the Lions +220, you know, with John Kitna and all, but the Cowboys looked just frisky enough with Garrett that I’m staying away. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Penn St. (-10) over Indiana<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Again, I don’t have anything to say, so I’m going to take a page out of Magary’s book and talk about something that has nothing to do with football.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">As a writer, there is nothing more frustrating than making something that you know is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">fucking golden</i>, and immediately realizing that there is no way that you can post it, or even show it to someone else. I did that last night. 9 of the 10 rants for this column were in the books, I just needed to get one more. As it happens, I had been…er, uh, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">out</i>, for a while. I was also at the tail end of a night that was not going quite how I had expected/hoped/planned. And I was back at my computer, where this column was open. ‘Rants, eh?’ I thought. I had just the thing. Through a haze, I began to type. Here is the first thing that came out: ‘</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">You want a rant? Here’s a rant. Fuck that PG-13 h””””t. Here is a genuine, pissed off at the world rant. Brace your selves.’ You get the idea. What followed was insanely angry, completely distasteful, clearly intoxicated, 100% candid, extremely personal and FUCKING HILARIOUS rant to end all rants. Probably the funniest thing I have written. Naturally, there was no way I could post it, or even send it to someone else. I have absolutely no use for it. It is easy to make fun of Bill Simmons or whoever for getting pissed at editors or whatever because there shit gets cut, but it genuinely sucks when you have something good, and things like ‘taste’ or ‘journalistic standards’ or in my case ‘not wanting to look like a complete lunatic’ prevent you from being able to use it.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">So yeah. Lions over Hoosiers.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Kent (-3) over Suffield<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Obviously I made that line up, but my prep school Alma matter is playing in the New England championships tomorrow. Since a lot of the readership of this blog has Kent ties, I thought I may as well throw that in. I also tried to actually gamble on this one, but my friend from Suffield insisted that her school spirit was lacking. Fucking buzzkill. Never try to talk football with girls. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">(I was all ready to do the corny ass 'if you win, I'll take you out, if I win, you take me out,' bullshit too. Because my game is FUCKING NICE like that.)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Wisconsin (-4) over Michigan<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The Big-10 has been sneaky good this year. Sure, they would probably still get annihilated by the top end SEC teams, but the great lakes boys at least have solid depth this year. Anyways, I like Denard, but the Badgers are a tough squad. Lay the points.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Cal (+250) over Stanford<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Call it a hunch. I’ll take those odds with a couple of good teams in a rivalry game. (I guess that would make it a reasoned bet, not a hunch, but let’s not get hung up on semantics when clichés are so much easier.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Ravens versus Panthers over 37<o:p></o:p></span></i><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Ravens (-10.5) over Panthers.</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Big day for Flacco. This one really is a hunch, but it is strong enough to double up on the black birds. The Panthers are fucking horrible.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-44238230105806326192010-10-30T14:52:00.001-07:002010-10-30T15:01:18.843-07:00Nit Picks: Half Speed<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I'm busy this week and I spent a lot of time on the hockey column, so I only had a chance to get mad five times this week. Actually I got mad a lot more than that but most of the time it was at my house mates or something like that, and I didn't write it down, which is fine because it wouldn't have had the same kind of mass appeal as pointing out that Wade Phillips isn't qualified to coach my 1-4 intramural flag football team. Anyways, here are 5 rants for yah, picks at the end as always.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">1.BRETFAVREBRETFAVREBRETFAVRESTREAKBRETFAVREBRETFAVREBRETFAVREBRETFAVRESTREAKSTREAKSTREAKENDMAYBEOHMYGODWHATWILLWEDOBRETFAVREBRETFAVREBRETFAVREBRETFAVRESTREAKBRETFAVREBRETFAVREBRETFAVREBRETFAVREBRETTFUCKING FAVRE!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Just kill me now.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">2. So the Niners and the Raiders continue to tarnish and viewing pleasure that I might be able to gain from the NFL. I swear, if there is one more afternoon where 49ers-Panthers or Raiders-Broncos or some other gawd awful game involving those two teams is my only option, I would really appreciate it if the a-holes who vandalized my yard a few weeks ago would come back and rip the GD satellite dish down. Anything would be better than another masochistic afternoon of watching those teams attempt to play offense. If my TV got taken out again, I might at least try to get a bootleg broadcast of a watchable game online (Goodell and his $70 a month Sunday Ticket can suck it). <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">3. Music Rant of the Week<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I want to put a positive spin on the music rant this week, so I am going to do one thing that always pisses me off, and one thing that makes me happy when it happens. Both will be completely arbitrary. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">On the down side, you have songs that have badass intros, and maybe sick choruses, but with half assed shitty verses. That sucks. I always get pissed when I hear a song for the first time and the intro is awesome, and then the verse changes up the rhythm and kills, or at least hinders, the entire thing. A lot of Anberlin songs are like this. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">On the up, you have the phenomenon when you are listening to iTunes or an iPod, and you accidentally skip a song that you wanted to listen to while on random, but before you go back you see that the song coming up is awesome. This happens to me all the time at the gym. ‘Wait, I am going to get to listen to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Re-Education through Labor</i> now, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">then </i>I get to hear <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wherever I May Roam</i> ALSO! THIS IS LIKE FUCKING CHRISTMAS! I am going to kill these next three sets with this music.’ It is a truly great feeling. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">4. Hey, Rick Reiley, there is no room for you and your massively inflated ego on the Boise State bandwagon. Sorry. You are going to have to get off so that you can go write another unfunny story that rips off something that you wrote and wasn’t that good in 2002. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">So, uh, yeah. Fuck off.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">(Also, the show homecoming is the worst thing on television that doesnt involve the letters 'V,' 'H,' or the number 1. Watching you do the worlds worst stand up routine with that crappy Kanye song as the theme made me want to root against Josh Hamilton, the single most root forable player in baseball. It was that bad.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">5. I have two questions regarding the Cowboys, and I am new to this sort of thing so bear with me. One, is at what point do I openly start rooting against them for the high draft pick. With Romo out, and the team, you know, being shit and all, I know that I will be happier if I start now, but it is only week se'ven. That seems like it is a bit premature. Not because they still have a chance to contend, but because they aren’t really in a number one pick race or anything. Anyways, it is definitely coming, so much so that I was actually pissed that Romo might be able to come back this year. So when is the best time to start. My second question is, in the draft, can we take a coach? We are pretty solid at the skill positions, so can we just take Nick Saban or something with the number 5 pick in June?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">GAMBLING<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">(just 10 picks, again…time)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Cowboys (-6) over Jagaurs<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Titans (+4) over Chargers<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Jets (+4) over Packers<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Panthers vs. Rams over 37<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">USC (+210) over Oregon<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">UNLV (+35) over TCU<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Ohio State vs. Minnesota over 55<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Utah (-6.5) over Air Force<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Michigan (3.5) over Penn St.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Patriots (-5.5) over Vikings<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Drew Magary Link of the Week<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://deadspin.com/5675651/the-killer-squirrel-epidemic-could-spell-americas-doom">http://deadspin.com/5675651/the-killer-squirrel-epidemic-could-spell-americas-doom</a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“I was watching DeMarcus Ware play on Monday and I was thinking that black people have added a lot of prefixes to the name Marcus: DeMarcus, LaMarcus, JaMarcus. I feel like there's a new Marcus prefix they're waiting to roll out, and I'm hoping I can predict it correctly. I went through the whole alphabet trying to figure out which ones would sound best, and which ones would sound uncommonly silly: BaMarcus, MaMarcus, NeMarcus (short for NeimanMarcus), RaMarcusable, etc. I think it'll be Q'Marcus. It has to be. I can't imagine HaMarcus beating it out.</span>”</i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-60487351046186870932010-10-29T00:25:00.000-07:002010-10-29T13:53:11.480-07:00All Thing Hockey 2010-2011; Edition 1<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">(Wait, is that…)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">(Oh damn, I think it might be)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">(Yeah it definitely is)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">(That must be…)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">THAT’S THE SOUND OF ALL THINGS HOCKEY, BABY! Damn, it feels good to be back.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I have to be honest, this offseason didn’t seem to drag on quite like some have in the past, in fact it felt like it went by fairly quickly, but that is for the best. Hockey is in full swing, and, luckily, it is still freaking awesome (good news!). There is a lot to get to, and my dad thinks that these were always too long last year anyways, so let’s get right into it. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">BACK IN THE USSR (and Germany, Sweden, the UK, and the Czech Republic)<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">(First things first: No I will not stop using the same Beatles reference every time that Russia is involved. Glad we cleared that up.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Hockey is truly a global game. With increasing numbers of players and fans coming from overseas, the season openers in Europe are an ample opportunity for the NHL to reach out to this fan base. It is great to see the league tapping this resource in the age of globalization and ensuing a worldwide fan base going forward, because after all, the days as America as the end all be all of major sports will not go on forever. Look at the premier league or the champions league in soccer. They are based out of…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Yeah. I can’t do this. Sorry.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I hate the NHL opening on the old continent. There are so many things I hate about it. I hate that it means that the teams traveling have 40 home games rather than 41. I hate that the Sharks opener started at like 12:30 PM on a weekday. I really hate that it means that the Sharks home opener is 13 days, an entire Cuban missile crisis, after the opening day of the season. I hate that it is impossible to tell if the games overseas are exhibitions or regular season games. I hate that it means that I only get to see the Blue Jackets come to San Jose one time (just seeing if you are still paying attention). I hate that the teams have to ‘defend the honor of the NHL’ or whatever, against DEL and KHL teams, just days before they start an 82 game schedule. I just hate the whole thing. Did I mention that I hate it? Because I hate it. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The whole thing is pointless, too. Are we really going to hook a generation of Swedes or Czechs because there was a single regular season game in Stockholm or Prague? Of course not. And the stadiums (at least in Sweden) were half full <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">at best.</i> (THIS IS WHY OBAMA MUST BE STOPPED! SOCIALISM CANNOT SUPPORT PROFESSIONAL HOCKEY! ) God, it just makes no sense to go this far out of our way to play games in front of foreign ECHL crowds. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Really, the only games that were somewhat interesting were the SKA-Carolina game, and the San Jose-Manheim game. Even though it wasn’t quite full speed, it was interesting to see the NHL teams go up against the Euros. Fine. Keep them, and if you want, send multiple teams, and you can even have games over there between NHL teams. But do it in September, and make them exhibitions. This is dumb.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Jersey Short, A Situation<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Best. Title. Ever.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Anyways, the Devils went into a couple of games already this year with just 15 players dressed. The most important thing to take away from this is that it is freaking hilarious. The Devils messed up their cap so badly (while losing their best defenseman), that they couldn’t afford to call someone up for league minimum for a couple of games. Ha and ha. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The part where people lose me, though, is when they suggest that somehow New Jersey has broken the rules, or that they should be punished. This is ridiculous, first and foremost because it is not a rule. 18 skaters is a limit, not a quota, so there is no way the league could actually take action. As for if they should, playing with 15 players is a penalty in itself. Is it cap circumvention? Sort of, but it punishes itself, so there is no need to take action. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Worst (or best, depending on your perspective) of all, is that the cap and roster issues may not even be the biggest problem in New Jersey. The team is a mess. After watching them in San Jose on Tuesday night, I remarked that I had never seen a team that looked better when you saw the names in warmups, and worse when you watched them on the ice. They really are as bad as their record right now. They have no chemistry, questionable team defense, and absolutely zero idea how they should use Kovalchuk. My reaction was naturally that their new coach, John McLean is in over his head, and is lost with this team. When I told this to people who might know about the situation, I was told that McLean isn't the problem. Jersey has a weak blueline, an aging goaltender and forwards who can't get along (all things I should have seen). That might be worse. It is way easier to fix a coaching problem than a disfunctional roster. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Before the season, I loved this Devils team, since they seemed to be extremely entertaining with a lot of skill, but without the backend to be a serious threat to win it all. It turns out that they might not even be that. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Solicitation<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Obviously, if you ever have a hockey question or topic that you want me to address, you should email the blog at <a href="mailto:ovsports@gmail.com">ovsports@gmail.com</a>. I’m not sure why exactly you would direct a question at me, but nonetheless, I like responding to people, so please feel free. More to the point, though, I am changing the way that I am doing Sharks games this year. The last two seasons, I had 10 game ‘Shark Packs.’ This year, I’m going on a game by game basis. My buddy picked up tickets to the second home game of the year, because when the Carolina Hurricanes come to town, you drop what you’re doing. Then, we went to see the Kovalch- er, Devils last night. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Anyways, moving forward, I am trying to figure out which games are worth throwing down for. The Oilers and their awesome CHL team are a must. The Penguins with Crosby and Malkin are an obvious one, and the Caps are another no brainer. Beyond that, who else should I be looking for. Send me teams that are worth seeing, and why. Let’s get our democracy on.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Homer Note of the Weeks<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">What 4 Random People Would Say If They Cared About the Sharks (and agreed with me)<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Drew Magary<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Scott Nichol is terrible. He is less equipped to play on an NHL team than I am to be a parent, which is not at all. Seriously. He is FUCKING TERRIBLE. Watching him play makes me want to burn down planet fucking earth. Goals? No. Assists? No. Dumb penalties? Fuck and yes. He is the Sharks version of superaids.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Upcoming Games<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Sharks vs. Devils<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Is there anything better than a shitty Devils team? I say no. Can you imagine if the Devils missed the playoffs in Marty McCheatonwifewithwifessister's last season and he had to retire in April? That would be awesome and my HEAD WOULD FUCKING EXPLODE.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Sharks vs. Ducks<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I went to the cafe where I buy coffee while I’m at work today and I saw that they had a basket of cliff bars at the counter. I’m in a big cliff bar guy, so without looking at what kinds they were I ordered one in addition to my coffee. Imagine my dismay when I looked down and saw that my options were black cherry almond, raisin walnut and pecan pie. PECAN FUCKING PIE! What the fuck? WHAT EXACTLY WOULD HAVE BEEN WRONG WITH CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER? I have no use for your shitty nut/fruit combinations.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Sharks vs. Oilers <o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Reader Hambone:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 26pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 26pt;">“</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 8pt;">Was Eve good looking?</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 26pt;">”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">That’s a solid fucking question. Was Eve hot? I bet Eve was hot. And Adam totally hit that. Nice. Solid work by him. That’s great hustle.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Bill Simmons<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I was talking to my dad the other night about the Sharks playoff demons and he said that he had fallen asleep during all of the west coast games, which makes it absolutely obvious and self evident that the games need to be shorter. Anyways, my buddy J-Bug and I agreed, that as Red Sox fans, we know everything that there is to know about losing and tortured franchises. Usually, according to the VP of common sense, it takes a cosmic shift in the luck of a city for things to turn around. Maybe the Giants and their awesome fan base, which keeps me interested in the baseball games even though they are too long becuase I’m 42 which is totally old and I fall asleep watching them at the same time as classic Larry 'basketball jesus' Bird games on NBA TV and St. Elmo’s fire after TMZ wraps up on VH1, can bring the Sharks some momentum in the playoffs this year. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Peter King<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Sitting on the set of Football Night in America on Sunday, I put down my venti Half-caf mochachino turned to my friend Tony Dungy, and asked him what he thought about Joe Thornton’s captaincy so far. Dungy thought (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">something self-righteous and blowhardy that no one really cares about, edited for space). </i>Once I was done being in awe of the fact that I know the great Tony Dungy, I thought about it myself while I was texting Keith Brooking, perhaps the best inside linebacker in the league, although he is old and slow and probably not as good as Brian Urlacher, Ray Lewis, Demeco Ryans and John Beasons, all of whom I am also friends with. Here’s what I think that I might think that I may have thought about possibly considering thinking about Joe Thornton.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The captain has<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">1. The letter on the sweater which is <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">2. At this point mostly a token responsibility<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">a. because it is assigned by the coaches and <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">- not given from a vote by players, but <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">b. leadership is a more organic process<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">i. stemming from the room itself<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">ii. regardless of has the C.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">3. And Joe has been a leader in the room for a while so I don’t think that a. it is going to be a problem, or b. it is that much of a change.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Don Cherry<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Look at this good ol’ boy, Logan Couture. That’s a Canadian for ya. None of that dipsy doodle crap you see from a lot of the younger players in the game these days. It isn't becuase he doesn't have the skill. This is a blue collar guy. And I tell ya what, HIS FATHER CHET IS A FIREFIGHTER BACK IN GUELF. Boy, I tell yah, Ron, he must be a proud guy right about now. (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">McLean opens his mouth and tries to say something, but is immediately cut off) </i>Look at Logan go to the net here. Watch this here. Where is the video? I thought we had the video. Oh, there it is. Bam! You think he plays like that because he doesn’t have the skill to dangle around the edges? Of course not. That’s how they taught em back in the London Knights. Junior in the Ottawa 67s. He knows that you have to go to the nitty-gritty to be a REAL hockey player. If you want to score, you go to the net. ATTA BOY LOGAN!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">/(<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that was ridiculously fun and needs to become a running feature…</i>)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Goal of the Week<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Did I mention it is good to be back? Because goal of the week reminds me that it is good to be back. Ladies and gentlemen Jordan Eberle.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">'The guy scores a couple of lucky goals in world juniors a couple of years ago, and first game he is looking off our captain on a 2-1. It's pretty disappointing actually.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">What else could it have been?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Pass of the Week<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I thought that this was Zach Parise the first five times I saw it. It is actually Danis Zubrus. I blame the Devils jerseys for having 8 and 9 look the same with tucks.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">New Feature; Quintessential Goal<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I’m going to do something different this year, where I count down some of the best scorers in the league, and demonstrate how sick they are (scientific term used), by showing what I would consider their most typical awesome goal. Is it because I feel like we need a definitive list of the best scorers? No. Because you need to know which of Ilya Kovalchuk’s 341 goals best exemplify him? No. It’s because when I put more videos of sick goals on here, nobody loses. Except for goalies. Goalies lose. But that’s how we like it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Top Tier<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Stamkos</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4zSyzeYqsCU?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4zSyzeYqsCU?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object></span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">This exemplifies the Lightning star's rocket shot, and ability to make plays in traffic, serving as a good representation of his skill set. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Kovalchuk <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Ilya brings great speed, can make a move or two with his hands, but his shot is what makes him special. While a quintessential goal would have been from the top of the circle, top glove with a wrister, this one is more fun. It also is appropriate that rather than deak the goaltender or go low like 90% of the league would have, Ilya acts like a badass, which he is, and snipes to glove. Sick. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" height="383" id="embed" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/embed.swf" /><param name="quality" value="high" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="flashVars" value="hlp=8469454&event=CAR26&server=http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/&pageurl=http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/&nlwa=http://app2.neulion.com/videocenter/nhl/" /><embed name="embed" pluginspage="http://www.adobe.com/go/getflashplayer" src="http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/embed.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="640" height="383" quality="high" allowFullScreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" flashVars="hlp=8469454&event=CAR26&server=http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/&pageurl=http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/&nlwa=http://app2.neulion.com/videocenter/nhl/"></embed></object></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Ovechkin<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Ovechkin is about a combination of finishing creativity, and speed, all of which were on display here. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><object height="340" width="560"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3xT2fnoUJs8?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3xT2fnoUJs8?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object></span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Crosby<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Dude has the skill. He has the hands. He has the speed. He knows when to go. And he will never freaking quit. You can't sum all of that up better than this play does. It's why he is the best in the game. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/yHpzz5tx8bY?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/yHpzz5tx8bY?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">New Feature: Player Montage <o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Self explainitory…same logic as above.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Goals, hits, hardcore/punk music? Yes please.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">We'll start with the Cros.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Top 8 / Bottom Eight<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">This is a balancing act at the moment. It is hard to determine to what extent results, and to what extent potential should be weighed. Ultimately, this is leaning towards prediction, but certainly is influenced by what has happened so far.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">1. Pittsburgh Penguins- They have the scariest roster, and 12 points through Wednesday morning, tied for second in the league. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">2. Vancouver Canucks- The results don’t quite bear this out with their 4-3-2 record, but Vancouver looks like a team that could put it together.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">3. Detroit Red Wings- God, I thought this might be the year that they were going to just go away. I guess not.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">4. Nashville Predators- Still unbeaten in regulation.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">5. Washington Capitals- They’ll figure it out…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">6. San Jose Sharks- I defy anyone to claim that they aren’t a top 6 NHL team.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">7. Montreal Canadians- Cary Price? Really? Ok. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">8. Calgary Flames- 12 points, without an OT decision<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">23. Anaheim Ducks- 9 points, sure, but they have played a league high 10 games.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">24. Buffalo Sabers- Just 7 points, also in 10 games.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">25. New Jersey Devils- -18 goal differential can’t be ignored.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">26. Phoenix Coyotes- If for no other reason than because I still don’t approve of Arizona.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">27. Carolina Hurricanes- What do you mean they handled the #6 team at home? They still totally suck.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">28. Edmonton Oilers- Making me look bad, thus far.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">29. Florida Panthers- Just…brutal.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">30. Minnesota Wild- Woke up after a bag skate, but they don’t have the talent to hang.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Award Watch<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">This entire column is an exercise in futility, but even I won’t go as far as to pick the awards after about 9 games per team.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Shorter Hockey Thoughts<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="http://espn.go.com/nhl/powerrankings?week=1">This has to be one of the dumbest things I have ever seen</a>. Either there is no point doing power rankings after 2 games, or they should be influenced fairly strongly by how you think teams are going to finish. The Leafs at 4? Really? The Stars jumped 17 spots based on 2 games? The Penguins down 20? This is the very definition of pointless.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Who among us has not wanted to tell Sean Avery exactly what James Wizniewski did? Ironically, I think that Colin Campbell has probably wanted to do that more than anyone. (Wait, why am I defending Wizniewski? God, why couldn’t they have just fought to the death or something?)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">‘The Key to controlling the puck is to posses the puck.’ Kevin Weeks said that. He actually had that thought, then decided that it would be a good idea, and a worthwhile practice, to look into a camera, and say that to America. God, I’m glad he is here.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">HE JUST DESCRIBED THE ANDY SUTTON INJURY AS ‘A HUGE HOLE IN THEIR BACK END!’ HE REALLY SAID THAT! Was it intentional? It had to have been intentional. God, I hope he has no idea how funny that is, though. That would make it ever better, if he had no idea. I really am glad he is here now.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Me: (sees kid wearing a HILL shirt) did you go to Hill School in PA?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Him: Yeah<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Me: (excited) Patty Riss!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Him: What?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Me: (walks away, pissed that he doesn’t know who Patrick Rissmiller is)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Tyler Myers doesn’t look the same has he did last year. Watching the Sabers, this is somewhat apparent. He is getting beat more. He is out of position more. He is relying on his size and reach, not playing like a smaller player which is what made him so effective last year. I wondered aloud about this to my buddy Austin, and wanting to see if I was imagining things, I looked his numbers up. Don’t let the 3 point blasts fool you, Myers is a -9 on the season, just a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">brutal</i> number. Size is such a huge advantage on the point, and Myers has the skill set of a puck moving defenseman, something that you almost never see in a guy who is 6 foot 8. For that reason, I thought he could control the Norris for the next few years. Something hasn’t clicked yet this season, though, and the Sabers need him to figure it out. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">While I’m not sure how they settled on lavender for breast cancer awareness (shouldn’t it have been pink, or are we just arbitrarily throwing out feminine colors now), but I liked what the Blue Jackets did by wearing them in warm-ups rather than just practices, as the Sharks have done (and other teams I’m sure, although those are the ones that I have seen). Wouldn't the whole point of wearing the special practice jerseys be to get them seen? Wearing them on gameday is way more effective to that end.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Looking Forward<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I’m more intrigued by the teams at the bottom of the league right now than I am by the top. I know that Toronto and Nashville aren’t two of the premier units. But is New Jersey the worst? Will Edmonton STOP MAKING ME LOOK BAD DAMMIT! So, yeah, those are the two teams I’m going to keep an eye on. And the Sharks, obviously.<o:p></o:p></span></div>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-1410180818253822202010-10-22T13:33:00.000-07:002010-10-22T13:33:25.888-07:00Nit Picks: On time for Once<div class="MsoNormal">I’m actually going to get this up on Friday for once! And at all! Hooray me. God, I’m mediocre.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">1. I’m officially over the whole concussion thing. Congratulations, ESPN, the NFL, and the NFLPA. You have managed to make it so I could completely care less about the fact that these guys’ brains are being turned to ground beef on a weekly basis. And I am an empathetic person. It isn’t like this is the sort of thing I would usually just want to look the other way on. The fact is, though, that I have had enough of hearing about it, and would like to announce that I officially can’t care anymore. The worst part about the whole thing is that the solution has to be simple. Violent, aggressive, possibly roided up 6-4 260 pound dudes are going to be, well, violent and super aggressive. And if they weren’t I wouldn’t watch. There is only one way to fix this. Change the helmets. Make them bigger. Pad the outside (how has this not gained steam yet?). It won’t eliminate concussions, but it is the only way to cut down on them. So do it. Until then, I don’t want to hear about it.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">2.<br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">Let’s break this down, point-counter point style. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Point:</div><div class="MsoNormal">AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. BAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Counter Point: </div><div class="MsoNormal">(searching)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Point:</div><div class="MsoNormal">(out of breath) AHAHAHAHHAH (gasping) hahahah…AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Counter point: </div><div class="MsoNormal">Well, he, um..they could have…uh…</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Point: </div><div class="MsoNormal">Jesus t*********g Christ! What could they possibly have been expecting? Was a giant gust of wind going to blow the ball three yards so that they could recover it? Would the ref decide to waive the rule where the ball had to travel 10 yards if they waited long enough? Dear god. Get Mike Leach back here to lock those kids in a closet. That is why you didn’t get in to UT. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Also, </div><div class="MsoNormal">AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA,BAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Counter Point:</div><div class="MsoNormal">It was a pretty heads up and ballsy play by the dude who ran it back. I mean they probably didn’t expect that.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Point:</div><div class="MsoNormal">Except for the little detail that IT WAS A LIVE BALL! THE PLAY COULD NOT POSSIBLY END UNTIL HE PICKED IT UP! IT WAS STOPPED AND GOING BACKWARDS!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Counter-Point:</div><div class="MsoNormal">Could you please stop yelling?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Point:</div><div class="MsoNormal">I mean he is just a college kid, and we shouldn’t even really point out his name, because it wouldn’t be fair to humiliate him, but CORNELIUS DOUGLAS. #2, the MORON in that video is named Cornelius Douglas. He is a wide receiver from Oklahoma. He is also the dumbest football player in division one. He started to pick it up, then STOPPED! HE FREAKING STOPPED! WHY THE HELL WOULD HE DO THAT? And he looked foolish getting stiff armed as the dude scored. Wow. Just wow.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Counter Point: </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: right 6.5in;">Yeah, you’re probably right. He sucks. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">3. Great Moments in American Badassary (also known as ‘Reason America Kicks Ass of the Week)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I’m in a Political Science class (for reasons that I myself don’t fully understand), where we are reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Utopia</i>, by Thomas Moore. For those of you that don’t know, Thomas Moore is a giant pansy (note- not the word that I used when thinking about this). He thought that we could all just live in a world free from excess and frivolity. But that makes him an idiot. And that is why America is badass. Excess and frivolity. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Here in America, we don’t need most of the stuff that we have. But we <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">want </i>it. And we like it. We create incentives to create stuff that we don’t need, and then let people cash in those incentives for more stuff that they don’t need. That’s why we’re badass, and for wanting to get rid of that, you, Thomas Moore, suck.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">4. My Top-25</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We are now about 7 weeks into the college football season. That means that it is no longer ridiculous to rank the top 25 division one college football teams. Any time earlier than now, it is ridiculous to put out rankings. Don’t tell the AP, USA Today, Coaches, Harris or whatever else, because then we couldn’t get rankings that are based upon changes in initial rankings that are semi-arbitrary and based off of stuff that happened in different seasons, with teams that had approximately 25% turnover in their rosters. That would suck.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">1. Boise State Broncos</div><div class="MsoNormal">2. Oregon Ducks</div><div class="MsoNormal">3. Oklahoma Sooners</div><div class="MsoNormal">4. Texas Christian University Horned Frogs</div><div class="MsoNormal">5. Auburn Tigers</div><div class="MsoNormal">6. Missouri Tigers</div><div class="MsoNormal">7. Oklahoma State Cowboys</div><div class="MsoNormal">8. Alabama Crimson Tide</div><div class="MsoNormal">9. Michigan State Spartans</div><div class="MsoNormal">10. Louisiana State Tigers</div><div class="MsoNormal">11. Utah Utes</div><div class="MsoNormal">12. Florida State Seminoles</div><div class="MsoNormal">13. Wisconsin Badgers</div><div class="MsoNormal">14. Stanford Cardinal</div><div class="MsoNormal">15. West Virginia Mountaineers</div><div class="MsoNormal">16. Ohio State Buckeyes</div><div class="MsoNormal">17. Iowa Hawkeyes</div><div class="MsoNormal">18. Arizona Wildcats</div><div class="MsoNormal">19. Nebraska Cornhuskers</div><div class="MsoNormal">20. Nevada Wolf Pack</div><div class="MsoNormal">21. Arkansas Razorbacks</div><div class="MsoNormal">22. Northwestern Wildcats</div><div class="MsoNormal">23. Miami (FL) Hurricanes</div><div class="MsoNormal">24. Baylor Bears</div><div class="MsoNormal">25. Virginia Tech Hokies</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">5. A few words in defense of the above 25:</div><div class="MsoNormal">Virginia Tech looks high (no, not like Tim Lincecum looks high), but there is almost no way, as far as I can see, that they don’t run the tables and win the ACC. They are the best team in that conference. That conference sucks, but that still has to be worth something. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Boise State is the best team in the nation without a loss. That isn’t a homer pick. It is a fact.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Ohio State and Nebraska dropped a lot based on one loss, but I just don’t think that they are two of the best 3 or 4 one loss teams in the nation. They don’t need to be around the top 10 just because they were before they went down. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I use the standings more than the AP, BCS, or any of the other polls. Why? Because that is literally the only accurate rating of how good teams are. Sure, you can look at quality wins, who they lost to etcetera, and that is all well and good. As I said above, though, the point where the other polls get arbitrary is when they base themselves off of the polls from the weeks before. These rankings were based upon, essentially, guesswork, and should be ignored as much as possible now that we are actually learning about these teams. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">6. Can we just make a nationwide announcement that Brett Favre sent pictures of his uh…genitals, let’s say, to that chick that used to wear the cowboy hat at Florida State games? I know this, and most of my friends know this, but it seems like there is still a significant portion of society that doesn’t realize this, and it is making my life awkward. You see, I, like anyone who knows the story, thinks that it a, makes Favre a douche, and b, is freaking high-larious. Unfortunately, there are some people who still seem to be unaware that Favre is a giant prick, which is annoying. More importantly, I need people to understand the references I make to the story. Firstly, because they are hilarious, like I said, and the story is hilarious, but there are plenty of references that I make that people don’t get, but that aren’t nearly as large as a problem. The problem here is the nature of the jokes. If I make a Slapshot reference in front of a bunch of sorority girls (note- this happens a lot, actually), they have no idea what the hell I am talking about and get a little bit confused, I briefly hate the female gender for not appreciating hockey related humor, and it might even be awkward for a second, but the whole thing is forgotten within a couple of minutes. It is more of a problem for me, though, when a reference is missed, if my buddy says that we should talk trash to our mutual friend who is a Vikings fan before the Cowboys-Vikings game, and I respond by yelling across our house that we should just text him pictures of our dicks. Out of proper context, that one needs some explaining. So please, let’s all just get on board with this situation.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">7. God the SEC is effing sweet. I mean they BRING IT. Constantly. Every single week, it seems like there are at least one, usually 2 or 3 games that should only be missed if you actually have something to take care of, and something that can’t wait. Two weeks ago, it was LSU-Florida and South Carolina-Alabama. Last week they threw down with Auburn and Arkansas. Next week? LSU-Auburn. Two undefeateds. God, we should all just pack up and move to the deep south. Except that it is like 94 with 96% humidity every day, and it rains all winter. And there is little to no hockey. But the SEC is awesome.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">8. (Wrote this last week, didn’t post in time):</div><div class="MsoNormal">It is hardly a rare occurrence for columns that I promise not to appear, and usually this isn’t cause for concern, since when it comes to putting aside hours to write stuff that I get zero money and very little recognition for, I am extraordinarily flakey and inconsistent. This week, though, if you don’t see anything here, call 9-1-1. Immediately. That is because I am going to the Boise State-San Jose State game at Spartan Stadium on Saturday evening. I will be wearing my Jared Zabransky (actually, now my Jason Robinson) jersey, and I will be acting as if I am in Bronco Stadium in Boise, which is to say cheering for Boise State. This would be all well and good, except that San Jose State may well be the worst accredited four year university in the United States (or anywhere else, for that matter). This creates two problems. First of all, this is a school that will let more or less anyone in, something that makes itself abundantly clear at Santa Clara University on a week to week basis, when police are looking for ‘San Jose State kids’ that may be causing trouble, or when they are responsible for break ins, fights and thefts. This actually happens, and I am going to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">them</i>. The second problem is that at some point, I will almost inevitably feel compelled to point this out. The combination of this revelation and the fact that I will be celebrating their team getting their ass kicked is sure to incite the rage of these thugs. So please, do me a favor, and be very concerned if the activity on this blog ceases in the coming days. (Note- I would be concerned that someone at San Jose State would read this and be offended, but most San Jose State kids can’t read. /Crap, it’s already starting..I’m screwed.)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Update:</div><div class="MsoNormal">That was last week. The good news? I’m still here. Other good news? Boise took care of their business. And by took care of their business, I mean that they scored touchdowns on 6 of their 7 first half possessions (that is including a pick 6 as a possession, but whatever). </div><div class="MsoNormal">Unfortunately, it turns out that San Jose State really doesn’t give a crap about football, and the stadium was at least 60% orange and blue. It was general admission and we sat near a bunch of the players families, and with other Boise State fans, which was easy, since the entire stadium was Boise State fans save the season tickets (not general admission) and the student section. Anyways, so much for my dreams of getting in a fight and getting shanked by a dude who had taken his 1.9 high school GPA to San Jose State because I got a little too excited about a Doug Martin run or something. Oh well. Anyways, I have two quick thoughts/comments about the game on Saturday.</div><div class="MsoNormal">1- San Jose State was..surprise…completely incompetent when It comes to everything, although in this case it was basic foodservice. My brother, who bought the tickets, paid $5 extra to have a hot dog, popcorn and a drink included in the ticket. Great, Good deal. The problem, though was that when we went to the one place where this could be redeemed, which was the one place in the stadium that was selling food at halftime, there was a huge line. Fine. That’s to be expected. What wasn’t to be expected, though, was that when half time was over, we were in pretty much the same place. We ended up missing pretty much the entire third quarter, waiting in line for crappy stadium popcorn and a crappy hot dog. It wasn’t even like there were thousands of people waiting, either. There might have been 30 people, at the most, that were in front of us in line. Big surprise, that SJ State managed to screw something up, but I’m still bitter I missed almost a quarter of the game.</div><div class="MsoNormal">2- The best part of the game, and probably the most telling moment, actually happened before the opening kickoff. At Spartan Stadium, both teams come out of a ramp at the northeast corner of the field. As most teams do, San Jose State had lined up their band and cheerleaders for the team to take the field through, in a line across the field from the tunnel, to their sideline, which was on the west side. They had left an opening for Boise, coming down the same ramp first, to go to their sideline on the east side, and so when the Broncos came down to the end of the ramp, they were walking as if they were going to head to their own sideline. All of a sudden, though, as they were about to go through the opening, the player leading them onto the field (unfortunately, I didn’t catch the number), veered to the right, raised the hammer that leads the Broncos out every week, and led the blue (well, the white, I guess) sprinting through the surprised looking San Jose State pep squad (I’m told they also took out a cheerleader, although I missed it if that is true). </div><div class="MsoNormal">The message was clear: we are here right now, therefore this is our field. Unfortunately, this inspired San Jose State, and made them pissed off, having been disrespected on their own field. They came out with a fire after that, although it turned out that Boise State was much better at football, rendering that fire useless, and the Broncos were up 7 just two and a half minutes in, despite having kicked off to start the game. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">9. <a href="http://the506.com/sports/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/06-FOX-L.jpg">This is the map for the broadcast of the Cowboys and Vikings game</a>, and it makes me want to commit a homicide. As it pertains to football, I hate the bay area. ALEX SMITH! BRUCE GRADKOWSKI! KILL ME NOW!</div><div class="MsoNormal">That game was absolutely unwatchable. Granted, it may not have been all that much more enjoyable to watch the Cowboys piss away their season to Cocky McPicturepants, but at least that would have had the basic qualities that you have come to expect from a football game. I’m pretty sure that there was a 10 year old calling plays for the 49ers on an Xbox. And the 10 year old was a soccer player. If I wasn’t so busy throwing up at the fact that I see as many Giants hats every day this month as I did in the first two plus years that I lived in California (from the d-bags who called me a bandwagon jumper, along with every other Red Sox fan, when I went to a game-NOT SOLD OUT AND HALF SOX FANS BY THE WAY, in June...<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyVdbfyvwso">while we're here, this makes me hates humanity</a>), I would feel sorry for the people who have to watch this every weekend. I think if I were a 49er fan, I would have to watch a movie or a hockey game or something every weekend and check the games on Yahoo or ESPN.com or NFL.com or something. That shit was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">putrid</i>. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">10. I would like the following people to do me a favor, and die slow painful deaths, please: Brad Edwards, the Oregon State football team, the entirety of the Harris poll voting demographic, Brad Edwards, James Madison University, the people at Intel, Apple, or whatever company built the BCS computers, Brad Edwards, the editor and chief of USA Today (even though he has little to nothing to do with their rankings…his name is on them), the ESPN news wire, Brad Edwards and Brad Edwards. </div><div class="MsoNormal">The reason, in case you haven’t figured it out, is that the BCS rankings came out this week, and a promise that was made to me personally (<a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=5673225">that’s how I took this anyways</a>), was broken. Obviously, the worst think that happened was that Boise fell behind Oklahoma and Oregon in the BCS rankings so why, you may ask yourself, does Brad Edwards take most of the hate in the above paragraph. The fact is, I have no problem with Brad Edwards. I like his work. I appreciate what he does. But last week, he told me Boise was going to be number 1 when the BCS came out. I, in turn, told anyone that would listen that Boise was going to be number 1 when the rankings came out. Then Oregon State lost. And Texas beat Nebraska. And the Harris poll continued to suck. And Boise was number three. You made a liar out of me, Edwards. Damn you. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">GAMBLING!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It is getting a bit harder by this point in the season. It is easier to be ahead of the game earlier in the year, when Vegas and alike are still trying to figure out the league, but these guys are professionals, and by this point in the season, they have started to figure their stuff out, and lines are starting to get tougher. Still, here are 10 which I think the better of which can be had. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">1. Steelers (-3) over Dolphins</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Assuming James Harrison doesn’t quit because he can’t hurt people anymore. (Actually, even if he does. Are the Dolphins even good? Aren’t the Steelers pretty much looking like a juggernaut?)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">2. Baltimore + Buffalo Under 40</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I wanted to make this pick Eagles over Titans, on basic ‘holy crap, I get +140 against Kerry Collins’ instinct, but that was overridden on, ‘wait, I’m picking Kevin Kolb to win strait up on the road’ instinct. Instead, I will take the Ravens not to put up more than 30 against Buffalo, because there is no way that Ryan Fitzpatrick is throwing up more than 10 in Maryland.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">3. New England (+125) over San Diego</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Here is the Chargers dirty little secret: They just aren’t that good. That, a positive money line, and the fact that Norv Turner appears to be actively trying to lose his job, make me want to absolutely <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">crush</i> the Pats on the money line. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">4. Packers (-2.5) over Vikings</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The Packers desperately need a bounce back after a couple of flat showings lately. 2.5 is essentially a pick em, and I think that Green Bay comes out strong. If I were betting this game (you know, theoretically), I would even try to get that spread up to 5 or 6 and try to get a +125/+130 out of it. I that the Packers roll here.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">5. Panthers (+125) over 49ers</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Dear lord I’m picking the Panthers to win…oh well. The niners are a mess.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">6. Penn St. (-9.5) over Minn.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Bad team + new coach = blowout</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">7. Wisconsin (+190) over Iowa</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Almost 2/1 for Wisconsin? Is this a joke? Yes and please. Am I supposed to be impressed by the win over Penn State (now unranked), or the one over Michigan without Denard Robinson.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">8. Air Force (+18) over TCU</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Air Force is the best rushing team in the nation, statistically. TCU has put up some numbers a couple of times (although against Baylor was the only really impressive one), but their strength is still their defense. It is a little bit scary, since the Horned Frogs are 5-2 minus 18 points, but the ground game for Air Force should be good enough to control the clock enough to keep this one close and to slow the game down, making 18 feel like 35.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">9. LSU (+5.5) over Auburn</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Time to pick the big boy games. Auburn is undefeated, but they have had their hands full with the likes of unranked Clemson, Mississippi State and Kentucky. All of those games were decided by a field goal. This seems like a 3-4 point game, and I think LSU pulls out the cover and the game, before getting wiped out by Alabama in their next game.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">10. Missouri (+125) over Oklahoma</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">You want a stat of the week? Here is your stat of the week. 207-65. That is the points for to points against for the Missouri Tigers, who might just be the most dominant team in football so far this year, something that is obscured by the fact that you can’t name one player on their team. The one smudge on that is a 3 point win, squeaked out against San Diego State, which pales in comparison to Oklahoma’s handling of Florida State, and Texas, both solid teams. Still, I’m not overly impressed with the Horns, so in what is essentially a tossup, I’ll take the odds, and go out on a limb with the Tigers.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">Class/work isn’t over yet, so screw it, let’s keep going.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Drew Magary Link of The Week<o:p></o:p></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2006/11/f-k-it-im-throwing-it-downfield.html">The original. Sexy Rexy.</a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p> </div><div class="MsoNormal">I read this junior year of high school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It changed my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Four years later, I realized that the man who had written it, Mr. Magary, was now my favorite writer, who I had only began to read religiously this summer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life is funny sometimes (I will now kill myself for saying that, but I cant think of a better way…).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, an excerpt:</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">(please skip if you have..uh, delicate sensibilities)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">“(as Rex Grossman) <span class="apple-style-span">What’s that? I should throw a quick slant? Fuck that. That’s gay. Button hook? Gay. Flare out? Gay. Screen pass? Kevin Spacey gay. This is fucking football. You can’t just expect wins to come to you. You can’t massage that shit. You gotta grab that game by the throat and rape the </span></span><span class="apple-style-span">ever-loving shit out of it. You think a 5-yard out is gonna win you a game? You’re a pussy. This ain’t John Shoop running this offense. Sexy Rexy’s got the arm. The dragon. You gotta unleash the dragon.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span">Nice.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><i><a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmonsnfl2010/101022_part">Bill Simmons Link/Tweet/Podcast of the Week</a></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It’s today’s mailbag!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Creative!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s give the man credit for not writing a freaking NBA column to go along with his NFL picks, though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What the hell was that? </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Half Assed Professor Quote of the Week<o:p></o:p></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I go to a college that is, frankly, seems at times to be more concerned with its gardening than its professors (disclaimer- our gardening if unfreakingmatched).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a good school, because it is able to attract smart people, and I have had some professors that are as good as I can imagine that I would find at any school on the east coast, but I have also had some that are…less than impressive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t complain, since it is like 83 degrees every day and the average girl is like an 8, but it gets annoying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The best way to deal with it: make fun of it.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“The great depression was tough, and it took its toll on all aspects of society, but especially the musicians.”<o:p></o:p></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">That’s right, professor who shall remain nameless because I actually think you are generally pretty good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Especially</i> the musicians.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure, people lost millions of dollars.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their homes were taken away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The banking system was blown up overnight and public finance was forever changed, but GOD DAMMIT RAGTIME WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Forget the bankers who are ruined, or the portfolios that were blown up, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">think of the string bass players!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Homeless failed musicians are going to be even more homelessier!</div><br />
</div>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-72622555931157593552010-10-05T00:52:00.000-07:002010-10-05T00:52:30.635-07:00The NHL's Most Intriguing Teams- Part 2 of 10; The Tampa Bay Lightning<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Hey remember that NHL preview I was going to do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yeah, about that…the season starts in 4 days and I have done one of the promised 10 teams.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s just copy and paste an intro in here and get right to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Time is short.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 12.75pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">September is barely upon us, but it is never too early to start looking towards the NHL season. For the preview this year, a single column would feel incomplete, and to go through all 30 teams could get a bit tedious (Today, the New York Islanders. They sucked last year. They are going to suck again. Tomorrow the Carolina Hurricanes). Instead, let’s narrow it down. For the 2010 NHL preview, we will take a look at 10 teams that could be interesting in the coming season, working in reverse order of how they did last year. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 12.75pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 12.75pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">That should do.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 12.75pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Intriguing Teams of 2010<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><i>9. The Tampa Bay Lightning</i><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.tampabay.com/multimedia/archive/00089/c4s_lite101509_89508c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="398" src="http://www.tampabay.com/multimedia/archive/00089/c4s_lite101509_89508c.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">With Steven Stamkos haven taken the forefront from fellow top overall selection Vinnie Lecavalier in Tampa, can the Lightning compete in 2010-2011?</td></tr>
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The hater in me wants to tear this team apart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They don’t have much in the way of a D core.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mats Ohlund is like 35 years old and wasn’t exactly a superstar in his prime. Viktor Hedman looks more like the Niklas Lidstrom of getting his freaking head taken off than the actual next Nick Lidstrom that he was billed as coming into their league.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can’t even tell me who their third most notable defenseman is (it is Pavel Kubina, but that is boring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean really boring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kubina isn’t a bad player, shit…I would take him in San Jose in a second, but I defy you to say one interesting thing about him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also they have no one else).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">At forward, they are top heavy, and that is probably putting it lightly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have about two, maybe two and a half lines that could play on more than 15 teams in the NHL.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The problem is, that as many problems as there are with actually thinking that this team could contend, and there are a ton, you can’t help but look at them and think…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I mean that top six…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It is good… <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Really good.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Here it is, in case you don’t know:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Stamkos<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">St. Louis<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Lecavalier<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Downie<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Gagne<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Malone<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There are not 5 teams in the league that wouldn’t trade their top six forwards for that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not a chance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So can they carry the Bolts to the playoffs?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The simple answer is actually, very, disappointingly simple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Probably not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They just don’t have the depth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But they will still be an interesting team to watch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Lecavalier and Stankos are the two guys that I will be looking out for this season. The reasons on Stamkos are simple and predictable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is clearly a budding superstar, who could go either way .<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Last year, he stepped up big time in his sophomore year, and going into year three of his NHL career, the question becomes whether 2009-2010 was Stamkos’s ceiling, or if he will be the elite scorer in the league in the coming years.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Lecavalier is at a different crossroads.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just a few years removed from being one of the top players in the game, and still within his prime window at 30, Lecavalier will have to show that he is still an elite player.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The skill set is still there, but the production has slipped the past couple of years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I, for one, see Lecavalier bouncing back to elite status, and he will need to for this Lightning team to contend in 2010-2011.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Even with huge years from their three franchise players (the two above and St. Louis), even the playoffs seem like a stretch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There just isn’t that much there beyond the marquee names, and eventually that will show.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You never know, though, if a super talented top end can be enough for the Lightning to surprise people this year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-7715119702897268772010-10-02T18:32:00.001-07:002010-10-02T18:32:22.327-07:00Nit Picks II<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Everyone seems to have their little football preview pointless pot-pouris that runs before each week, and since I have a blogger account and a job where I have to sit at a desk and do next to nothing, I figured I would get in on the action. For no reason whatsoever, here are 10 mini-rants about football, followed by 10 bets for the upcoming weekend. I will offer little or no evidence, do my best not to look anything up, and definitely won’t respond if you attempt to refute anything I say. Because my word is gospel. And I’m a busy guy. Wait, no, I work less than 20 hours a week, and don’t even have class 4 days a week. I’m not busy. What is that other thing…the one that I am…lazy. That’s it. I’m lazy. Deal with it. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">(As for the bets, if you haven’t heard, and don’t like it, gambling is legal now. It can be done, in a way that isn’t punishable, criminally or otherwise, through sites that are registered with the national government. Sure, it is the national government of Costa Rica, but let’s not get hung up on semantics. Because gambling is awesome. I’m watching a football game. I shouldn’t care. But I have money on it. Now I care. Gambling is like a ‘make-me-give-a-s*** pill. Which is awesome. Unless I lose, then gambling sucks.)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">1. Wade Phillips and crew came up with the big win that they needed against Houston.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank god.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wasn’t ready to quit on the Cowboys season yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to quit on the Red Sox in mid July (even with the late season run, it was apparent that they didn’t have it a while ago).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t be an agnostic for most of the MLB <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and</i> NFL season.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having said that, I still want his ass canned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seriously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When Lance Armstrong is advocating that someone give Jerry Jones another coach’s number (Bill Cowher, he really did this…gotta love twitter), you know you suck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you need more evidence for this (or anything else related to the Jets, Bengals, Cowboys or Cheifs, really), go back and watch Hard Knocks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Phillips seems like a good guy, and one who knows about football, but the dude couldn’t inspire Lawrence Taylor to do a line off of an underaged girl (what, that isn’t the first thing that comes to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">your </i>mind when you need an uninspiring football analogy?).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It shows on the field too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even against the Texans, the Cowboys have looked flat for most of the year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The season lives on, but I’m still mad.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">2. Would anyone in their right mind say that if you took the best teams in the Big East and the ACC, put them into one conference, then put that conference next to the best teams from the WAC, MWC, and C-USA, the big conferences would be better?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some people would.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But they would be big conference fanboys like Mark May and Lee Corso. Just for fun, let’s do it with 10 team conferences<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">BigCC<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Virginia Tech – Lost to a WAC team and a 1-AA<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">NC State – The only remaining undefeated, but no one is sure that hey are any good<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Syracuse- Don’t have a quarterback that was better than a dude who played 4 years of D-1 basketball last year<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">West Virginia- One trick pony (Noel Devine)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">South Florida- Somehow a major conference school<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Rutgers- I literally cannot think of one thing to say, positive or negative, about this team<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Florida State- Their coach’s name is Jimbo.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Miami- Miami Northwestern three years later, unfortunately they are now playing much more selective teams<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Maryland- They must protect this house<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Boston College- (I guess…)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">C-WMC<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Houston- One loss to UCLA, who destroyed Texas<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Southern Miss- Only loss was to the SEC, quality V over Kansas<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Boise State- Self Explanatory<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Nevada- Took it to Cal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hard. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Fresno State- Actually, kind of uninspiring, but no worse than Maryland or BC or USF<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">San Diego State- Ditto<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Utah – A quiet 4-0.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">TCU- Also self explanatory<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">ECU- Had the most dramatic win of the year, but not necessarily that inspiring<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Air Force- One loss, and it was by 3 to Oklahoma, in a game they should have won.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Third in the nation on the ground.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An underrated team.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Two disclaimers:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>1. I’m not saying that the C-WMC conference is so spectacular, and 2. I’m not saying that they are clearly head and shoulders better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it is close.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The point is simple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>North of Georgia, eastern college football is BRUTAL this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Already, only NC State is undefeated in the ACC, and they are going to be a dog this weekend to a team that lost to a 1-AA and a WAC team (Boise State, but still).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one is saying that the WAC can be considered to be even close to the same playing field as the Big-12 or the SEC, but the mid-majors, for this year, anyways, may well be just as good as the weaker big ones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And this is in a year when a perennial mid major contender, BYU, is brutal.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">(Also, count undefeated on the last 2 lists- it is 4-0, for what it’s worth)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Ten football rants every week is, frankly, too many, and frankly, a pain in the ass to come up with, so I am going to start mixing in some other stuff here that isn’t football related in order to get to that magical ten spot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you are wondering why, read the intro again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">3. Reason America Kicks Ass of the Week<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The Blue Effing Angels.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">When you sign up to be a fighter pilot, there is obviously a minimum level of aptitude that you need to engage in combat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Air Force trains a bunch of people to become really good at kicking ass with million dollar jets, then sends them to places like Iraq and Libya and Finland (the less publicized operation night moose) to take out high security fortresses filled with bond-villain like bad guys planning nuclear strikes, and then to have 4 on 4 dogfights (insert Vick joke here) over the Indian ocean on the way home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is warfare as I understand it anyways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Obviously, it takes a high level of skill and training to get to the point where you can take place in such a mission, and not just anyone can get behind the wings of an F-15 fighter jet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have to be really effin’ good at blowing stuff up and then flying away in order to fight in combat, and America has a lot of guys like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that kicks ass, but that isn’t the reason that America kicks ass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">If you are a standard, run of the mill country (let’s say Argentina), and you had someone who was super good at flying combat planes, and they wanted to serve their country, you would be like ‘sick, sign em up’ (if you were kind of a bro, but also in charge of the Argentinean military…just go with it).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not America.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We put our good and very good pilots in positions to take out bad guys, preserve freedom, make the world a better place and just generally eradicate people we don’t like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our great fighters, though?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do we put them into battle?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Make their planes super stealth and use them for our missions?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Of course not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We paint their planes bright freaking blue and have them fly over places like Wichita, Kansas and Twin Falls, Idaho doing tricks and not really fighting anyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s right, al Qaeda.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those dudes taking you out and generally running your show?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s our B team.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are the Miami Heat,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>except that we are scheduled for a road game against the Hornets, and we kept LeBron, D-Wade and Bosh in Miami to put on an And-1 mixtape.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And we sent Mario Chalmers, Udonis Haslem and Eddie House to New Orleans And we won by 20. (Ironically, we also sent America’s version of Mario Chalmers, Udonis Haslem and Eddie House to New Orleans after Katrina, but that is neither here nor there).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">You want to know how freaking badass America is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That badass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are exactly that badass.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">4. Music Rant of the Week<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I need to bring something to the attention of as many people as possible, and a column full of rants is, frankly, the perfect place to do so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The song <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dynamite</i> by Taio Cruz SUCKS.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not saying that it is played out, that I don’t care for it, that it is a little bit annoying or that it is overproduced or any of the other things that you typically mean when you say a song sucks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean it is freaking horrible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is completely devoid of any merit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If a three year old could operate a synthesizer and had developed language skills, they could have made that song.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But only if the three year old had no musical talent whatsoever. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Every time that god-awful song comes on, I feel compelled to point out that it sucks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean every time, and usually to people who have heard me point out that it sucks multiple times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That doesn’t sound that bad, except that I hang out mostly with drunken college kids, and drunken college kids are basically functioning retards, which means that they have terrible taste in music, and as a result, I hear that song a lot, like 9 or 10 times a week, because like I said, college kids (at least ones at Santa Clara) have putrid taste in music, and that song is on twice at every single GD party.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a result, I point out that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dynamite</i> sucks a lot, but that’s ok.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has become something of a mission to let as many people as possible know how bad it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">While we’re here, pop in general has been terrible for the past year or so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There have been a few songs that have been legitimately good (like <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Slave</i> by Silver Medallion or <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Got Your Back </i>by T.I.), a few more that have been okay (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Club Can’t Handle Me</i> by FloRida or <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Airplanes </i>by B.o.B), but they were buried by an avalanche of vapid bullcrap, and as a result, of the songs above, only <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Airplanes</i> got significant time towards the top of the charts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead, we had <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">savants </i>like Katy Perry, Taio Cruz, Will.I.Am (YOU DON’T HAVE ONE REDEEMABLE SONG, LET ALONE A GOOD ONE, AND YOU HAVE BEEN AROUND FOR LIKE 5 YEARS!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>GO AWAY.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>SERIOUSLY.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>NOW!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>GO!), or Far East Experiment (the musical terrorists responsible for the song <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">G6, </i>which like <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dynamite</i>, manages not to be about anything, not to have a melody, or even a catchy beat, and to be sung by someone with little or no talent, all at the same time).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Maybe you think these songs are catchy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are forfeiting your right to ever say that you have discerning taste ever again, but personal preference is personal preference.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whatever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lyrically, though, these songs are indefensible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll prove it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Show love</span></i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">even though them chicks be hating on us</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">still I’m gonna keep her by my side</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">In whatever situation we gon ride</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">make all my fantasies come alive</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">that’s no lie now</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">I’ll be alright as long as your gon be beside me</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">10 million dollar mansions won’t suffice</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">if you aint gon be in there with me at night</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">the pieces to my puzzle’s in my life</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">with all of my good days and all of my bad</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">you stood by your man and you know you got my back</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">worth every car every bag with me they wanna be that</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">I know what I got at home</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">I aint never gon leave that</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">them b-tches best believe that</span> <o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">That is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Got Your Back</i> by T.I.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not saying that we should make him the national poet or anything, but it isn’t bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is intelligible, it has an actual cadence, a narrative of sorts, and even if the song is materialistic, it is sweet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you were to recite it to someone, it would probably come off as sweet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It holds up as a verse, in the traditional sense, not just as a mindless track over a beat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now consider the following:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard</span></i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Like a G6, Like a G6</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">That means…nothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is gibberish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you said that to someone, well, actually, chances are they would recognize the song, because it is so damn overplayed, but if they didn’t, they would look at you like you had three heads.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And they would be right to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are worthless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s try that one more time.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Can we pretend that airplanes</span></i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">In the night sky</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Are like shooting stars</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Can we pretend that airplanes</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">In the night sky</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Are like shooting stars</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">I could use a dream or a genie or a wish</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">To go back to a place much simpler than this</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Cause after all the partyin' and smashin' and crashin'</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">And all the pandemonium and all the madness</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">There comes a time where you fade to the blackness</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">And when you're staring at that phone in your lap</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">And you hoping but them people never call you back</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">But that's just how the story unfolds</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">You get another hand soon after you fold</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">And when your plans unravel</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">And they sayin' what would you wish for</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">If you had one chance<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">That one is pretty recognizable, as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Airplanes </i>by B.o.B.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once again, I’m not trying to crown him, because Dylan it isn’t, but it is a comparable, contemporary song to the crap that I wish to destroy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, it means something, has a narrative that you can follow, and is even a little bit interesting/inspiring (admittedly a stretch, but not absurd).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can you say that for this?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I throw my hands up in the air sometimes</span></i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Saying ay-oh, gotta let go.</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">I wanna celebrate and live my life</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Saying ay-oh, baby let's go.</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Cause we gon rock this club</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">We gon' go all night</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">We gon' light it up</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Like it's dynamite.</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Cause I told you once</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Now I told you twice</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">We gon light it up</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Like it's dynamite<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">That is a juvenile rhyme scheme, with a hook that literally doesn’t make any sense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am getting angry just reading them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It isn’t even the worst offender.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is this:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Baby let me love you downnn</span></i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">There’s so many ways to love ya</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Baby I can break you downnn</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">There’s so many ways to love ya</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Got me like, ooh myy gosh I’m soo in love</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">I found you finallyy, you make me want to say</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,</span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span">Ohh myy gosh<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">THAT IS 45 SECONDS OF “MUSIC.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>MY HEAD IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Anyways, I really hope that Taio Cruz, Usher, Will.I.Am, and all the other people responsible for these monstrosities are riding in a G6 with Dynamite strapped to the wings, and if that happens, I will write a simple, unintelligible song that will go to the top of the charts called ‘Die a Slow Painful Death After Crashing into a Mountain and No One Will be Sad Because You Were Making the World Dumber,’ just so that I can make this whole sentence with song titles. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">5. Last week, I successfully called Garrett Gilbert (who I keep referring to as mellow alt-country singer Brantley Gilbert in my head) not being as good as Colt McCoy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m awesome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This week, I’m looking at you, John Brantley (who I keep referring to in my head as….oh, this all makes sense now).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tebow, you are not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not that anyone thought you were.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t bother picking up a bible and getting a military haircut, either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It won’t help you avoid getting your s*** absolutely ROCKED against Bama this week.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">6. The Oregon-Stanford game is going to be an absolute beauty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really don’t know what to make of either team right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stanford has proven that it would have been stupid to give Toby Gerhardt the Heisman, but that is about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oregon, on the other hand, is doing this with a quarterback whose name I would have to look up, and a year after they were supposed to have been a national contender.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">7. Would someone please, for the love of God, beat USC?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Look, I’m a little bitter, I admit that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But this has nothing to do with my bitterness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has nothing to do even with the fact that I have rooted against USC for most of the night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The fact is, that I just can’t take the story line that you can see coming from a mile away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>USC is undefeated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The title race is bungled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>IS IT RIGHT TO KEEP THEM OUT?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>DISCUSS!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God kill me now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really just want that program to go away for a few years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pete Carroll seemed a little too happy with himself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lane Kiffin is clearly a huge douche.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was the great thing about the sanctions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They could just leave us alone for a bit, and then by the time they were back in the picture, we would have forgotten how insufferable they were.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here they are at 4-0, and (somehow) a number 18 ranking,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure the Pac-10 is as strong as it has been in years, and they haven’t really proved much with the teams they have beaten, but this needs to end now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not doing it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m just not.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">8.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Overall, I have a pretty good relationship with food.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know a fair amount about it, and its nutritional value, and what that means.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not making any appearances on Top Chef, but I’m a decent cook, certainly better than your typical frat guy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My real strong suit though is eating it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God, I crush eating it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am sick at eating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like the Alex Ovechkin of eating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll throw down 4000 calories a day and not think twice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After I finish a meal, my number one feeling is usually describable as ‘still hungry.’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I gain weight every time I go shopping, because there is food around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I ever quit working out, I’ll hit 300 pounds in like 3 months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is one area that food and I don’t get along, though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I am the world’s worst grocery shopper.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean I am freaking terrible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I take forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will check every aisle, pass all the stuff I need so that I end up finishing and then just having to go back through the same aisles to get all the stuff I missed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I go to the same Safeway every time, and yet I can never remember where anything is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stare at a shelf for 5 minutes before deciding that it is too expensive and not getting anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s because everything seems too expensive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will have spent $8 on a couple of powerbars and a drink that I crushed before I got home from 7 Eleven the same day, BUT I WILL BE GODDAMNED IF I AM PAYING $3.50 FOR A LOAF OF BREAD that would have lasted me the better part of a week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then when I check out, I am always completely off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will think I stocked up, and it will be under $60, forcing me to come back less than a week later.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will try to keep it light and drop $100.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am an economics major.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The whole thing is a debacle, embarrassing even.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By the time I get back to my car, I feel like I should just take up the Jared diet and eat at Subway every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Watching the 49ers offense is like watching me go grocery shopping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This team looks freaking lost out there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know if it we need to blame Alex Smith, Mike Singletary, the recently departed “coordinator” (that title is generous), if they have line problems, or if it is a combination of all of the above.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Either way, the result is a bumbling mess that seems to have no idea how they want to move the ball.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The stats don’t completely bear this out, with 10 teams having less total yardage, but when they do get yards, it is more of a result of some of their athletes making a play than any sort of scheming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A 3 against Seattle and a 10 against KC are way more telling than any yardage stats.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Normally, that would be well and good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The 49ers are well within their right to have an utter gongshow of an offense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not even a 49ers fan, so I shouldn’t even care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The problem is, I live in the bay area, so I have to watch this garbage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sunday Ticket is out of the question ($70 a month…are you kidding me?), so local coverage it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With due respect to the university of Toledo, the Raiders are led by a guy who couldn’t distinguish himself against JaMarcus Russell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That means that 2 of the 6 teams playing on Sunday afternoon are nearly impossible to watch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please, for me, Niners, figure this out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">9. Obviously, this is coming in late, but that is going to allow me to make a comment about something that is currently happening with college football.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My DirecTV is currently being fixed, so I’m watching on my laptop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This sounds bad, except that thanks to the magic that is ESPN3, I am watching 4 games at once.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Words cannot describe the majesty that is my screen right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are 6 ranked teams playing on my 16 inch monitor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unbelievable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What an age in which we live.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Now it is hooked up to our retardedly large, 72 inch television.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am watching four games next to each other, each of which aree on completely reasonably sized screens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My head is spinning.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">10. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here are my thoughts on the week three NFL games:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have none.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, you are probably wondering why I don’t have a single thing to say about the third weekend of the season.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have already made it perfectly clear that my life is not exactly a flurry of activity that would preclude me from having watched the games, and yet I didn’t see a single game this past Sunday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is because on Saturday night, someone broke into my yard, busted up a couple of tables and a few fence posts, and tore the cable out of our DirecTV dish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mere hours before the Cowboys and Texans kicked off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I don’t really know what to say about the past week of football.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead, I am going to use my constitutionally guaranteed first amendment rights to berate the living s*** out of the people who did this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Brace yourself, this is about to make the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dynamite </i>rant look like reasoned analysis)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">You are the most worthless people in the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You suck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seriously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish that you had climbed up there and fallen and broken your damn necks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You messed up my day of football (and the rest of the week for tv) for…what..exactly?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You didn’t even take anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least if you had stolen something, it would have been a justification.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You would have had something for your trouble.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You would still be a scumbag who deserves to burn in hell, but there would be a point to what you did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You heard me right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would respect you more if you had robbed me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would hate you just as much, and I would probably be even more pissed, but I would respect you more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You went to someone’s house and destroyed something for no reason whatsoever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>DIE.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Picks<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Patriots (-1) over Dolphins<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Chad Henne and Tom Brady are getting together, and we are essentially given a pick ‘em?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes please.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Virginia Tech (-3.5) over NC State<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Tech seems like they are at least starting to get it back after their disastrous start, and they have to be the favorite in the ACC if they do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This will lead to the world exploding, when a BCS bowl team will have had a loss to a 1-AA school, but it is what it is.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Jets/Bills Under 37<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">WHERE?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>WHERE I ASK YOU?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>37 POINTS?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>WHERE ARE 37 POINTS COMING FROM?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is INSANE.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is there any way that this game isn’t like 17-10?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>21-14 would be an offensive explosion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would still be the under.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please bet this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While we’re here…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Jets (-6.5) over Bills<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Now, I am fully aware that in a game with offenses like this one, six points is huge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still, the Jets are surging, with no reason (other than possibly Mark Sanchez) to think that they aren’t for real.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Buffalo, on the other hand, might be the worst team in the league.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seriously, name seven Bills.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ready, set, go (Lee Evans, Trent Edwards, Marshawn Lynch, Fred Jackson…and you’re done). <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Stanford (+230) over Oregon<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">This is a pick ‘em.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Better than 2/1 odds is a steal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Alabama (-8.5) over Florida<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Florida seems depleted to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is their first real test, and Bama looks to be rolling, having pulled it out against Arkansas (a better team than the Gators).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lay the points.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Houston Texans (-3) over Oakland Raiders<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">This Raiders team has a decent running game and defense, but if the Texans have any legitimacy, they will take care of business after they dropped one to Dallas.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-56709448155842428032010-10-01T21:06:00.000-07:002010-10-01T22:57:20.092-07:00Hitting the Links; 10/1/10<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><div class="MsoNormal">I haven’t done links in three weeks, having been hit pretty hard by something that I believe the scientific term for is clusterfuckshitstorm (previous word NSFW if you happen to be reading this aloud in the workplace, which you should be, although this little digression is more to call attention to the fact that I am once again swearing in my posts after almost three years of trying to keep it clean, because if you are reading out loud, which, once again, you should be, you already said clusterfuckshitstorm. And now you said it again) of stuff that I actually get paid for. Or graded on. Or gives me a place to live. Or else that I just care about more than this. Sorry. Anyways, since it turns out that doing homework is really, really boring, here are 10 that I enjoyed over the past (three) week(s).</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">1.<o:p> </o:p><a href="http://www.scuhockey.com/2010/09/behind-the-scenes-with-jackson-morgus/">Santa Clara Hockey Blog</a></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Recently I was told that I was going to have the opportunity to become the next Mark Titus. I was ecstatic, and immediately started watching extensive game tape on Mark Madson, Brian Scalabrine and Titus himself. I practices the enthusiastic towel wave, the awkward white guy half hug, even the classic intense stare at the court with the towel around the shoulders. Truth be told, I have warn nothing but jogging pants and a windbreaker for the past week, because I took that comment to mean that I was being transferred from the Santa Clara Hockey team to the Santa Clara basketball team to be the token overenthusiastic white guy who never plays. Turns out they actually meant that they wanted me to do a player blog on the Santa Clara hockey website, so now I have a bunch of useless knowledge about 5 step handshakes and standing behind the starters during timeouts, and another writing obligation that I don’t get paid for. Oh well.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Even though none of that actually happened, I am doing the blog for <a href="http://www.scuhockey.com/">www.SCUhockey.com</a>, and while the subject matter will be different, I assure you it will be just as juvenile, irrelevant and hacky as this website, so please, check it out.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div>2. <a href="http://deadspin.com/tag/fjm/">Fire Joe Morgan Reunion</a><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">If you know me, and are my friend (the real kind, on facebook), then you probably saw this posted with the label ‘Read Deadspin today. Do it. Thank me later.’ Anyways, if you aren’t, or if you ignored me last week, read this now and, again, thank me later. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">3. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWmkuH1k7uA">All Apologies unplugged</a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">This is pertinent to almost nothing, except that I just finished reading Chuck Klosterman’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Eating the Dinosaur</i>, in which he refers to this song (or at least mentions that it has been referred to) as ‘(Cobain’s) real suicide note). True or not, it certainly makes the song, which is good, but fairly boring, a little bit more interesting, and gives it another level.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">4.<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPTowp3e77k"> Greg Giraldo</a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Funny dude, died yesterday…damn.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">5. This Week in the Youthsoccerization of America (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtV4y_i5Hyg&feature=player_embedded">Part 1</a>, <a href="http://deadspin.com/5649172/watch-this-high-school-quarterback-hurdle-a-standing-defender-update">Part 2</a>)</div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Here are quite possibly the two best High School football touchdowns that you will see all year. Neither of them counted, because the people running every level of amateur sports with the exception of junior hockey and maybe summer league baseball are idiots. And pansies. As is clear from the title above, I blame soccer. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">6. <a href="http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/">Kissing Suzy Kolber</a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The next best thing, now that FJM is gone. It is probably the easiest place to go for good, humorous sports writing that focuses mainly on making fun of stuff. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">7. <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/Official-betting-odds-for-2010-11-NHL-season-fr?urn=nhl-273907">Puck Daddy- 2010 Betting Odds</a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">As I made clear last week, betting is awesome. Naturally, I don’t need anything to make me interested in the NHL season, but this doesn’t hurt, either. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">8. <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/Puck-Daddy-chats-with-Sharks-Joe-Thornton-about?urn=nhl-272861">Joe Thornton Puck Daddy Interview</a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">For Sharks fans, mostly, Big Joe sat down with Greg Wyshynski this past week. He was pretty interesting, although much of that credit goes to Wyshynski for leading him on. Either way, a good read for Sharks fans.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">9.<a href="http://thrashers.nhl.com/club/gallerylanding.htm?id=16905"> Real live proof that Thrashers fans exist</a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I have nothing to add. Just look at the pictures.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Unfortunately, because the aforementioned storm of non-BS related activities, I am going to have to cut it short this week. I’m already a day late. Column coming tomorrow morning afternoon. </div></span></span>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-68849698575430735422010-09-25T15:20:00.000-07:002010-09-25T15:20:46.601-07:00Nit Picks<div class="MsoNormal">Everyone seems to have their little football preview pointless pot-pouris that runs before each week, and since I have a blogger account and a job where I have to sit at a desk and do next to nothing, I figured I would get in on the action.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For no reason whatsoever, here are 10 mini-rants about football, followed by 10 bets for the upcoming weekend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will offer little or no evidence, do my best not to look anything up, and definitely won’t respond if you attempt to refute anything I say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because my word is gospel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I’m a busy guy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wait, no, I work less than 20 hours a week, and don’t even have class 4 days a week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not busy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What is that other thing…the one that I am…lazy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m lazy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Deal with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal">(As for the bets, if you haven’t heard, and don’t like it, gambling is legal now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It can be done, in a way that isn’t punishable, criminally or otherwise, through sites that are registered with the national govenrmnent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure, it is the national government of Costa Rica, but let’s not get hung up on semantics.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because gambling is awesome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m watching a football game.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I shouldn’t care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I have money on it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now I care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gambling is like a ‘make-me-give-a-s*** pill.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which is awesome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unless I lose, then gambling sucks.)</div><div class="MsoNormal">1. Mike Singletary sucks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has a losing record.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every damn year all we here about is how the Niners are the breakout team in the NFL, and usually, it seems to make sense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to live out here with all these 49er fans (technically, I’m split between 49er and Raider territory, but I’m at a private school, and every rich kid from the East Bay likes to think that they are from San Francisco, so as a result I know like 2 Raiders fans), and as much as I like some of them, I have this message:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>you people are morons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>OOOOHHH he won’t accept excuses!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a revolutionary!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He dropped his pants in the locker room!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He cares so much!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know who else cares, and won’t accept excuses?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bill Belicheck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or Sean Payton.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or every other coach in the league.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Except they don’t have 13-14 career records with talented rosters, so we have other stuff to talk about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why does everyone make excuses for this guy?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it because he was in the Super Bowl Shuffle?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It must be because he was in the Super Bowl Shuffle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is what happens when you never have to deal with snow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You make excuses for bad football coaches (that’s just good science).</div><div class="MsoNormal">2. So Mike Vick has won the quarterback struggle in Philly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a tough one though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A real scrappy battle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If only there was a term to describe something that was drawn out, scrappy, and a tough, even battle where it just came down to who kept fighting harder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe something that made it seem like a battle between a bunch of fighter jets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If only such a term existed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would use that one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And by the way, shouldn’t Andy Reid just have been fired for the way he handled this whole thing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that he is like the third longest tenured coach in the league, that he ultimately got the decision right, and that this sounds like ‘The 10 Coaches I want Fired’ so far (and it is going to continue to sound that way, for the record, because most football coaches suck), but would anyone have not understood if they had fired him and put out a statement saying ‘the wives of every member of the front office knew that Vick should be starting immediately after the Detroit game, if not before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It took Andy Reid like 4 days to figure it out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Clearly, he has lost it.’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All I really know is that there was no way I was watching the Eagles this weekend with Kevin Kolb, but I will be watching them with Mike Vick.</div><div class="MsoNormal">3. Continuing wit the theme of ‘Jackson rails against people keeping harder jobs than he will likely ever have,’ Wade Phillips has to go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All I can think about when I watch the Cowboys is how poorly run their offense is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The play calling is uncreative, they never adjust to what the defense is doing, and thy thoroughly waste the most offensive talent in football.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This team looks like it is coaching itself, and with a three page playbook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>AND DON’T YOU TRY TO WALK AWAY JASON GARRETT.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>COME BACK HERE.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is your fault too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I blame Wade for the team looking like they had been listening to Ryan Adams CDs and lighting scented candles for three hours leading up to game time, but the play calling is on you, ‘wunderkind.’ </div><div class="MsoNormal">4. You should only be allowed to have dreads like that if you are a defensive back, Denard Robinson.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sorry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It looks badass if you are lighting up receivers or returning punts, but I can’t take a quarterback seriously if he looks like Lil’ Wayne.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel the same way about long hair on white dudes, too, although Tom Brady sort of gets a pass because of, you know, the rings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, uh, get a haircut, I guess.</div><div class="MsoNormal">5. Yeah, right, Oregon State.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Signed, the state of Idaho.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal">(in reference to this story: <a href="http://espn.go.com/blog/pac10/post/_/id/13450/oregon-state-ready-for-blue-turf-but-what-about-boise">http://espn.go.com/blog/pac10/post/_/id/13450/oregon-state-ready-for-blue-turf-but-what-about-boise</a>)</div><div class="MsoNormal">You look foolish.</div><div class="MsoNormal">6. Why can’t Hard Knocks just be extended through the entire season?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who wouldn’t enjoy this (other than maybe the subject of the show)?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am having Rex Ryan<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>withdrawals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need to see someone running up and down a sideline screaming ‘what a f***ing hit’ while technically at work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need to know how they are reacting to Revis being hurt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the Braylon Edwards DUI.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For those six weeks, the Jets were family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And now they are just gone?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t take the loss.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal">7. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dear ESPN,</div><div class="MsoNormal">Regarding your halftime montage of Oregon State upsets throughout the years, used to promote the game that they are sending Corso and Co to on Saturday:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Go Eff Yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really don’t have much to add here, but seriously, I really don’t want to even start thinking about that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyways, those were all in Corvalis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We don’t lose on THE BLUE, expensive, attention grabbing practice gimmicks aside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal">Signed,</div><div class="MsoNormal">Jack</div><div class="MsoNormal">8. Bama should be the clear cut favorite in college football this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their team returns most of the core of a National Champion, and ohbytheway there quarterback has never lost a start (literally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is ridiculous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Look it up, I’ll wait….it’s spelled M-C-E-L-R-O-Y…(checking watch)…back?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How is that even possible).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the other hand, their D looks a little bit shaky.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have watched more or less every game that they have played the past couple of years, and this unit doesn’t look like the one that shut down Tebow in the SEC championship game.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ryan Mallet, on the other hand, hahs both lost a start in his career, and looks better than last year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t think that Alabama is going down to Arkansas, but it is going to be a hell of a game. </div><div class="MsoNormal">9.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m over the Wildcat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I said, I don’t have any stats to back this up, but it seems to me that the upside to this situation, now that teams have started game planning for it, is a 5-6 yard run off tackle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>More often than not, it seems like it doesn’t go anywhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The advantage is that you have one more blocker (you aren’t wasting the QB position, like on traditional runs), but a dual threat QB is much more effective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>More importantly, though (actually less importantly but bear with me), if I hear wild- put in front of a team’s nickname one more time, I will projectile vomit all over the television I am watching.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not even kidding (well I mean I am, but again, bear with me).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I heard the words ‘Wild-Bronco’ last weekend, I actually felt sick to my stomach. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Talk about sounding foolish.</div><div class="MsoNormal">10. So let me get this straight, Chik-Fil-a.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am supposed to believe that Cows have mastered the ability to communicate, create signs that are intelligible to English speakers, and understand the concept that eating more chicken will lead to less cows being slaughtered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fine, it is a stretch, but no more so than plenty of other commercials.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the same time, though, I am supposed to believe that they stopped short of learning to spell words like ‘is’ (‘iz’), ‘more’ (‘mor’) and most importantly, ‘chicken’ which is the focul point of their assult like campaign on the eating habits of America.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Screw you, Chik-Fil-A, for trying to make me dumber.</div><div class="MsoNormal">(And if you’re wondering what this has to do with football, they run those asinine adds 529 times durnign the typical SEC game)</div><div class="MsoNormal">PICKS</div><div class="MsoNormal">Boise State -18.5 over Oregon State</div><div class="MsoNormal">18.5 is a lot of points, especially against a Pac-10 team, but I have faith in the Broncos to blow this out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Bronco defense has been strong, and there is no way that Kellen Moore and company put up less than 5 touchdowns.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Broncos have shut down Evans already this year, in DC, and should be able to keep Jaquizz and the Beavers under the 20 or so that would be necessary for a cover.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take the Broncos on the Blue, give the points. </div><div class="MsoNormal">(That is a homer pick, for sure, I should admit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Honestly, my reaction to that line, and particularly the -1000 money line is that it is freaking huge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That isn’t to say that they won’t both come through, just that I am surprised that, again, a top 25 team is giving up that much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Boise bandwagon effect, maybe?)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">UCLA +16 over Texas</div><div class="MsoNormal">So we are saying Garrett Gilbert is good?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because I’m not sure he is good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not saying he is bad, only that I have no reason to think he is good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Shouldn’t he have to have one good game before we give him 16 points in a system that relies on stud quarterbacks?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Horns probably win this game, but 16 is too much for a team that hasn’t shown much.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Auburn -3 over South Carolina</div><div class="MsoNormal">Auburn played badly last week, SC played well (enough, I guess).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems like this line throws out pretty much everything that we thought we knew about these teams.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Western Kentucky +27 over South Florida</div><div class="MsoNormal">Remember that time that the USF quarterback got all pissed because he didn’t get royalties with jerseys that had his number on them?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You don’t?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, well, anyways, there isn’t a team in the country (or Canada) that should be giving 27 points to USfreakingF.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Free money.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Georgia -1 over Missisippi State</div><div class="MsoNormal">I know Georgia looks like crap so far, but this team has some talent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This one looks like another overreaction line in the SEC.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">BYU +160 over Nevada</div><div class="MsoNormal">I would like to see Nevada pull this one out because of the infinitesimally small amount that it would help Boise for the WAC to look that much stronger, and they well could, but +160 is a great bet for teams that, to me, seem to be pretty even on paper.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take the money line rather than the spread, since so few games finish within the 4 you would get, and going from -110 to +160 is a huge upgrade.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Bengals -3 over Panthers</div><div class="MsoNormal">The Bengals are obviously a team that shouldn’t be huge favorites over anyone, but they definitely have talent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Carolina, on the other hand, appears to be in complete disarray.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Questions about Carson Palmer are swirling, but they beat the questions about whatever the hell the Panthers are going to do at the QB position.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is at least a 7 point game.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Cowboys +115 over Texans</div><div class="MsoNormal">The Boys are in disarray, but they are still talented, and now they are desperate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They should be anyways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will take +115 odds that they know what this game means for them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(And for what it’s worth, it has been the offense that has been the problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you knew that the Dallas D would hold, you would take them to go at least 11-5, no?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think they bounce back).</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Jets-Dolphins Under 35 ½ </div><div class="MsoNormal">Where exactly are points coming from here?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mark Sanchise?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Chad Henne?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Come on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For what it’s worth, I like the Jets under pretty much every week.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-31044369834938892872010-09-09T11:48:00.000-07:002010-09-09T11:48:54.934-07:00Hitting the Links; 9/9/10The links are back. That should do for an intro. Let's get after it.<br />
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1.<a href="http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/console?catid=35&id=75021"> Sidney Taking BP.</a><br />
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Sticking with the theme of hockey/baseball crossover from last week, here is a clip of Sidney Crosby taking batting practice at PNC park. Two words: Yard. Work. This is a shot. (For what it's worth, this got spread around pretty well in the day or so since it went up. I was hoping I could be one of the first, but thats what I get for waiting. Oh well.)<br />
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2. <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/Video-Goal-with-soccer-style-header-looks-cool-?urn=nhl-267462">Puck Daddy- Header Goal</a><br />
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I joked <a href="http://ovsports.blogspot.com/2009/12/all-things-hockey-december-21st-2009.html">here</a> that Louie Ericksson had pulled off a nice header to send the game into overtime. This kid makes him look bad.<br />
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3. <a href="http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=406336770555&v=info&ref=ts">Pierre McGuire Drinking Game</a><br />
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For readers over 21 years of age, or 19 in Canada only: With the hockey season coming up, you are probably asking yourself, 'how can I drink way more than is healthy, in a game like manner, while I am watching TSN or NBC?' As with most questions, the answer is on Facebook. <br />
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4. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qRxDUf6WI0">Brad Miller Time</a><br />
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From the 'my new favorite thing in the world' file, this is a show put together by a couple of guys on the North Dakota hockey team, and it is hilarious. The linked episode contains Matt Greene of the Los Angeles Kings, and is probably the highlight, but if you have some time to kill, all of the episodes are worth the 8-10 minutes they take to watch. <a href="http://www.fightingsioux.com/ViewArticle.dbml?DB_OEM_ID=13500&ATCLID=204814504">A complete list is available here</a>.<br />
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5. <a href="http://deadspin.com/5633104/">Jordan / Gretzky story</a><br />
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I am with Katie Baker in fearing for The Great One's health. A crazy story.<br />
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6. <a href="http://sports.neswblogs.com/2010/09/08/espn-turns-31-video-tribute/">ESPN Tribute</a><br />
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Moving away from hockey now. via Deadspin, here is a collection of outtakes, tributes and 'This is Sportscenter' commercials as a tribute for ESPN's 31st birthday.<br />
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7. <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/writers/peter_king/09/07/mail/index.html?eref=sihp">Peter King's Season Preview</a><br />
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King is probably the best writer/reporter combo working the NFL right now. After Hard Knocks, his columns are probably about as 'insider' as you can get.<br />
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8. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=514679DC12B64325">Highlights from Monday Night</a><br />
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If you aren't interested in Boise State Football, you can probably stop reading right now. This is a playlist of videos from one of the best football games I have seen in a while on Monday night (a column on the subject is in the works, and, admittedly, overdue).<br />
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(The first video is the game winning drive, shot from the stands, the second is a shot of the outstanding FedEx Field crowd, the third the actual game highlights, and the last one is the video of the Broncos taking the field in Boise, which has nothing to do with the Virginia Tech game, but is freaking badass.)<br />
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9. <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/writers/cory_mccartney/09/07/heisman-watch-week-1/index.html?eref=sihp">Heisman Watch- SI</a><br />
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Oh, look who is number one! Moore didn;t actually have an outstanding game against Tech, but the last drive turned heads. Hopefully he will stay in the race now that the Broncos will move out of the spotlight for a few weeks.<br />
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10.<a href="http://deadspin.com/5631674/last-nights-winner-boise-states-bogus-bcs-busting"> Deadspin on Boise</a><br />
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Finally, debbie downer chimes in, telling people like me to shut up about our little win, and laments the fact that this is our only test. Unfortunately he does a good job of it and raises some good points. Oh well. I'm still fired up.<br />
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________________________________________<br />
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Bonus. <a href="http://www.nyc.gov/html/fdny/media/tribute/tribute.html">A Small Tribute</a><br />
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I don't want to get overly preachy, heavy or sentimental, but Saturday is the 9th anniversary of 9/11, and it is worth taking a few minutes to remember and appreciate the sacrifices made and the efforts given to our country on that day. <br />
(And to celebrate patriotism, which is what we should feel on these anniversaries, in my opinion, and just to make sure people don't accidentally start taking me seriously, <a href="http://ovsports2.blogspot.com/2010/06/game-time.html">here is a list of America based videos one of which comes from a movie with puppets.</a>)Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8828528475325135053.post-41416676400037386662010-09-06T00:01:00.000-07:002010-09-06T00:01:48.980-07:00Fired Up for A New Game<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left: 6px; padding-right: 6px; padding-top: 6px; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://image.cdnl3.xosnetwork.com/pics31/800/OR/ORPEEHYINHTSXSK.20100829011938.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="170" src="http://image.cdnl3.xosnetwork.com/pics31/800/OR/ORPEEHYINHTSXSK.20100829011938.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; padding-top: 4px; text-align: center;">The Uniforms aren't all that have changed for the Broncos<br />
</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">Eastern Seaboard: Be on high alert. There is a severe storm warning that is in effect this weekend, and extreme caution should be exercised.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Earl? What is Earl?<br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">IM TALKIN BOUT HURRICANE JERON JOHNSON BABY. IT’S A CATEGORY 23 STORM AND ITS MAKING LANDFALL IN THE DC AREA MONDAY NIGHT SON. ARR, ARR! THE KID FROM COMPTON IS LAYING THE HAMMER AND THE BIG BLUE ARE BRINGING THE PAIN TO THE HOKIES BABY! MONDAY NIGHT! MONDAY NIGHT! WASHINGTON DC BECOMES THE CAPITAL OF BRONCO NATION! IT’S A BIG BLUE STORM, VA TECH BEST TAKE COVER SON! AAAHAHAHA WOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!<br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">(Hold on, I have to hit something…)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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(…and we’re back.)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
Having made that particular point, let’s take an objective look at the Boise State-Virginia Tech showdown on Monday night that highlights the opening week slate of college football. </div><div class="MsoNormal">So, the pertinent question to any Boise State fan is pretty simple. Is this the next biggest game in big blue history? </div><div class="MsoNormal">Now, for the last few years, for the major games that the Broncos have been involved in (the Fiesta Bowl last year, the Oregon game last year and the game in Eugene the year before), there has been a lot of talk about the ‘biggest in Boise State history.’ When these whisperings have been floating around, I have been of the mind that it was going to be impossible to top the original, since the Oklahoma game was not only the first big game, but also the one that was in a bowl, rather than early in the year. </div><div class="MsoNormal">This one might be, and I’ll get to that in a second, but first some credit is due. And that credit is to Virginia Tech. And that is because they don’t really have to be there. Boise State needs this game. Even with a preseason number three ranking, the Broncos need wins that stick out. Virginia Tech, on the other hand, has no such motivation. Let’s face it, failing an absolute mess at the top, an undefeated season in the ACC, even with the conference down, would be good to get them into the National Championship. Boise’s reputation has evolved to be such that a win will help them a lot, but they don’t need this game like Boise does, so they deserve credit for playing it. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Boise, on the other hand, needs this game, and that is why the title, “next biggest game” fits this one for big blue. The fact is, the stakes have changed in Boise. The BCS? Been there done that. The Fiesta Bowls were great. January 1<sup>st</sup>, 2007 made this team what it is, but a repeat won’t do this year. The Broncos and their number three ranking are for real. They are major league now, even if their conference isn’t, and the National Championship has become not only the goal, but a possibility, if the Broncos can play their way there.</div><div class="MsoNormal">(A repeat Fiesta Bowl visit is also almost impossible. A loss would almost certainly preclude them from the BCS, while a perfect slate could land them in the National Championship.</div><div class="MsoNormal">The last two years Boise State beat Oregon teams that could very well have been as good or better than Virginia Tech, but the last two years taking care of business in that one wasn’t enough, even after rolling off perfect regular seasons, to get them to the big stage. This year it is hard to imagine perfection coming up short again, which is what makes this game so big. </div><div class="MsoNormal">On the field, it is impossible to accurately break it down. Preseason college football rankings being among the most flawed things in sports, it would be a mistake to consider the Broncos going away favorites despite a seven spot advantage. The beginning of the College football season is about learning. Boise State knows what they have, returning 20 starters on offense and defense, but it is pointless to assume that this gives them the advantage, since it is impossible to say where V-Tech stands, and since so much of college football is about development anyway.</div><div class="MsoNormal">There is only one thing that we can rule out. The Broncos will be in this game. They simply return to much talent not to play with Virginia Tech, and it has been a long time since they went into a game unprepared, so there is little or no worry of that. </div><div class="MsoNormal">We know about the offense. Kellen Moore is back, has been playing Madden since the day it was released, and has his reads down pat. The howevermanyPetersonchoses-Headed running game will be as good as ever behind a line that is back as an entire unit (a rarity in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">any </i>football, let alone college). Titus Young is still one of the most electric players in the nation. More efficiency to come from the NASCAR offense. The defense though, is this team’s hidden strength. Hard hitting as any in the nation, Boise has evolved into a team that can hold their own in smashmouth football, if the run and gun isn’t there.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Gone is the talent discrepancy that reared its head in Georgia, the last time that the Broncos went out east to open up against a big time foe. The other night, my Dad commented that the Broncos high hopes could be dashed quickly if things go badly at FedEx. I see the other side of that. The hopes have finally come. We can have high hopes now, just like the so called big time schools, because Boise is big time. This time the Broncos are for real, not just for a mid major school, but for anyone. </div><div class="MsoNormal">The stakes have changed, and I, for one, am fired up. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01635532965107499090noreply@blogger.com0